Top tips and tricks from a Senior Family Law Advocate on claiming maintenance for a five-year-old child in Potchefstroom.

Child Maintenance is the right of the child, and not that of the parent. It is also not a privilege granted to parents who must pay it. It is their duty to pay child maintenance and support their children. Once the child is self-supporting (being able to care for him or herself), the obligation falls away. This can happen when the child is 18, 20, or even 30. It all depends on the circumstances of the case.

Claiming child maintenance for your child in Potchefstroom

Whether you claim child maintenance in Potchefstroom, or any other city in South Africa, the procedures would be the same. There are however two (2) courts that can deal with child maintenance matters. That is a divorce court, in a divorce matter, and a Child Maintenance Court. For this article, we will focus on claiming maintenance in a Maintenance Court matter in Potchefstroom.

The maintenance scenario – Potchefstroom South Africa

In this article, we will deal with the following fictitious scenario, in a child maintenance matter:

  1. The Child is seven years old and attends school in Potchefstroom
  2. The child is cared for by the mother who works in Potchefstroom
  3. The mother works and earns a Salary of R 10 000
  4. The father sees the child every second weekend. He also lives and works in Potchefstroom
  5. The child’s monthly expenses are R 6000 – 00 which includes food, clothing, accommodation, education, travel etc.
  6. The father earns a reasonable salary and can afford the R 20 000 – 00 per month
  7. The mother claims R 4 000 – 00 maintenance as the father earns double her salary

What is the first step the mother must take in claiming child maintenance?

The first thing the mother must do is work out exactly what the child costs by item. She breaks down the minor child’s living expenses, starting from rent or accommodation to groceries to school fees etc. Once she has done that, she would need to determine what exactly does the minor child cost per month, seeing that she will be asking the father to contribute towards that. As best as possible, she needs to collect proof of expenses. This can be in the form of receipts.

How does she start the legal process?

The mother now needs to approach the maintenance court in the area where she lives or works to lodge a complaint for child maintenance. If she lives or works in Potchefstroom, it would be the maintenance court in Potchefstroom. She will complete a Form A wherein she will provide all the expenses for her and the minor child. She would also have to stipulate her income. Once she completed the form and submitted it to the maintenance court, she must then follow the next step.

What do you do while waiting for the maintenance court date?

While you wait to be informed of the court date by the Maintenance Court of Potchefstroom, and up until the actual first court date, you need to ensure that you keep a record of all income and expenses for you and the child. This is very important as the court allocates maintenance based on recent income and expenses.

What happens at the first court appearance at the Potchefstroom Maintenance Court?

Once you have been notified of the maintenance court date by the Potchefstroom Maintenance Court, you need to ensure that you attend it. On that day, both you and the father of the child would appear before a maintenance officer. The maintenance officer would go through both your income and expenses as well as that of the father. If all the relevant information is not before the maintenance court, then the matter may be postponed in order for the parties to submit it.

The maintenance officer will try to settle the matter and have the parents come to an agreement regarding the amount of child maintenance to be paid. If they cannot come to an agreement regarding the child maintenance to be paid, the matter would have to proceed to a formal hearing or trial before a Magistrate.

How does the Maintenance Court hearing or trial work in Potchefstroom?

Essentially, the maintenance court is called upon to make a fair ruling regarding what is a fair amount of child support that needs to be paid. For that to happen, the parents would have to give evidence in that regard. The mother would present to the court what the child costs, what she contributes and what she requires the other parent to pay. The Father would have a right to question the mother and to present evidence as to why he cannot afford the amount requested or why he feels it is an unfair amount. The mother can they also question him.

At the end of the day, the Potchefstroom Maintenance Court would be able to properly determine what is a fair and adequate amount of child maintenance to pay after being presented will all relevant information. The Potchefstroom Maintenance Court should play an active role in determining what is a fair amount of child maintenance the father should pay.

