Parents with Psychiatric disorders

No parent is perfect. And no one can help it if they suffer from some psychological disorder. However, when it comes to parenting, mental health does play a role regarding the issue of child custody. In other words, a parent with a psychological disorder would find it hard to be a child’s primary care giver, if the child would best be cared for by the other parent. This is assuming that the other parent in this case is capable of caring for the child. This article is connected to the topic Child Custody and Visitation Court Applications. It may be useful to read up on it before proceeding to read further. Otherwise, read on to find out more about parental child abuse and the legal aspects surrounding it.

When should you consult with a lawyer?

Seeing that you are dealing with parental rights and responsibilities, it is best to first try to resolve issues with the other parent. If that does not work, then try mediation. Should that still not work, see a lawyer who would advise you on what would be best for you and your child. If need be, a Court application would have to be launched.

What about a psychological evaluation of a parent?

It often happens that a parent would accuse the other parent of having a mental, or psychiatric problem. The most common psychological condition in our legal practice, in relation to child custody matters, are bo-polar and schizophrenia. These conditions can be managed by medication. However, if the patient fails to use the treatment prescribed, the consequences could be detrimental to parenting. Therefore, one should consider the possibility of the psychological condition manifesting itself in an unfortunate situation. In most cases, the Court would want to hear from medical experts.

An example of psychological disorder in relation to parenting

In one case, a mother has been diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) by a psychiatrist. She had an excessive fear of germs and dirt and the compulsion to repeatedly wash and clean herself, and items she uses, to ward off dirt and germs. She also has a compulsion to avoid possible contaminants in her daily life. For example, she would not touch anything unless she is convinced it is clean. The father of their child was of the view that the mother’s problem detrimentally affected their family daily life, and the well-being of their child. According to him, her condition has caused him to care for the child from when he came from work until when he left to work the next day, as well as the entire weekend.

Prescription medication

The mother used prescription medication for her condition. It was Leximil, which is an anti-depressant, and Zyprexa which is used to treat schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. These medications make her want to sleep during the day and for prolonged periods during the evening. It also made her very lethargic. She cannot wake up to attend to the child during the evening at all as she was in a very deep sleep. She also struggled to get out of bed in the mornings.

Psychotic behavior

The mother further displayed psychotic behaviour in that she tried to stab the father and told him afterwards it was not her in that it was another persona inside of her who was responsible. She also believed that spirits spoke to her and guided her.

The Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Overpowers her

The mother’s condition causes her mind to focus on the OCD and it over powers her and she has a disregard for those surrounding her. She was totally incapable of taking care of the minor child during the day, let alone during the evenings. To give an example, she would wash a used glass for about 30 times with detergents and put it away, and then her mind will tell her it is not clean, and then she will wash it again another 30 times, again with detergents. In the process, she would use a half a bottle of washing liquid. Thereafter, she would go to the bathroom and wash her hands for about 20 minutes. She would soap her hands, wash off the soap and do it again until her mind is satisfied. She utilises about 2 to 4 bars of soap a day. Packaged food would be left to become expired as she would believe it is contaminated.

Neglect of Hygiene

Other than neglecting the minor child when she is busy with her rituals, she would also not want to attend to her as it would cause her to “dirty” herself. For example, if a child had to dirty her dyper, the mother would have to weigh the issues of cleaning the child and dirtying her hands and spending a long period of time washing herself afterwards. She would then just leave the child the way she is and not touch her for fear of contamination. The same would apply to making food, which would mean cleaning afterwards. If an unknown third party touches her child, the mother’s brain would tell her that the child has been contaminated and her clothes and bodies need to be washed immediately.

Wastage by the mother

Furthermore, until the child is washed, no one can touch her. And anything the child touches becomes contaminated in the mind of the Mother and needs to be washed. Another example was when the mother filled up the kettle, and emptying it about 30 times and then be convinced that it is full, boil the water and then start all over again with filling up the kettle and emptying it. She would leave the child to her own demise whilst the OCD’s consumes her. This is very dangerous for the child. She needs to shower a few times a day, which she does for long periods at a time. This would cause her to wash until there is no longer hot water, and then continue washing when the water is hot again. The mother’s OCD therefore causes her to neglect the minor child when in her care and all her focus is on her compulsions. If the OCD becomes too much, she would resort to sleeping and deal with the challenges later. Her entire day would be consumed by the OCD.

How would this affect the father’s rights of custody?

Considering the example above, should the parents separate, there is as strong possibility that the father be made the minor child’s primary care giver. This would be in her best interests.

