The plight and fight of unmarried fathers in obtaining primary care (custody) of their children in South Africa. Can the battle be won, and what are their rights?

By Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf (LL.B LL.M) There is a common misconception that if a child was born out of wedlock, only the mother can be the primary caregiver of the child concerned. This may however generally be the case. However, it is presumed by some that if a mother cared for the child since his or her birth, the father would not be able to be the child’s primary caregiver. In other words, the child would no longer live with the mother, but with the father. We do not blame our clients for thinking so. That is the stereotype. However, as the world changes, so does the law. We are often approached by fathers who have a child that was born out of wedlock. He and the mother most probably lived together when the child was born. But things did not work out between them. The mother moved out and lived with her parents or on her own. The father would then regularly have contact with the child. The type of contact would be decided by the mother. Now the question is, even if the child is 10 years old, is it theoretically possible for the child to be cared for by the father and live with him primarily? The answer to that is yes. This is so, as the law looks at what is best for the child concerned.

What is the best interests of the child principle when it comes to parenting?

Both the South African Constitution and the Children’s Act, says that the child’s best interests are given priority. In other words, a child’s best interests are of paramount importance in matters relating to it. Therefore, for one to assume at the outset, that only mothers are the best primary caregivers, it is not only incorrect but potentially dangerous when dealing in children matters. The law expects us to look at all factors, not only who historically looked after the child, but also, the possibility of whether the father can better care for the child go forward. Also, as the child’s best interests are of paramount importance, deciding as to whether or not to move a child from the primary care of a mother to that of the father should not be done lightly. Therefore, even if the father 10 years later, can on the face of it care better for the child than the mother, this should not be the deciding factor. One would need to look at the emotional and psychological impact it would have on the child as well.

What would be an ideal situation where moving the child from the mother to the father would be warranted?

In our view, material comforts are not reason enough to move a child from the primary care of a mother to that of a father. If the father is a wealthy person, and the mother not, he can be ordered to pay more child support towards the child’s expenses. However, if the child is of a certain age, and he needs to have certain living conditions, and the father has it, then that would be a possible factor. For example, if the child is a gifted swimmer, 17 years old and in matric, a need to train consistently, then it makes sense that the father’s living amenities may be an important factor to justify the movement of the child.

Drug Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, and Mental Illness. Are these factors?

Then there is the obvious reason to move the child from the primary care of the mother to that of the father. This would be because the mother is incapable of caring for the minor child. She may have developed a mental illness, become an uncontrollable alcoholic, or addicted to illegal drugs. However, this alone does not automatically call for the father to be the minor child’s primary caregiver. It must first be determined that he can in fact care for the child. If the father only had supervised contact with the minor child and has his own issues, then in such a case, it may be better if the child is placed in foster care.

So it all depends on the facts and circumstances of the child and parents?

What we are attempting to demonstrate above is that depending on the facts and circumstances, it may be best that a child is moved from the care of a mother who cared for the child since birth, and be placed in the care of the father. The circumstances do not necessarily have to be serious like alcoholism a drug abuse on the part of the mother. Other reasons could be the academic needs, or the preference of the child, depending on his or her age. What can a father do if he wants to have primary care of his 10-year-old child? As stated above, the law looks at what is best for the child when it comes to who is to be the primary caregiver. It is just not there for the taking. If the parents can agree to a change of primary care, then the law would in most instances respect such a decision. However, if they cannot agree, the father would have to approach the competent court. But before doing so, he should attempt to mediate the matter.

What about the Child Care expert’s recommendations (Social worker, psychologist, Office of the Family Advocate)?