The above child maintenance application principles should apply to the following provinces and cities:

Eastern Cape:

Alice, Butterworth, East London, Graaff-Reinet, Grahamstown, King William’s Town, Mthatha

Port Elizabeth, Queenstown, Uitenhage, Zwelitsha

Free State:

Bethlehem. Bloemfontein, Jagersfontein, Kroonstad, Odendaalsrus, Parys, Phuthaditjhaba, Sasolburg, Virginia, Welkom

Gauteng:

Benoni, Boksburg, Brakpan, Carletonville, Germiston, Johannesburg, Krugersdorp, Pretoria, Randburg, Randfontein, Roodepoort, Soweto, Springs, Vanderbijlpark, Vereeniging

KwaZulu-Natal:

Durban, Empangeni, Ladysmith, Newcastle, Pietermaritzburg, Pinetown, Ulundi, Umlazi

Limpopo:

Giyani, Lebowakgomo, Musina, Phalaborwa, Polokwane, Seshego, Sibasa, Thabazimbi

Mpumalanga:

Emalahleni, Nelspruit, Secunda, North West, Klerksdorp, Mahikeng, Mmabatho, Potchefstroom, Rustenburg, Northern Cape, Kimberley, Kuruman, Port Nolloth

Western Cape:

Bellville, Potchefstroom, Constantia, George, Hopefield, Oudtshoorn, Paarl, Simon’s Town, Stellenbosch, Swellendam, Worcester

 

 

 

Posted on by Telelaw

Top tips and tricks from a Senior Family Law Advocate on claiming maintenance for a five-year-old child in Potchefstroom.

Child Maintenance is the right of the child, and not that of the parent. It is also not a privilege granted to parents who must pay it. It is their duty to pay child maintenance and support their children. Once the child is self-supporting (being able to care for him or herself), the obligation falls away. This can happen when the child is 18, 20, or even 30. It all depends on the circumstances of the case.

Claiming child maintenance for your child in Potchefstroom

Whether you claim child maintenance in Potchefstroom, or any other city in South Africa, the procedures would be the same. There are however two (2) courts that can deal with child maintenance matters. That is a divorce court, in a divorce matter, and a Child Maintenance Court. For this article, we will focus on claiming maintenance in a Maintenance Court matter in Potchefstroom.

The maintenance scenario – Potchefstroom South Africa

In this article, we will deal with the following fictitious scenario, in a child maintenance matter:

  1. The Child is seven years old and attends school in Potchefstroom
  2. The child is cared for by the mother who works in Potchefstroom
  3. The mother works and earns a Salary of R 10 000
  4. The father sees the child every second weekend. He also lives and works in Potchefstroom
  5. The child’s monthly expenses are R 6000 – 00 which includes food, clothing, accommodation, education, travel etc.
  6. The father earns a reasonable salary and can afford the R 20 000 – 00 per month
  7. The mother claims R 4 000 – 00 maintenance as the father earns double her salary

What is the first step the mother must take in claiming child maintenance?

The first thing the mother must do is work out exactly what the child costs by item. She breaks down the minor child’s living expenses, starting from rent or accommodation to groceries to school fees etc. Once she has done that, she would need to determine what exactly does the minor child cost per month, seeing that she will be asking the father to contribute towards that. As best as possible, she needs to collect proof of expenses. This can be in the form of receipts.

How does she start the legal process?

The mother now needs to approach the maintenance court in the area where she lives or works to lodge a complaint for child maintenance. If she lives or works in Potchefstroom, it would be the maintenance court in Potchefstroom. She will complete a Form A wherein she will provide all the expenses for her and the minor child. She would also have to stipulate her income. Once she completed the form and submitted it to the maintenance court, she must then follow the next step.

What do you do while waiting for the maintenance court date?

While you wait to be informed of the court date by the Maintenance Court of Potchefstroom, and up until the actual first court date, you need to ensure that you keep a record of all income and expenses for you and the child. This is very important as the court allocates maintenance based on recent income and expenses.

What happens at the first court appearance at the Potchefstroom Maintenance Court?

Once you have been notified of the maintenance court date by the Potchefstroom Maintenance Court, you need to ensure that you attend it. On that day, both you and the father of the child would appear before a maintenance officer. The maintenance officer would go through both your income and expenses as well as that of the father. If all the relevant information is not before the maintenance court, then the matter may be postponed in order for the parties to submit it.

