The plight and fight of unmarried fathers in obtaining primary care (custody) of their children in South Africa. Can the battle be won, and what are their rights?

By Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf (LL.B LL.M) There is a common misconception that if a child was born out of wedlock, only the mother can be the primary caregiver of the child concerned. This may however generally be the case. However, it is presumed by some that if a mother cared for the child since his or her birth, the father would not be able to be the child’s primary caregiver. In other words, the child would no longer live with the mother, but with the father. We do not blame our clients for thinking so. That is the stereotype. However, as the world changes, so does the law. We are often approached by fathers who have a child that was born out of wedlock. He and the mother most probably lived together when the child was born. But things did not work out between them. The mother moved out and lived with her parents or on her own. The father would then regularly have contact with the child. The type of contact would be decided by the mother. Now the question is, even if the child is 10 years old, is it theoretically possible for the child to be cared for by the father and live with him primarily? The answer to that is yes. This is so, as the law looks at what is best for the child concerned.

What is the best interests of the child principle when it comes to parenting?

Both the South African Constitution and the Children’s Act, says that the child’s best interests are given priority. In other words, a child’s best interests are of paramount importance in matters relating to it. Therefore, for one to assume at the outset, that only mothers are the best primary caregivers, it is not only incorrect but potentially dangerous when dealing in children matters. The law expects us to look at all factors, not only who historically looked after the child, but also, the possibility of whether the father can better care for the child go forward. Also, as the child’s best interests are of paramount importance, deciding as to whether or not to move a child from the primary care of a mother to that of the father should not be done lightly. Therefore, even if the father 10 years later, can on the face of it care better for the child than the mother, this should not be the deciding factor. One would need to look at the emotional and psychological impact it would have on the child as well.

What would be an ideal situation where moving the child from the mother to the father would be warranted?

In our view, material comforts are not reason enough to move a child from the primary care of a mother to that of a father. If the father is a wealthy person, and the mother not, he can be ordered to pay more child support towards the child’s expenses. However, if the child is of a certain age, and he needs to have certain living conditions, and the father has it, then that would be a possible factor. For example, if the child is a gifted swimmer, 17 years old and in matric, a need to train consistently, then it makes sense that the father’s living amenities may be an important factor to justify the movement of the child.

Drug Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, and Mental Illness. Are these factors?

Then there is the obvious reason to move the child from the primary care of the mother to that of the father. This would be because the mother is incapable of caring for the minor child. She may have developed a mental illness, become an uncontrollable alcoholic, or addicted to illegal drugs. However, this alone does not automatically call for the father to be the minor child’s primary caregiver. It must first be determined that he can in fact care for the child. If the father only had supervised contact with the minor child and has his own issues, then in such a case, it may be better if the child is placed in foster care.

So it all depends on the facts and circumstances of the child and parents?

What we are attempting to demonstrate above is that depending on the facts and circumstances, it may be best that a child is moved from the care of a mother who cared for the child since birth, and be placed in the care of the father. The circumstances do not necessarily have to be serious like alcoholism a drug abuse on the part of the mother. Other reasons could be the academic needs, or the preference of the child, depending on his or her age. What can a father do if he wants to have primary care of his 10-year-old child? As stated above, the law looks at what is best for the child when it comes to who is to be the primary caregiver. It is just not there for the taking. If the parents can agree to a change of primary care, then the law would in most instances respect such a decision. However, if they cannot agree, the father would have to approach the competent court. But before doing so, he should attempt to mediate the matter.

What about the Child Care expert’s recommendations (Social worker, psychologist, Office of the Family Advocate)?

If mediation fails, and the matter proceeds to court, the court may decide to call on child care experts to assist the court in the matter. A social worker, psychologist, or the office of the family advocate may be appointed to provide a report and recommendations to the court. The court would only be guided by this document. In other words, the court would not be bound by the recommendations of the experts. If the court determines based on all the facts of the matter, that it would be in the minor child’s best interests for the father to have primary care; the court would then so order it. Therefore, in answering the question posed above; yes, an unmarried father in South Africa can obtain full custody of a 10-year-old child. This depends on the facts of the matter of course. Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf, Advocate of the High Court of South Africa Member of the Legal Practice Council We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well. Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links: Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws    
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The plight and fight of unmarried fathers in obtaining primary care (custody) of their children in South Africa. Can the battle be won, and what are their rights?

By Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf (LL.B LL.M)

There is a common misconception that if a child was born out of wedlock, only the mother can be the primary caregiver of the child concerned. This may however generally be the case. However, it is presumed by some that if a mother cared for the child since his or her birth, the father would not be able to be the child’s primary caregiver. In other words, the child would no longer live with the mother, but with the father. We do not blame our clients for thinking so. That is the stereotype. However, as the world changes, so does the law.

