Parents with Mental illnesses in child custody and care matters in South Africa

Biological parents are the ones who have parental responsibilities and rights over their children. Not grandparents, aunts, uncles and so on. Parental responsibilities and rights refer to caring, maintaining and acting as guardian for the child, to mention a few. Mothers automatically have parental responsibilities and rights of care, contact and guardianship, and fathers may either have it or acquire it. This depends on the facts of the case. The obligation to maintain your child however always applies.

Various factors are looked at when deciding what is best for a child

Having said the above, how parents exercise their parental responsibilities and rights would differ from case to case, especially if the parents are not living together. In such a case, various factors and circumstances will be looked at in determining what is best for the child. As would be seen later, in the case of a dispute in relation to how separated and divorced parents should exercise care and contact, expert advice needs to be considered. What this article deals with is how to resolve the issue of parental responsibilities and rights of care and contact when it comes to a parent having a mental illness or disease.

The child’s best interests in all matters concerning a child

We all want what is best for our children. That includes for them being cared for in the best possible way, either by you as a parent, or the other parent if that is best. Having parents who are mentally sound as caregivers are, therefore, an important aspect when it comes to raising a child. Logical and rational caring would take place under the circumstances. Parents would, therefore, communicate in a sensible way with the goal of caring for the child in the best possible way.

Mental illness in a parenting situation

If a couple lives together, and one of them has a mental illness, the other parent would be in a good position to care for the children and the other ill parent. However, problems arise when the parents are separated or no longer living together. The question is what happens to the child if one of the parents are mentally ill or have a mental disease or disorder? It must be stated that not all mental illnesses and diseases warrant consideration when it comes to the issue of care and contact in relation to minor children. If the mental illness or disease is adequately treated through medication and therapy, then it may not be a factor when it comes to parent’s parental responsibilities and rights of care and contact.

Types of mental illnesses and disorders

There are various types of mental illness and diseases. Some of the main groups of mental disorders are:
  • mood disorders (such as depression or bipolar disorder)
  • anxiety disorders
  • personality disorders
  • psychotic disorders (such as schizophrenia)
  • eating disorders
  • trauma-related disorders (such as post-traumatic stress disorder)
  • substance abuse disorders
Examples of signs and symptoms include:
  • Feeling sad or down
  • Confused thinking or reduced ability to concentrate
  • Excessive fears or worries, or extreme feelings of guilt
  • Extreme mood changes of highs and lows
  • Withdrawal from friends and activities
  • Significant tiredness, low energy or problems sleeping
  • Detachment from reality (delusions), paranoia or hallucinations
  • Inability to cope with daily problems or stress
  • Trouble understanding and relating to situations and to people
  • Problems with alcohol or drug use
  • Major changes in eating habits
  • Sex drive changes
  • Excessive anger, hostility or violence
  • Suicidal thinking
  If any of the above-mentioned mental disorders and symptoms thereof would detrimentally affect a parent’s capability to care for a child; then it needs to be considered in a child custody matter. It could, therefore, happen that one parent who had custody over a child, loses it, due to developing or acquiring a mental illness.

How mental illness and diseases may manifest itself in child care and parenting situation

It may be that people with mental illnesses live normal lives as single individuals without any children. They would go to work, partake in sport, and socialize as any other person would. However, when children come into the picture, their mental illness could cause the following to occur:
  • The minor children are not cared for due to one parent having an obsessive-compulsive disorder of always washing his or her hands. They are therefore not fed on time, bathed nor care for properly;
  • A parent is violent and abusive towards the children. He may get angry very fast and act violently;
  • The parent is on strong medication which causes the parent to want to sleep all the time. The minor children are therefore not cared for at all and left to their own devices;
  • The parent lost all form of rationality and makes illogical decisions when it comes to the minor children, placing them in danger. For example, the parent may decide to take the minor children to walk with him or her to the shop late at night when it is dangerous to do so; and
  • The parent may suffer from hallucinations and live in a fantasy world. He or she may be guided on how to parent the minor children from “spirits” who visits and communicates with her.

Diagnoses of mental illness in a parent

It often happens that before a couple has a child, there are no apparent signs of mental illness. It may even happen that the parents of one of the parties knows of some underlying mental illness, but does not want to disclose it to the new person in their child’s life. In other cases, it is well known to all that there is a diagnosis of mental illness which is under control through medication, therapy and so on. And then there is the case where the person with the apparent mental illness does not want to seek any help or is in denial.

What happens after the child is born where one parent has a mental illness?