The maintenance officer will try to settle the matter and have the parents come to an agreement regarding the amount of child maintenance to be paid. If they cannot come to an agreement regarding the child maintenance to be paid, the matter would have to proceed to a formal hearing or trial before a Magistrate.

How does the Maintenance Court hearing or trial work in Potchefstroom?

Essentially, the maintenance court is called upon to make a fair ruling regarding what is a fair amount of child support that needs to be paid. For that to happen, the parents would have to give evidence in that regard. The mother would present to the court what the child costs, what she contributes and what she requires the other parent to pay. The Father would have a right to question the mother and to present evidence as to why he cannot afford the amount requested or why he feels it is an unfair amount. The mother can they also question him.

At the end of the day, the Potchefstroom Maintenance Court would be able to properly determine what is a fair and adequate amount of child maintenance to pay after being presented will all relevant information. The Potchefstroom Maintenance Court should play an active role in determining what is a fair amount of child maintenance the father should pay.

The above child maintenance application principles should apply to the following provinces and cities:

Eastern Cape:

Alice, Butterworth, East London, Graaff-Reinet, Grahamstown, King William’s Town, Mthatha

Port Elizabeth, Queenstown, Uitenhage, Zwelitsha

Free State:

Bethlehem. Bloemfontein, Jagersfontein, Kroonstad, Odendaalsrus, Parys, Phuthaditjhaba, Sasolburg, Virginia, Welkom

Gauteng:

Benoni, Boksburg, Brakpan, Carletonville, Germiston, Johannesburg, Krugersdorp, Pretoria, Randburg, Randfontein, Roodepoort, Soweto, Springs, Vanderbijlpark, Vereeniging

KwaZulu-Natal:

Durban, Empangeni, Ladysmith, Newcastle, Pietermaritzburg, Pinetown, Ulundi, Umlazi

Limpopo:

Giyani, Lebowakgomo, Musina, Phalaborwa, Polokwane, Seshego, Sibasa, Thabazimbi

Mpumalanga:

Emalahleni, Nelspruit, Secunda, North West, Klerksdorp, Mahikeng, Mmabatho, Potchefstroom, Rustenburg, Northern Cape, Kimberley, Kuruman, Port Nolloth

Western Cape:

Bellville, Potchefstroom, Constantia, George, Hopefield, Oudtshoorn, Paarl, Simon’s Town, Stellenbosch, Swellendam, Worcester

 

 

 

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I Appealed my divorce court’s decision regarding care and contact for my two minor children to the High Court. I was successful.

After a 12-year marriage, which was in community of property, and raising two minor children, I was compelled to initiate divorce proceedings due to severe issues, including gambling, alcohol abuse, and infidelity on my husband’s part. This caused me to leave the marital home with my minor children three years ago. Since our separation, I have been the sole caregiver for our two minor children, ages 10 and 11. My primary concern is their well-being, and I have dedicated myself to their care and upbringing.

Initiating the divorce proceedings

Instituting divorce proceedings against him was the best thing I could have done for myself. He did not take this lightly and immediately defended the divorce proceedings. This was unfortunate, as I believed we could have amicably resolved the divorce. The divorce, in my view, should have been a simple one. Although we were married in a community of property, we did not have many assets. An immovable property involved a house that needed to be sold, and the bond would have to be paid so that we could have shared the sale proceeds. None of us have pension funds, and there is little debt in the joint estate. The only issue was what type of contact my husband would have with the minor children after the divorce.

The primary caregiver of the minor children

There was no dispute regarding the minor children remaining in my primary care. At the same time, I do not believe it will benefit the minor children if the father has limited contact with them. Despite our marriage problems, my husband has always been an excellent father to my minor children. They are very fond of him and him of them. Furthermore, I have spoken to the minor children regarding the divorce, and they agree that they would want to remain in my primary care.