If mediation fails, and the matter proceeds to court, the court may decide to call on child care experts to assist the court in the matter. A social worker, psychologist, or the office of the family advocate may be appointed to provide a report and recommendations to the court. The court would only be guided by this document. In other words, the court would not be bound by the recommendations of the experts. If the court determines based on all the facts of the matter, that it would be in the minor child’s best interests for the father to have primary care; the court would then so order it. Therefore, in answering the question posed above; yes, an unmarried father in South Africa can obtain full custody of a 10-year-old child. This depends on the facts of the matter of course. Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf, Advocate of the High Court of South Africa Member of the Legal Practice Council We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well. Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links: Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws

Posted on 11 February 2025 by Telelaw

The plight and fight of unmarried fathers in obtaining primary care (custody) of their children in South Africa. Can the battle be won, and what are their rights?

By Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf (LL.B LL.M)

There is a common misconception that if a child was born out of wedlock, only the mother can be the primary caregiver of the child concerned. This may however generally be the case. However, it is presumed by some that if a mother cared for the child since his or her birth, the father would not be able to be the child’s primary caregiver. In other words, the child would no longer live with the mother, but with the father. We do not blame our clients for thinking so. That is the stereotype. However, as the world changes, so does the law.

We are often approached by fathers who have a child that was born out of wedlock. He and the mother most probably lived together when the child was born. But things did not work out between them. The mother moved out and lived with her parents or on her own. The father would then regularly have contact with the child. The type of contact would be decided by the mother. Now the question is, even if the child is 10 years old, is it theoretically possible for the child to be cared for by the father and live with him primarily? The answer to that is yes. This is so, as the law looks at what is best for the child concerned.

What is the best interests of the child principle when it comes to parenting?

Also, as the child’s best interests are of paramount importance, deciding as to whether or not to move a child from the primary care of a mother to that of the father should not be done lightly. Therefore, even if the father 10 years later, can on the face of it care better for the child than the mother, this should not be the deciding factor. One would need to look at the emotional and psychological impact it would have on the child as well.

What would be an ideal situation where moving the child from the mother to the father would be warranted?

Drug Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, and Mental Illness. Are these factors?

So it all depends on the facts and circumstances of the child and parents?

What can a father do if he wants to have primary care of his 10-year-old child?

As stated above, the law looks at what is best for the child when it comes to who is to be the primary caregiver. It is just not there for the taking. If the parents can agree to a change of primary care, then the law would in most instances respect such a decision. However, if they cannot agree, the father would have to approach the competent court. But before doing so, he should attempt to mediate the matter.

What about the Child Care expert’s recommendations (Social worker, psychologist, Office of the Family Advocate)?

If the court determines based on all the facts of the matter, that it would be in the minor child’s best interests for the father to have primary care; the court would then so order it. Therefore, in answering the question posed above; yes, an unmarried father in South Africa can obtain full custody of a 10-year-old child. This depends on the facts of the matter of course.

Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf, Advocate of the High Court of South Africa

Member of the Legal Practice Council

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Parents with Mental illnesses in child custody and care matters in South Africa
Biological parents are the ones who have parental responsibilities and rights over their children. Not grandparents, aunts, uncles and so on. Parental responsibilities and rights refer to caring, maintaining and acting as guardian for the child, to mention a few. Mothers automatically have parental responsibilities and rights of care, contact and guardianship, and fathers may either have it or acquire it. This depends on the facts of the case. The obligation to maintain your child however always applies.

Various factors are looked at when deciding what is best for a child

Having said the above, how parents exercise their parental responsibilities and rights would differ from case to case, especially if the parents are not living together. In such a case, various factors and circumstances will be looked at in determining what is best for the child. As would be seen later, in the case of a dispute in relation to how separated and divorced parents should exercise care and contact, expert advice needs to be considered. What this article deals with is how to resolve the issue of parental responsibilities and rights of care and contact when it comes to a parent having a mental illness or disease.

The child’s best interests in all matters concerning a child

We all want what is best for our children. That includes for them being cared for in the best possible way, either by you as a parent, or the other parent if that is best. Having parents who are mentally sound as caregivers are, therefore, an important aspect when it comes to raising a child. Logical and rational caring would take place under the circumstances. Parents would, therefore, communicate in a sensible way with the goal of caring for the child in the best possible way.