We are often approached by fathers who have a child that was born out of wedlock. He and the mother most probably lived together when the child was born. But things did not work out between them. The mother moved out and lived with her parents or on her own. The father would then regularly have contact with the child. The type of contact would be decided by the mother. Now the question is, even if the child is 10 years old, is it theoretically possible for the child to be cared for by the father and live with him primarily? The answer to that is yes. This is so, as the law looks at what is best for the child concerned.

What is the best interests of the child principle when it comes to parenting?

Both the South African Constitution and the Children’s Act, says that the child’s best interests are given priority. In other words, a child’s best interests are of paramount importance in matters relating to it. Therefore, for one to assume at the outset, that only mothers are the best primary caregivers, it is not only incorrect but potentially dangerous when dealing in children matters. The law expects us to look at all factors, not only who historically looked after the child, but also, the possibility of whether the father can better care for the child go forward.

Also, as the child’s best interests are of paramount importance, deciding as to whether or not to move a child from the primary care of a mother to that of the father should not be done lightly. Therefore, even if the father 10 years later, can on the face of it care better for the child than the mother, this should not be the deciding factor. One would need to look at the emotional and psychological impact it would have on the child as well.

What would be an ideal situation where moving the child from the mother to the father would be warranted?

In our view, material comforts are not reason enough to move a child from the primary care of a mother to that of a father. If the father is a wealthy person, and the mother not, he can be ordered to pay more child support towards the child’s expenses. However, if the child is of a certain age, and he needs to have certain living conditions, and the father has it, then that would be a possible factor. For example, if the child is a gifted swimmer, 17 years old and in matric, a need to train consistently, then it makes sense that the father’s living amenities may be an important factor to justify the movement of the child.

Drug Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, and Mental Illness. Are these factors?

Then there is the obvious reason to move the child from the primary care of the mother to that of the father. This would be because the mother is incapable of caring for the minor child. She may have developed a mental illness, become an uncontrollable alcoholic, or addicted to illegal drugs. However, this alone does not automatically call for the father to be the minor child’s primary caregiver. It must first be determined that he can in fact care for the child. If the father only had supervised contact with the minor child and has his own issues, then in such a case, it may be better if the child is placed in foster care.

So it all depends on the facts and circumstances of the child and parents?

What we are attempting to demonstrate above is that depending on the facts and circumstances, it may be best that a child is moved from the care of a mother who cared for the child since birth, and be placed in the care of the father. The circumstances do not necessarily have to be serious like alcoholism a drug abuse on the part of the mother. Other reasons could be the academic needs, or the preference of the child, depending on his or her age.

What can a father do if he wants to have primary care of his 10-year-old child?

As stated above, the law looks at what is best for the child when it comes to who is to be the primary caregiver. It is just not there for the taking. If the parents can agree to a change of primary care, then the law would in most instances respect such a decision. However, if they cannot agree, the father would have to approach the competent court. But before doing so, he should attempt to mediate the matter.

What about the Child Care expert’s recommendations (Social worker, psychologist, Office of the Family Advocate)?

If mediation fails, and the matter proceeds to court, the court may decide to call on child care experts to assist the court in the matter. A social worker, psychologist, or the office of the family advocate may be appointed to provide a report and recommendations to the court. The court would only be guided by this document. In other words, the court would not be bound by the recommendations of the experts.

If the court determines based on all the facts of the matter, that it would be in the minor child’s best interests for the father to have primary care; the court would then so order it. Therefore, in answering the question posed above; yes, an unmarried father in South Africa can obtain full custody of a 10-year-old child. This depends on the facts of the matter of course.

Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf, Advocate of the High Court of South Africa

Member of the Legal Practice Council

We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well.

Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links:

Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws

 

 

Related Post

Divorce Lawyers – Make sure your Attorney or Advocate is on your side

Divorce Lawyer – Divorces need not be difficult. With a large number of marriages ending up in divorce; surely the process should be simple. When a marriage has broken down irretrievably, life needs to go on. It is senseless to make up for your unsuccessful marriage, by trying to have a successful divorce. If there are children involved, there is even more reason not to fight. And if there are no children involved, the only outstanding issues would be property. But if you were married out of Community of Property, there is no need to fight at all. This is where a good divorce lawyer comes in.