My husband fighting for shared care of the minor children

After instituting divorce proceedings, my husband decided that he wants to have shared care over the minor children. This never made sense to me. Firstly, although he was always in their lives, he was not their primary caregiver or cared for them like a primary caregiver would. I was the one who attended to them from birth, fed them when they were babies, took them to school, assisted them with their homework, and so on. My husband was always there, playing with them and communicating with them. He would take us as a family out on the weekend to the beach for entertainment, and it was always around. However, should the minor children fall ill, I attended to them. They will come to me first if they require any assistance with schoolwork, homework, extramural activities, etc. Therefore, it would not have benefited the minor children to be in my husband’s care for half the month. At the same time, my husband, due to infidelity, was involved with other people, and therefore, I do not believe it would benefit the minor children to be exposed to his lifestyle and, at the same time, be cared for by him. However, I accept that the minor children would have to meet his new partner as she would form part of their lives. Therefore, I had no problem with him having contact with the minor children every second weekend and half of the school holidays.

Presenting my husband with a parenting plan

My attorney at the time presented my husband with a parenting plan. The parenting plan, in my view, was fair. It allowed my husband to have contact with the minor children every day of the week after school for about an hour or two. It also allowed him to have contact with the minor children every second weekend from after school on a Friday until 5 pm on Sunday. He also would have contact with the minor children for half of the long and short school holidays. He would also see the minor children on Father’s Day, Christmas Day, and other special days. On his birthday, he would also have contact with the minor children.

My husband refuses to accept my parenting plan

Unfortunately, my husband disagreed with my attorney’s parenting plan and said he would not move away for shared care of the minor children. What this meant was that the minor children would live with me for one week and with him the following week, and this would alternate until the school holidays when we would share the school holidays 50-50. It has never made sense to me because during our marriage, my husband was never available to care for the minor children, and he did not know how to assist with the homework. On top of that, the minor children did not want to be in his primary care during the week.

Seeking assistance from experts

To resolve this issue, my attorney enlisted the assistance of a childcare expert. The expert assessed what would be in the minor children’s best interest regarding care and contact after the divorce. The expert recommended that care and contact be as outlined in my attorney’s parenting plan, as outlined above. The minor children would see the father every day of the week, half the school holidays, special days, and every second weekend.

Father being unhappy with the expert’s recommendations – Approaching the Office of the Family Advocate

The father of the minor children was still unhappy with the expert recommendation. We then approached the Office of the Family Advocate for assistance office. They conducted an investigation and concluded that it would not be in the minor children’s best interest for the father to have primary care over them or for us to have shared care of them as he proposed.

The matter proceeded to Trial

Following the trial in the magistrate’s court, where I presented evidence supporting my position, the judgement was for a shared care regime, a decision I respectfully disagree with. This went against both experts and would not be in the minor children’s best interest.

Appealing the divorce court’s decision to the High Court

My attorney then appealed the decision to the High Court. On appeal, the court followed the recommendations of the childcare expert at the office of all the family advocates. The High Court was not convinced that the magistrate made a fair decision, as clearly, based on the facts I presented, the experts said it would not be in the minor children’s best interest for a shared care regime.

Assistance with an Appeal to the High Court, Supreme Court of Appeal or the Constitutional Court

Should you require assistance with an appeal to the high court, Supreme Court of Appeal, or constitutional court, feel free to contact the firm of Adv. Muhammad Abduroaf.                        

Posted on by Telelaw

Best advice from an advocate on how to Navigate the Narcissistic Maze: Strategies for Dealing with a Narcissist

Dealing with a narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. Narcissistic individuals often display a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. Whether in personal relationships or professional settings, understanding how to navigate interactions with a narcissist is crucial for maintaining one’s well-being. In this article, we will explore effective strategies for dealing with a narcissist while preserving your mental and emotional health.

Recognizing Narcissistic Traits:

The first step in dealing with a narcissist is to recognize the traits that define their behavior. Narcissists often exhibit a sense of entitlement, a preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, and an exploitative attitude towards others. Understanding these characteristics helps individuals avoid falling prey to manipulation and establish healthy boundaries.

Setting Boundaries:

Establishing clear and firm boundaries is essential when dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists tend to push limits, seeking to exploit others for their own gain. It is crucial to define what behavior is acceptable and communicate these boundaries assertively. Consistency is key; maintaining and reinforcing boundaries will discourage manipulative tactics and protect your emotional well-being.