Sharing is Caring

This and other articles and posts found on this website are written by Adv. Muhammad Abduroaf to assist people with various family law related issues they may have. If you find any of our articles, free resources and posts interesting, or possibly useful to others, please like and share it on Social Media by clicking on the icons below. For more interesting articles and information on Family Law, view our articles and Q&A page. If you have a family law related legal issue and you want someone to answer or reply to it, feel free to post it on our Family Law Blog. Therefore, kindly like and share. Should you require any other legal services and advice, not related to family law, visit Private Legal.    

Parents with Psychiatric disorders

No parent is perfect. And no one can help it if they suffer from some psychological disorder. However, when it comes to parenting, mental health does play a role regarding the issue of child custody. In other words, a parent with a psychological disorder would find it hard to be a child’s primary care giver, if the child would best be cared for by the other parent. This is assuming that the other parent in this case is capable of caring for the child.

This article is connected to the topic Child Custody and Visitation Court Applications. It may be useful to read up on it before proceeding to read further. Otherwise, read on to find out more about parental child abuse and the legal aspects surrounding it.

When should you consult with a lawyer?

Seeing that you are dealing with parental rights and responsibilities, it is best to first try to resolve issues with the other parent. If that does not work, then try mediation. Should that still not work, see a lawyer who would advise you on what would be best for you and your child. If need be, a Court application would have to be launched.

What about a psychological evaluation of a parent?

It often happens that a parent would accuse the other parent of having a mental, or psychiatric problem. The most common psychological condition in our legal practice, in relation to child custody matters, are bo-polar and schizophrenia. These conditions can be managed by medication. However, if the patient fails to use the treatment prescribed, the consequences could be detrimental to parenting. Therefore, one should consider the possibility of the psychological condition manifesting itself in an unfortunate situation. In most cases, the Court would want to hear from medical experts.

An example of psychological disorder in relation to parenting

In one case, a mother has been diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) by a psychiatrist. She had an excessive fear of germs and dirt and the compulsion to repeatedly wash and clean herself, and items she uses, to ward off dirt and germs. She also has a compulsion to avoid possible contaminants in her daily life. For example, she would not touch anything unless she is convinced it is clean.

The father of their child was of the view that the mother’s problem detrimentally affected their family daily life, and the well-being of their child. According to him, her condition has caused him to care for the child from when he came from work until when he left to work the next day, as well as the entire weekend.

Prescription medication

The mother used prescription medication for her condition. It was Leximil, which is an anti-depressant, and Zyprexa which is used to treat schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. These medications make her want to sleep during the day and for prolonged periods during the evening. It also made her very lethargic. She cannot wake up to attend to the child during the evening at all as she was in a very deep sleep. She also struggled to get out of bed in the mornings.

Psychotic behavior

The mother further displayed psychotic behaviour in that she tried to stab the father and told him afterwards it was not her in that it was another persona inside of her who was responsible. She also believed that spirits spoke to her and guided her.

The Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Overpowers her

The mother’s condition causes her mind to focus on the OCD and it over powers her and she has a disregard for those surrounding her. She was totally incapable of taking care of the minor child during the day, let alone during the evenings. To give an example, she would wash a used glass for about 30 times with detergents and put it away, and then her mind will tell her it is not clean, and then she will wash it again another 30 times, again with detergents. In the process, she would use a half a bottle of washing liquid.

Thereafter, she would go to the bathroom and wash her hands for about 20 minutes. She would soap her hands, wash off the soap and do it again until her mind is satisfied. She utilises about 2 to 4 bars of soap a day. Packaged food would be left to become expired as she would believe it is contaminated.

Neglect of Hygiene

Other than neglecting the minor child when she is busy with her rituals, she would also not want to attend to her as it would cause her to “dirty” herself. For example, if a child had to dirty her dyper, the mother would have to weigh the issues of cleaning the child and dirtying her hands and spending a long period of time washing herself afterwards. She would then just leave the child the way she is and not touch her for fear of contamination.

The same would apply to making food, which would mean cleaning afterwards. If an unknown third party touches her child, the mother’s brain would tell her that the child has been contaminated and her clothes and bodies need to be washed immediately.

Wastage by the mother

Furthermore, until the child is washed, no one can touch her. And anything the child touches becomes contaminated in the mind of the Mother and needs to be washed. Another example was when the mother filled up the kettle, and emptying it about 30 times and then be convinced that it is full, boil the water and then start all over again with filling up the kettle and emptying it.

She would leave the child to her own demise whilst the OCD’s consumes her. This is very dangerous for the child. She needs to shower a few times a day, which she does for long periods at a time. This would cause her to wash until there is no longer hot water, and then continue washing when the water is hot again.

The mother’s OCD therefore causes her to neglect the minor child when in her care and all her focus is on her compulsions. If the OCD becomes too much, she would resort to sleeping and deal with the challenges later. Her entire day would be consumed by the OCD.

How would this affect the father’s rights of custody?