Family Law Questions and Answers

Should you not find what you are looking for, feel free to post your questions on our blog, by clicking on the following links:

Divorces – Questions and Answers

Child Custody – Questions and Answers

Child Maintenance – Question and Answers

Domestic Violence – Questions and Answers

You are welcome to call us on 021 424 3487 / 0870735800

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Business SA or Private Legal.

This article does not deal with the procedural aspects of a divorce. Other articles on this website deal with that. The aim of this article is for you to search and find a good divorce lawyer, attorney, or advocate that has your best interests at heard. In other words, not there to make a small fortune off you, at the expense of your well being and that of your family. Below you would find a consent paper, with reasonable terms, that can be customised accordingly.

How should divorce lawyers deal with divorce matters?

Not all divorces are the same. But the reality is, not all divorces need to be a fight. The only persons that benefit from a long drawn out divorce are lawyers. And once the funds dry out, so too does the divorce lawyer’s energy for your case. In our view, the first thing the divorce lawyers should do when approached by a client for a divorce is to resolve it expeditiously. This can be done by trying to call both parties into a round table meeting. This is where all issues are unpacked. If that is not possible, send the other side a reasonable settlement agreement. In that way, before huge sums of money are wasted on legal costs; matters can be resolved in a cost effective manner. Have a look at the Settlement Agreement below which should be part of any good divorce lawyer’s templates. It is reasonable an one that should be accepted by the other side with due amendments. [caption id="attachment_6682" align="alignleft" width="300"]Divorce Attorney Cape Town Divorce Attorney Cape Town[/caption]