Mental illness in a parenting situation

If a couple lives together, and one of them has a mental illness, the other parent would be in a good position to care for the children and the other ill parent. However, problems arise when the parents are separated or no longer living together. The question is what happens to the child if one of the parents are mentally ill or have a mental disease or disorder? It must be stated that not all mental illnesses and diseases warrant consideration when it comes to the issue of care and contact in relation to minor children. If the mental illness or disease is adequately treated through medication and therapy, then it may not be a factor when it comes to parent’s parental responsibilities and rights of care and contact.

Types of mental illnesses and disorders

There are various types of mental illness and diseases. Some of the main groups of mental disorders are:

mood disorders (such as depression or bipolar disorder)
anxiety disorders
personality disorders
psychotic disorders (such as schizophrenia)
eating disorders
trauma-related disorders (such as post-traumatic stress disorder)
substance abuse disorders

Examples of signs and symptoms include:

Feeling sad or down
Confused thinking or reduced ability to concentrate
Excessive fears or worries, or extreme feelings of guilt
Extreme mood changes of highs and lows
Withdrawal from friends and activities
Significant tiredness, low energy or problems sleeping
Detachment from reality (delusions), paranoia or hallucinations
Inability to cope with daily problems or stress
Trouble understanding and relating to situations and to people
Problems with alcohol or drug use
Major changes in eating habits
Sex drive changes
Excessive anger, hostility or violence
Suicidal thinking

If any of the above-mentioned mental disorders and symptoms thereof would detrimentally affect a parent’s capability to care for a child; then it needs to be considered in a child custody matter. It could, therefore, happen that one parent who had custody over a child, loses it, due to developing or acquiring a mental illness.

How mental illness and diseases may manifest itself in child care and parenting situation

It may be that people with mental illnesses live normal lives as single individuals without any children. They would go to work, partake in sport, and socialize as any other person would. However, when children come into the picture, their mental illness could cause the following to occur:

The minor children are not cared for due to one parent having an obsessive-compulsive disorder of always washing his or her hands. They are therefore not fed on time, bathed nor care for properly;
A parent is violent and abusive towards the children. He may get angry very fast and act violently;
The parent is on strong medication which causes the parent to want to sleep all the time. The minor children are therefore not cared for at all and left to their own devices;
The parent lost all form of rationality and makes illogical decisions when it comes to the minor children, placing them in danger. For example, the parent may decide to take the minor children to walk with him or her to the shop late at night when it is dangerous to do so; and
The parent may suffer from hallucinations and live in a fantasy world. He or she may be guided on how to parent the minor children from “spirits” who visits and communicates with her.

Diagnoses of mental illness in a parent

It often happens that before a couple has a child, there are no apparent signs of mental illness. It may even happen that the parents of one of the parties knows of some underlying mental illness, but does not want to disclose it to the new person in their child’s life. In other cases, it is well known to all that there is a diagnosis of mental illness which is under control through medication, therapy and so on. And then there is the case where the person with the apparent mental illness does not want to seek any help or is in denial.

What happens after the child is born where one parent has a mental illness?

We are not medical doctors, psychologists, nor psychiatrists. However, in our experience, we noticed, in many of the cases we dealt with, that once a couple has a child, the mother’s medical illness surfaces, or becomes worse. The same may apply to the father. This observation could be because those types of matters make it to our office and should therefore not be a general assumption. However, be that as it may, if one parent has a medical illness that could affect her parenting skills, that needs to be looked at. This is so, even though it is not the parent’s fault that he or she has a mental illness. Now the best-case scenario would be for both parents to remain together if one has a mental disorder when there is a child involved. In that way, the child would be raised with both parents in his or her life and they can work as a team. Depending on the symptoms of the medical disorder, the family can live a balanced and fruitful life.

What happens to the child if the parents separate or divorces?