Considering the example above, should the parents separate, there is as strong possibility that the father be made the minor child’s primary care giver. This would be in her best interests.

Sharing is Caring

This and other articles and posts found on this website are written by Adv. Muhammad Abduroaf to assist people with various family law related issues they may have. If you find any of our articles, free resources and posts interesting, or possibly useful to others, please like and share it on Social Media by clicking on the icons below. For more interesting articles and information on Family Law, view our articles and Q&A page. If you have a family law related legal issue and you want someone to answer or reply to it, feel free to post it on our Family Law Blog. Therefore, kindly like and share.

Should you require any other legal services and advice, not related to family law, visit Private Legal.

 

 

Related Post

Best advice from an advocate on how to Navigate the Narcissistic Maze: Strategies for Dealing with a Narcissist

Dealing with a narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. Narcissistic individuals often display a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. Whether in personal relationships or professional settings, understanding how to navigate interactions with a narcissist is crucial for maintaining one’s well-being. In this article, we will explore effective strategies for dealing with a narcissist while preserving your mental and emotional health.

Recognizing Narcissistic Traits:

The first step in dealing with a narcissist is to recognize the traits that define their behavior. Narcissists often exhibit a sense of entitlement, a preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, and an exploitative attitude towards others. Understanding these characteristics helps individuals avoid falling prey to manipulation and establish healthy boundaries.

Setting Boundaries:

Establishing clear and firm boundaries is essential when dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists tend to push limits, seeking to exploit others for their own gain. It is crucial to define what behavior is acceptable and communicate these boundaries assertively. Consistency is key; maintaining and reinforcing boundaries will discourage manipulative tactics and protect your emotional well-being.

Avoiding Emotional Manipulation:

Narcissists are skilled manipulators who often employ emotional tactics to control those around them. Recognize attempts to guilt-trip, gaslight, or emotionally blackmail you. Stay grounded in your own reality, trust your instincts, and resist being swayed by their attempts to distort the truth. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can provide an objective perspective and strengthen your resilience.

Practicing Self-Care:

Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally exhausting. Prioritize self-care to maintain your mental and emotional well-being. This includes setting aside time for activities you enjoy, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and engaging in activities that promote relaxation. Taking care of your physical health is equally important, as a well-nourished and rested body contributes to emotional resilience.

Maintaining Perspective:

Narcissists often project an image of superiority and infallibility. However, it is crucial to remember that beneath this façade lies deep-seated insecurity. By maintaining perspective and understanding the roots of narcissistic behavior, you can detach emotionally and avoid taking their words and actions personally.

Avoiding Power Struggles:

Narcissists thrive on power dynamics and control. Engaging in power struggles only fuels their need for dominance. Instead, focus on maintaining your own sense of self-worth and refusing to be drawn into their manipulative games. By disengaging from power struggles, you retain control over your emotions and responses.

Utilizing Gray Rock Technique:

The Gray Rock Technique involves becoming as uninteresting and unresponsive as a gray rock, making it less appealing for a narcissist to manipulate or provoke emotional reactions. Responding with neutral, non-emotional answers and avoiding engagement in their drama can diminish their interest in targeting you for manipulation.

Seeking Professional Support:

Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining, and seeking professional support is a proactive step towards maintaining your mental health. Therapists and counselors experienced in narcissistic personality dynamics can provide guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space to process your experiences.

Documenting Interactions:

Maintaining a record of interactions with a narcissist can be valuable, especially in professional or legal settings. Documenting instances of manipulation, gaslighting, or inappropriate behavior can serve as evidence if needed. Keep a factual and objective record to support your case in situations where it becomes necessary.

Knowing When to Walk Away:

In some cases, the most effective strategy for dealing with a narcissist is recognizing when it’s time to walk away. Whether in personal relationships or professional environments, if the toxic dynamics persist and compromise your well-being, prioritizing your mental and emotional health may require severing ties with the narcissist.

Conclusion:

Dealing with a narcissist requires a combination of awareness, assertiveness, and self-care. Recognizing narcissistic traits, setting clear boundaries, and avoiding emotional manipulation are crucial strategies for maintaining your well-being. Practicing self-care, maintaining perspective, and seeking professional support contribute to building resilience in the face of narcissistic behavior. By employing these strategies, individuals can navigate the complexities of interacting with a narcissist while safeguarding their mental and emotional health.

Top tips and tricks from a Senior Family Law Advocate on claiming maintenance for a five-year-old child in Ulundi.

Child Maintenance is the right of the child, and not that of the parent. It is also not a privilege granted to parents who must pay it. It is their duty to pay child maintenance and support their children. Once the child is self-supporting (being able to care for him or herself), the obligation falls away. This can happen when the child is 18, 20, or even 30. It all depends on the circumstances of the case.