Avoiding Emotional Manipulation:

Narcissists are skilled manipulators who often employ emotional tactics to control those around them. Recognize attempts to guilt-trip, gaslight, or emotionally blackmail you. Stay grounded in your own reality, trust your instincts, and resist being swayed by their attempts to distort the truth. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can provide an objective perspective and strengthen your resilience.

Practicing Self-Care:

Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally exhausting. Prioritize self-care to maintain your mental and emotional well-being. This includes setting aside time for activities you enjoy, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and engaging in activities that promote relaxation. Taking care of your physical health is equally important, as a well-nourished and rested body contributes to emotional resilience.

Maintaining Perspective:

Narcissists often project an image of superiority and infallibility. However, it is crucial to remember that beneath this façade lies deep-seated insecurity. By maintaining perspective and understanding the roots of narcissistic behavior, you can detach emotionally and avoid taking their words and actions personally.

Avoiding Power Struggles:

Narcissists thrive on power dynamics and control. Engaging in power struggles only fuels their need for dominance. Instead, focus on maintaining your own sense of self-worth and refusing to be drawn into their manipulative games. By disengaging from power struggles, you retain control over your emotions and responses.

Utilizing Gray Rock Technique:

The Gray Rock Technique involves becoming as uninteresting and unresponsive as a gray rock, making it less appealing for a narcissist to manipulate or provoke emotional reactions. Responding with neutral, non-emotional answers and avoiding engagement in their drama can diminish their interest in targeting you for manipulation.

Seeking Professional Support:

Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining, and seeking professional support is a proactive step towards maintaining your mental health. Therapists and counselors experienced in narcissistic personality dynamics can provide guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space to process your experiences.

Documenting Interactions:

Maintaining a record of interactions with a narcissist can be valuable, especially in professional or legal settings. Documenting instances of manipulation, gaslighting, or inappropriate behavior can serve as evidence if needed. Keep a factual and objective record to support your case in situations where it becomes necessary.

Knowing When to Walk Away:

In some cases, the most effective strategy for dealing with a narcissist is recognizing when it’s time to walk away. Whether in personal relationships or professional environments, if the toxic dynamics persist and compromise your well-being, prioritizing your mental and emotional health may require severing ties with the narcissist.

Conclusion:

Dealing with a narcissist requires a combination of awareness, assertiveness, and self-care. Recognizing narcissistic traits, setting clear boundaries, and avoiding emotional manipulation are crucial strategies for maintaining your well-being. Practicing self-care, maintaining perspective, and seeking professional support contribute to building resilience in the face of narcissistic behavior. By employing these strategies, individuals can navigate the complexities of interacting with a narcissist while safeguarding their mental and emotional health.

Posted on by Telelaw

Top tips and tricks from a Senior Family Law Advocate on claiming maintenance for a five-year-old child in King William’s Town.

Child Maintenance is the right of the child, and not that of the parent. It is also not a privilege granted to parents who must pay it. It is their duty to pay child maintenance and support their children. Once the child is self-supporting (being able to care for him or herself), the obligation falls away. This can happen when the child is 18, 20, or even 30. It all depends on the circumstances of the case.

Claiming child maintenance for your child in King William’s Town

Whether you claim child maintenance in King William’s Town, or any other city in South Africa, the procedures would be the same. There are however two (2) courts that can deal with child maintenance matters. That is a divorce court, in a divorce matter, and a Child Maintenance Court. For this article, we will focus on claiming maintenance in a Maintenance Court matter in King William’s Town.

The maintenance scenario – King William’s Town South Africa

In this article, we will deal with the following fictitious scenario, in a child maintenance matter:

  1. The Child is seven years old and attends school in King William’s Town
  2. The child is cared for by the mother who works in King William’s Town
  3. The mother works and earns a Salary of R 10 000
  4. The father sees the child every second weekend. He also lives and works in King William’s Town
  5. The child’s monthly expenses are R 6000 – 00 which includes food, clothing, accommodation, education, travel etc.
  6. The father earns a reasonable salary and can afford the R 20 000 – 00 per month
  7. The mother claims R 4 000 – 00 maintenance as the father earns double her salary

What is the first step the mother must take in claiming child maintenance?