This is where the issues arise. Should the parents’ divorce or separate, the parties would have to decide who is best suited to care for the minor child or children. If the parent with the mental disorder was the primary caregiver of the minor child since birth, it would be hard to consider a change in primary caregiving. The parent with the mental illness may feel that it would be best that he or she care for the child, despite his or her mental condition. This is where things become very complicated and challenging. On the one hand, you have a parent who always cared for the child, but now has a mental illness, and want to retain primary care. On the other hand, you have a parent who was never the primary caregiver but now wants primary care due to the other parent’s mental condition.

Factors to be considered by the court and experts

Various factors come into play. For example, the age of the children, in whose home they will be living in, and also the mental condition itself. For example, if the child is 16 years old, and the mother has a serious mental illness, for the past 10 years, it would make little sense to change the primary residence of the minor child on that factor alone. By now the child would have learned to care for himself with the assistance the mother provided under the circumstances. On the other hand, if the child is 6 years old, and the mother cannot even take care of herself, then under those circumstances, it may be a good idea if the father primarily cares for the child after separation.

How does one resolve the issue of primary care if one of the parents have a mental condition?

Seeing that the condition is a medical one, mental health care experts need to get on board. An assessment would have to be made as to whether or not the child can be cared for by the relevant parent notwithstanding his or her mental condition. If there is no documentary proof, and such is required for court; the problem that one may encounter is that of doctor-patient confidentiality. This may not always be the case. But especially so if the parents were not married or living together. Usually, medical aid statements would give a timeline of the condition and its treatment. This would apply if the parent with the condition is on the other parent’s medical aid. If the medical practitioner is willing to give a report on the patient’s medical condition, and the inability to care for the minor child; things should be easier to resolve. However, if no such report or diagnosis is forthcoming, then things would be a bit more challenging. Either way, even if you have the report confirming the medical condition, and the issue is not resolved, then the court needs to be approached.

Approaching the court in a child custody matter where one parent has a mental illness

Not all cases of mental illness warrant a child being removed from the care of the primary caregiver. Each case is different and it depends on the facts of each one. However, should the mother had primary care, and she refuses to have the minor child reside with the father due to her mental condition, the court, unfortunately, have to be approached. If the father, in this case, has proof that the mother is mentally unsound and unable to care for the minor child, then the court would have to consider such evidence. This could be a report from the treating doctor or some medical records. The court may however not be in a position to decide how contact and care arrangements should be exercised. For this, the court may want the Office of the Family Advocate or a private social worker or psychologist to conduct an investigation and provide a report in the matter. Once the court has the expert report and heard from both parents concerned, would the court be in a favourable position to rule on what is best for the minor child? It does not mean that because the mother has a mental illness that she should not remain the primary caregiver. As outlined above, various factors would need to be considered. Especially the impact the mental illness would have on her caring ability towards the minor child.

We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well. Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links: Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws

Posted on 11 February 2025 by Telelaw

I am involved in a Child Custody dispute. How do you find out my rights?

A child custody dispute refers to a legal disagreement between parents or guardians regarding the custody or care of a child. This could involve issues such as where the child will live, visitation rights, and decision-making authority concerning the child’s upbringing. The resolution of child custody disputes is typically guided by the best interests of the child and may involve legal proceedings to determine custody arrangements.

Getting Legal Assistance with your child custody dispute

If you require legal assistance or representation with your child custody dispute, then feel free to contact us for assistance. The Firm Advocate, Muhammad Abduroaf, deals with these types of matters.

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Grandparent, Grandchildren, and the Law – Child Custody, Care and Guardianship

The caregiving of minor children is in principle, supposed to be the joint responsibility of both parents. It took two parents to bring the child into this world. However, equal sharing of the responsibilities is not always the case. Often, in a case of separation, responsibilities changes. The child lives primarily with one parent, and the other parent has reasonable contact, or sometimes less or none. In the scenario of reasonable contact, the child is still cared for by both parents, but not equally. Read on more to find out what does Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf say about this topic.