Claiming child maintenance for your child in Ulundi

Whether you claim child maintenance in Ulundi, or any other city in South Africa, the procedures would be the same. There are however two (2) courts that can deal with child maintenance matters. That is a divorce court, in a divorce matter, and a Child Maintenance Court. For this article, we will focus on claiming maintenance in a Maintenance Court matter in Ulundi.

The maintenance scenario – Ulundi South Africa

In this article, we will deal with the following fictitious scenario, in a child maintenance matter:

  1. The Child is seven years old and attends school in Ulundi
  2. The child is cared for by the mother who works in Ulundi
  3. The mother works and earns a Salary of R 10 000
  4. The father sees the child every second weekend. He also lives and works in Ulundi
  5. The child’s monthly expenses are R 6000 – 00 which includes food, clothing, accommodation, education, travel etc.
  6. The father earns a reasonable salary and can afford the R 20 000 – 00 per month
  7. The mother claims R 4 000 – 00 maintenance as the father earns double her salary

What is the first step the mother must take in claiming child maintenance?

The first thing the mother must do is work out exactly what the child costs by item. She breaks down the minor child’s living expenses, starting from rent or accommodation to groceries to school fees etc. Once she has done that, she would need to determine what exactly does the minor child cost per month, seeing that she will be asking the father to contribute towards that. As best as possible, she needs to collect proof of expenses. This can be in the form of receipts.

How does she start the legal process?

The mother now needs to approach the maintenance court in the area where she lives or works to lodge a complaint for child maintenance. If she lives or works in Ulundi, it would be the maintenance court in Ulundi. She will complete a Form A wherein she will provide all the expenses for her and the minor child. She would also have to stipulate her income. Once she completed the form and submitted it to the maintenance court, she must then follow the next step.

What do you do while waiting for the maintenance court date?

While you wait to be informed of the court date by the Maintenance Court of Ulundi, and up until the actual first court date, you need to ensure that you keep a record of all income and expenses for you and the child. This is very important as the court allocates maintenance based on recent income and expenses.

What happens at the first court appearance at the Ulundi Maintenance Court?

Once you have been notified of the maintenance court date by the Ulundi Maintenance Court, you need to ensure that you attend it. On that day, both you and the father of the child would appear before a maintenance officer. The maintenance officer would go through both your income and expenses as well as that of the father. If all the relevant information is not before the maintenance court, then the matter may be postponed in order for the parties to submit it.

The maintenance officer will try to settle the matter and have the parents come to an agreement regarding the amount of child maintenance to be paid. If they cannot come to an agreement regarding the child maintenance to be paid, the matter would have to proceed to a formal hearing or trial before a Magistrate.

How does the Maintenance Court hearing or trial work in Ulundi?

Essentially, the maintenance court is called upon to make a fair ruling regarding what is a fair amount of child support that needs to be paid. For that to happen, the parents would have to give evidence in that regard. The mother would present to the court what the child costs, what she contributes and what she requires the other parent to pay. The Father would have a right to question the mother and to present evidence as to why he cannot afford the amount requested or why he feels it is an unfair amount. The mother can they also question him.

At the end of the day, the Ulundi Maintenance Court would be able to properly determine what is a fair and adequate amount of child maintenance to pay after being presented will all relevant information. The Ulundi Maintenance Court should play an active role in determining what is a fair amount of child maintenance the father should pay.

The above child maintenance application principles should apply to the following provinces and cities:

Eastern Cape:

Alice, Butterworth, East London, Graaff-Reinet, Grahamstown, King William’s Town, Mthatha

Port Elizabeth, Queenstown, Uitenhage, Zwelitsha

Free State:

Bethlehem. Bloemfontein, Jagersfontein, Kroonstad, Odendaalsrus, Parys, Phuthaditjhaba, Sasolburg, Virginia, Welkom

Gauteng:

Benoni, Boksburg, Brakpan, Carletonville, Germiston, Johannesburg, Krugersdorp, Pretoria, Randburg, Randfontein, Roodepoort, Soweto, Springs, Vanderbijlpark, Vereeniging

KwaZulu-Natal:

Durban, Empangeni, Ladysmith, Newcastle, Pietermaritzburg, Pinetown, Ulundi, Umlazi

Limpopo:

Giyani, Lebowakgomo, Musina, Phalaborwa, Polokwane, Seshego, Sibasa, Thabazimbi

Mpumalanga:

Emalahleni, Nelspruit, Secunda, North West, Klerksdorp, Mahikeng, Mmabatho, Potchefstroom, Rustenburg, Northern Cape, Kimberley, Kuruman, Port Nolloth

Western Cape:

Bellville, Ulundi, Constantia, George, Hopefield, Oudtshoorn, Paarl, Simon’s Town, Stellenbosch, Swellendam, Worcester

 

 

 

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