EXAMPLE OF A CONSENT PAPER

IN   THE   HIGH   COURT OF SOUTH   AFRICA (WESTERN CAPE DIVISION, CAPE TOWN) CASE NO:          /18 In the matter between:   JOHN SMITH                                                                    PLAINTIFF       and     JANE SMITH                                                                   DEFENDANT     CONSENT PAPER   INTRODUCTION THE PARTIES, as described above, were married to each other on XXX, at XXX, Cape Town, Western Cape, and the marriage still so subsists; THREE (3) MINOR CHILDREN, namely, XXX (hereafter together referred to as “the minor children”), were born from the marriage; THE PARTIES find it unfortunate, and are in agreement that the marriage has broken down irretrievably and that there is no reasonable prospect of the restoration of a normal relationship between them; AND THEREFORE, the Parties both wish for a divorce, dissolving the marriage between them, which divorce both parties would co-operate in finalising as friendly and as speedily as possible; AND WHEREAS the Parties have arrived at an Agreement relating, inter alia, to parental responsibilities and rights, proprietary rights and costs of suit, which agreement the Parties desire to record in writing and have incorporated in the Final Order of Divorce in the event of the above Honourable Court seeing it fit to grant a Final Decree of Divorce dissolving the marriage between the Parties. NOW THEREFORE THESE SAID PARTIES AGREES AS FOLLOWS:
  1. PERSONAL MAINTENANCE
    • Each Party hereby waives his or her claim to personal maintenance, past, present and future from the other Party, if any;
  2. PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITIES AND RIGHTS
    • The Parties are to remain co-holders of parental responsibilities and rights in respect of the minor children in terms of the Children’s Act, 38 of 2005 (“the Children’s Act”) as follows:
      • The Parties are to remain co-holders of guardianship over the minor children as provided for in Section 18(2(c), 18(3), 18(4) and 18(5) of the Children’s Act; and
      • The Parties are to remain co-holders of parental responsibilities and rights of care and contact in respect of the minor children as provided for in Section 18(2)(a) and (b) of the Children’s Act.
    • The Parties’ rights of care and contact shall be implemented as follows:
      • The minor children shall reside primarily with Plaintiff who shall be their primary care-giver; and
      • Defendant shall have reasonable contact with the minor children as follows unless agreed to otherwise between the Parties:
        • Every alternative weekend, commencing from Friday 15:00 until 17:00 on the Sunday;
        • Every Tuesday preceding his weekend of contact from 17:00 to 20:00; and
        • Every Thursday succeeding his weekend of contact from 17:00 to 20:00.
      • School Holidays
        • Equal sharing of long and short school holidays, in that the minor children shall reside one half with Plaintiff and the other with Defendant which shall alternate each year.
      • Special Days Contact
      • The Plaintiff and/or the Defendant, as the case may be, shall further have contact with the minor children on the following days for 3 (three) hours notwithstanding in whose care the minor children are in on those days:
        • Christmas Day;
        • The minor children’s birthday;
        • Father’s Day and Mother’s Day; and
        • The Parties’ birthday.
      • The Parties shall have telephonic contact with the minor children on a regular basis whilst the minor children are in the other’s care;
      • Notwithstanding the above, the Parties shall have reasonable contact with the minor children at all times, provided that any additional contact shall be arranged telephonically and shall only take place by prior arrangement and consensus between the Parties; and
      • The Parties shall respect each other’s privacy and shall not enter each other’s homes at any time without prior invitation, whether for the purpose of fetching or returning the minor children or any other reason whatsoever.
    • JOINT DECISION MAKING
      • The Parties shall make joint decisions about the following aspects of the minor children’s life:
        • Major decisions about the minor children’s schooling and tertiary education;
        • Major decisions about the minor children’s physical care, mental health care and medical care;
        • Major decisions about the minor children’s religious and spiritual upbringing;
        • Decisions about the minor children’s residence both within and outside the Cape Peninsula;
        • Decisions which are likely to significantly change the minor children’s living conditions or to have an adverse effect on their well-being; and
        • Decisions which affect the minor children’s everyday care and daily routine shall be made by the party in whose care the minor children are in at the relevant time.
  1. FACILITATION
    • A facilitator shall be appointed by the parties jointly to facilitate and assist in resolving disputes between the parties relating to the minor children;
    • These disputes shall include contact disputes should one party feel that contact should be increased or decreased, or varied for either party;
    • In the event of the facilitator being unable to continue as facilitator, then he/she shall appoint a facilitator in his/her place, alternatively, or should the parties be unable to agree on the appointment of a facilitator or replacement facilitator, such facilitator or replacement facilitator as the case may be shall be appointed by the chairperson for the time being of FAMAC (Western Cape);
    • In the event of the parties being unable to reach agreement in respect of a dispute, with the assistance of the facilitator, then the facilitator shall be entitled to issue a directive in respect of such dispute which shall be valid of full legal force and effect and binding upon the parties until a court of competent jurisdiction Orders differently;
    • The facilitator shall be entitled in his/her sole discretion to appoint such other person as may be necessary in order to make a decision in respect of the issue in dispute, including the right to co-opt a facilitator or the assistance of an appropriate expert if he/she deems it appropriate or necessary; and
    • The cost of sessions with the facilitator and the services of the expert shall be shared equally between the parties unless otherwise directed by the facilitator. Each Party shall, however, be liable for the facilitator’s costs incurred attendant upon such party’s written and telephonic communications with the facilitator.
  2. CHILD MAINTENANCE
    • Defendant shall pay an amount of R XXX – 00 (XXX Rand) per month per child, in respect of child maintenance;
    • The aforementioned amounts are payable on or before the 1st day of each and every succeeding month from the date of the Divorce. The said sum shall be paid into such bank account as Plaintiff may nominate from time to time;
    • The child maintenance payable shall increase annually on the 1st day of January each year, in accordance with the rise that has taken place in the preceding 12 (Twelve) months in the Consumer Price Index (CPI) for the Republic of South Africa, as determined by the Director of Statistics or its equivalent for persons in the middle-income group;
    • Plaintiff shall retain Alyssa Skye Abrahams, on her current medical aid scheme, or a similar scheme with similar benefits;
    • Defendant shall retain Joel Malcolm Abrahams, on his current medical aid scheme, or similar scheme with similar benefits;
    • Both Parties would be responsible, in equal shares in respect of the minor children for all reasonable medical, psychological, physiotherapy, dental, ophthalmic, pharmaceutical, hospitalization and prescribed medication costs, incurred, and not covered by the latter medical aid schemes.
    • If the minor children display aptitudes and qualify for tertiary education, then both Parties shall be responsible in equal shares for all the costs associated with such tertiary education, which shall include, but not limited to, tuition, textbooks, transport, and boarding if necessary. In this regard, if one Party paid for an educational expense in full, he or she shall accordingly be reimbursed with half the expense within 7 (seven) days of being showed proof of such expense.
  3. THE JOINT ESTATE OF THE PARTIES SHALL BE DIVIDED AS FOLLOWS:
    • Defendant’s Investment Policy
      • XXX
    • MOTOR VEHICLES
      • XXX
  1. BALANCE OF THE JOINT ESTATE
    • The balance of the Joint Estate shall equally be divided between the Parties.
  2. OBLIGATIONS BINDING ON ESTATE
    • The obligations in terms of this Consent Paper shall be binding on the parties’ respective estates, heirs, administrators and/or assigns.
  3. FULL AND FINAL SETTLEMENT
    • This Agreement is a full and final settlement of all outstanding differences between them, and save as herein provided, neither party shall enjoy any personal claim against the other.
  4. COSTS
    • Each party shall pay their own legal costs associated with the divorce.
   
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