Equal caregiving of children

There are however cases where caregiving is shared equally – where the child lives for one week with the mother and the other with the father. But that becomes sometimes impractical when the parents live far from each other, and have different work schedules etc. If the child attends school closer to one parent’s home, he would have to wake up at different times each week, have different parents assist them with school work etc. However, if it can work, and is in the best interests of the child, it should be implemented.

Rights to third parties to minor children

But what happens when a third party, being a relative or otherwise, wants to have contact, care and guardianship over a minor child while one or both the parents are alive? We are not dealing with the issue of adoption – which is a completely different topic – but with the issue of whether other persons can also have rights to contact to a child. It is, however, safe to say that the parents’ rights of contact, custody and so on, would be limited to a certain extent.

Assignment of rights to grandparents

For the purposes of this article, you may ask yourself: Can grandparents be the caregivers of the child? Is this possible and does the law accommodate for a situation where non-biological parents have such rights? You will see below that the law does indeed allow for such a situation. Considering the title of this legal article, we will explore the scenario where maternal grandparents want to have primary care of a minor child after their daughter passed on in a case of a living father. The law mentioned can be applied to any scenario in which third parties are interested in having such rights assigned to the minor child. You may find the following articles interesting:

What law do we look at?

Well, first of all, we should always look at what is stated in the Constitution, Act 108 of 1996. The Constitution is supreme law in South Africa. What it says, is that a child’s best interests are of paramount importance in all matters concerning a child. This is something we already know. Then we look at legislation subordinate to the Constitution. In this case, we look at the Children’s Act 38 of 2005. This is where we are going to get our answers from.

The Children’s Act 38 of 2005

The Children’s Act is the main piece of legislation dealing with matters concerning children. Section 2 of the Children’s Act deals with its objective. Reading it would give you some type of understanding regarding the Act. It is quoted as follows: “2 Objects of Act The objects of this Act are- (a) to promote the preservation and strengthening of families; (b) to give effect to the following constitutional rights of children, namely- (i) family care or parental care or appropriate alternative care when removed from the family environment; (ii) social services; (iii) protection from maltreatment, neglect, abuse or degradation; and (iv) that the best interests of a child are of paramount importance in every matter concerning the child; (c) to give effect to the Republic’s obligations concerning the well-being of children in terms of international instruments binding on the Republic; (d) to make provision for structures, services and means for promoting and monitoring the sound physical, psychological, intellectual, emotional and social development of children; (e) to strengthen and develop community structures which can assist in providing care and protection for children; (f) to protect children from discrimination, exploitation and any other physical, emotional or moral harm or hazards; (g) to provide care and protection to children who are in need of care and protection; (h) to recognise the special needs that children with disabilities may have; and (i) generally, to promote the protection, development and well-being of children.” As you can see, the Children’s Act’s object is very extensive, focused solely in the interests of the child. Now let us look at what does it say about the best interests of a child. [caption id="attachment_5104" align="alignleft" width="208"]

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Best interests of a child

So what is meant by: “the child’s best interests”? Let’s go one step further and by detecting this in our legislation. As mentioned earlier, our Constitution also refers to it. Section 9 of the Children’s Act 38 of 2005 states the following: “9 Best interests of child paramount In all matters concerning the care, protection and well-being of a child the standard that the child’s best interest is of paramount importance, must be applied.” Now, there you have it. The law does not look at the interests of the parents or third parties. The law looks at what is best for the child under the circumstances. Now we need to move on to the question this legal article addresses: What does the law say about grandparents or third parties obtaining rights of care, contact and guardianship over a child not born from them? For this, we refer to the Children’s Act. Here it refers to the latter persons as interested persons.