The first thing the mother must do is work out exactly what the child costs by item. She breaks down the minor child’s living expenses, starting from rent or accommodation to groceries to school fees etc. Once she has done that, she would need to determine what exactly does the minor child cost per month, seeing that she will be asking the father to contribute towards that. As best as possible, she needs to collect proof of expenses. This can be in the form of receipts.

How does she start the legal process?

The mother now needs to approach the maintenance court in the area where she lives or works to lodge a complaint for child maintenance. If she lives or works in King William’s Town, it would be the maintenance court in King William’s Town. She will complete a Form A wherein she will provide all the expenses for her and the minor child. She would also have to stipulate her income. Once she completed the form and submitted it to the maintenance court, she must then follow the next step.

What do you do while waiting for the maintenance court date?

While you wait to be informed of the court date by the Maintenance Court of King William’s Town, and up until the actual first court date, you need to ensure that you keep a record of all income and expenses for you and the child. This is very important as the court allocates maintenance based on recent income and expenses.

What happens at the first court appearance at the King William’s Town Maintenance Court?

Once you have been notified of the maintenance court date by the King William’s Town Maintenance Court, you need to ensure that you attend it. On that day, both you and the father of the child would appear before a maintenance officer. The maintenance officer would go through both your income and expenses as well as that of the father. If all the relevant information is not before the maintenance court, then the matter may be postponed in order for the parties to submit it.

The maintenance officer will try to settle the matter and have the parents come to an agreement regarding the amount of child maintenance to be paid. If they cannot come to an agreement regarding the child maintenance to be paid, the matter would have to proceed to a formal hearing or trial before a Magistrate.

How does the Maintenance Court hearing or trial work in King William’s Town?

Essentially, the maintenance court is called upon to make a fair ruling regarding what is a fair amount of child support that needs to be paid. For that to happen, the parents would have to give evidence in that regard. The mother would present to the court what the child costs, what she contributes and what she requires the other parent to pay. The Father would have a right to question the mother and to present evidence as to why he cannot afford the amount requested or why he feels it is an unfair amount. The mother can they also question him.

At the end of the day, the King William’s Town Maintenance Court would be able to properly determine what is a fair and adequate amount of child maintenance to pay after being presented will all relevant information. The King William’s Town Maintenance Court should play an active role in determining what is a fair amount of child maintenance the father should pay.

The above child maintenance application principles should apply to the following provinces and cities:

Eastern Cape:

Alice, Butterworth, East London, Graaff-Reinet, Grahamstown, King William’s Town, Mthatha

Port Elizabeth, Queenstown, Uitenhage, Zwelitsha

Free State:

Bethlehem. Bloemfontein, Jagersfontein, Kroonstad, Odendaalsrus, Parys, Phuthaditjhaba, Sasolburg, Virginia, Welkom

Gauteng:

Benoni, Boksburg, Brakpan, Carletonville, Germiston, Johannesburg, Krugersdorp, Pretoria, Randburg, Randfontein, Roodepoort, Soweto, Springs, Vanderbijlpark, Vereeniging

KwaZulu-Natal:

Durban, Empangeni, Ladysmith, Newcastle, Pietermaritzburg, Pinetown, Ulundi, Umlazi

Limpopo:

Giyani, Lebowakgomo, Musina, Phalaborwa, Polokwane, Seshego, Sibasa, Thabazimbi

Mpumalanga:

Emalahleni, Nelspruit, Secunda, North West, Klerksdorp, Mahikeng, Mmabatho, Potchefstroom, Rustenburg, Northern Cape, Kimberley, Kuruman, Port Nolloth

Western Cape:

Bellville, King William’s Town, Constantia, George, Hopefield, Oudtshoorn, Paarl, Simon’s Town, Stellenbosch, Swellendam, Worcester

 

 

 

Posted on by Telelaw

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