Assignment of contact and care to interested person by order of the court

As third parties do not have any inherent parental responsibilities and rights as parents do; rights are assigned by a Court. Now, what does the law say about assigning rights of contact and care to interested third parties? Here section 23 of the Children’s Act is of assistance. Section 23 is quoted as follows” “23 Assignment of contact and care to interested person by order of court (1) Any person having an interest in the care, well-being or development of a child may apply to the High Court, a divorce court in divorce matters or the children’s court for an order granting to the applicant, on such conditions as the court may deem necessary- (a) contact with the child; or (b) care of the child. (2) When considering an application contemplated in subsection (1), the court must take into account- (a) the best interests of the child; (b) the relationship between the applicant and the child, and any other relevant person and the child; (c) the degree of commitment that the applicant has shown towards the child; (d) the extent to which the applicant has contributed towards expenses in connection with the birth and maintenance of the child; and (e) any other fact that should, in the opinion of the court, be taken into account. (3) If in the course of the court proceedings it is brought to the attention of the court that an application for the adoption of the child has been made by another applicant, the court- (a) must request a family advocate, social worker or psychologist to furnish it with a report and recommendations as to what is in the best interests of the child; and (b) may suspend the first-mentioned application on any conditions it may determine. (4) The granting of care or contact to a person in terms of this section does not affect the parental responsibilities and rights that any other person may have in respect of the same child.” So, there we have it. In short, if you formed part of the child’s life and have an interest in having rights of care and contact – the court may afford you such rights. Therefore, should you divorce the mother of your step child, you may also claim rights of contact to your step-child in the divorce court. Now, what are the potential for rights of guardianship being assigned to third parties and grandparents over minor children? And what is the law state? Here too, the Children’s Act comes to our assistance.

Assignment of guardianship by order of the court

Now that you know that our maternal grandparents referred to in the scenario above or any other interested persons, may be assigned rights of care and contact. Now, let’s move on to the aspect of guardianship. Guardianship would refer to the consent for the application of a passport, leaving the Republic, alienating immovable property and so on in relation to a minor child. In this regard, section 24 of the Children’s Act would be of assistance. This section is quoted as follows: “24 Assignment of guardianship by order of court (1) Any person having an interest in the care, well-being and development of a child may apply to the High Court for an order granting guardianship of the child to the applicant. (2) When considering an application contemplated in subsection (1), the court must take into account- (a) the best interests of the child; (b) the relationship between the applicant and the child, and any other relevant person and the child; and (c) any other fact that should, in the opinion of the court, be taken into account. (3) In the event of a person applying for guardianship of a child that already has a guardian, the applicant must submit reasons as to why the child’s existing guardian is not suitable to have guardianship in respect of the child.” The provisions are self-explanatory. What is interesting to note is that only the High Court can assign rights of guardianship over a minor child. The potential problem in that regard is that it can become inaccessible as not all persons can afford to take matters to the High Court. Looking at section 24 (4) of the Children’s Act, in our scenario above where the grandparents want guardianship, but the father is still alive, they must submit very good reasons as to why the father if he is a guardian, is not suitable to have guardianship in respect of the child. One such reason may be that he is and never was involved in the child’s life.

Final words of maternal grandparents obtaining rights over their grandchildren

As can be seen above, it is possible for a non-parent to be assigned rights of care, contact and guardianship over a minor child. What the Court looks at is what interest you have, and whether your application is in the child’s best interest. Now let us look at what role the High Court play in children matters before we conclude.

The High Court in Children Matters

The High Court is the upper guardian of all minor children within its jurisdiction. Therefore, should a matter concerning a child be brought before it, it would be able to adjudicate the matter and make an order as to what is in the minor child’s best interests. Therefore, seeing that guardianship is such an important aspect in a minor child’s life, one can see why the legislature only afforded the High Court with the power to assign rights of guardianship to interested parties.

What to do if you want to be assigned with rights of care, contact and guardianship to a minor child

If you are an interested party in a minor child’s life and wish to be assigned rights of care, contact and guardianship; it is advised that you speak to a lawyer who is knowledgeable on sections 23 and 24 of the Children’s Act and familiar with Court Applications regarding minor children.

Have a family Law appointment with us

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