We are not medical doctors, psychologists, nor psychiatrists. However, in our experience, we noticed, in many of the cases we dealt with, that once a couple has a child, the mother’s medical illness surfaces, or becomes worse. The same may apply to the father. This observation could be because those types of matters make it to our office and should therefore not be a general assumption. However, be that as it may, if one parent has a medical illness that could affect her parenting skills, that needs to be looked at. This is so, even though it is not the parent’s fault that he or she has a mental illness. Now the best-case scenario would be for both parents to remain together if one has a mental disorder when there is a child involved. In that way, the child would be raised with both parents in his or her life and they can work as a team. Depending on the symptoms of the medical disorder, the family can live a balanced and fruitful life.

What happens to the child if the parents separate or divorces?

This is where the issues arise. Should the parents’ divorce or separate, the parties would have to decide who is best suited to care for the minor child or children. If the parent with the mental disorder was the primary caregiver of the minor child since birth, it would be hard to consider a change in primary caregiving. The parent with the mental illness may feel that it would be best that he or she care for the child, despite his or her mental condition. This is where things become very complicated and challenging. On the one hand, you have a parent who always cared for the child, but now has a mental illness, and want to retain primary care. On the other hand, you have a parent who was never the primary caregiver but now wants primary care due to the other parent’s mental condition.

Factors to be considered by the court and experts

Various factors come into play. For example, the age of the children, in whose home they will be living in, and also the mental condition itself. For example, if the child is 16 years old, and the mother has a serious mental illness, for the past 10 years, it would make little sense to change the primary residence of the minor child on that factor alone. By now the child would have learned to care for himself with the assistance the mother provided under the circumstances. On the other hand, if the child is 6 years old, and the mother cannot even take care of herself, then under those circumstances, it may be a good idea if the father primarily cares for the child after separation.

How does one resolve the issue of primary care if one of the parents have a mental condition?

Seeing that the condition is a medical one, mental health care experts need to get on board. An assessment would have to be made as to whether or not the child can be cared for by the relevant parent notwithstanding his or her mental condition. If there is no documentary proof, and such is required for court; the problem that one may encounter is that of doctor-patient confidentiality. This may not always be the case. But especially so if the parents were not married or living together. Usually, medical aid statements would give a timeline of the condition and its treatment. This would apply if the parent with the condition is on the other parent’s medical aid. If the medical practitioner is willing to give a report on the patient’s medical condition, and the inability to care for the minor child; things should be easier to resolve. However, if no such report or diagnosis is forthcoming, then things would be a bit more challenging. Either way, even if you have the report confirming the medical condition, and the issue is not resolved, then the court needs to be approached.

Approaching the court in a child custody matter where one parent has a mental illness

Not all cases of mental illness warrant a child being removed from the care of the primary caregiver. Each case is different and it depends on the facts of each one. However, should the mother had primary care, and she refuses to have the minor child reside with the father due to her mental condition, the court, unfortunately, have to be approached. If the father, in this case, has proof that the mother is mentally unsound and unable to care for the minor child, then the court would have to consider such evidence. This could be a report from the treating doctor or some medical records. The court may however not be in a position to decide how contact and care arrangements should be exercised. For this, the court may want the Office of the Family Advocate or a private social worker or psychologist to conduct an investigation and provide a report in the matter. Once the court has the expert report and heard from both parents concerned, would the court be in a favourable position to rule on what is best for the minor child? It does not mean that because the mother has a mental illness that she should not remain the primary caregiver. As outlined above, various factors would need to be considered. Especially the impact the mental illness would have on her caring ability towards the minor child. We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well. Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links: Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws      
Posted on by Telelaw

Parents with Mental illnesses in child custody and care matters in South Africa

Biological parents are the ones who have parental responsibilities and rights over their children. Not grandparents, aunts, uncles and so on. Parental responsibilities and rights refer to caring, maintaining and acting as guardian for the child, to mention a few. Mothers automatically have parental responsibilities and rights of care, contact and guardianship, and fathers may either have it or acquire it. This depends on the facts of the case. The obligation to maintain your child however always applies.

Various factors are looked at when deciding what is best for a child

Having said the above, how parents exercise their parental responsibilities and rights would differ from case to case, especially if the parents are not living together. In such a case, various factors and circumstances will be looked at in determining what is best for the child. As would be seen later, in the case of a dispute in relation to how separated and divorced parents should exercise care and contact, expert advice needs to be considered. What this article deals with is how to resolve the issue of parental responsibilities and rights of care and contact when it comes to a parent having a mental illness or disease.

The child’s best interests in all matters concerning a child

We all want what is best for our children. That includes for them being cared for in the best possible way, either by you as a parent, or the other parent if that is best. Having parents who are mentally sound as caregivers are, therefore, an important aspect when it comes to raising a child. Logical and rational caring would take place under the circumstances. Parents would, therefore, communicate in a sensible way with the goal of caring for the child in the best possible way.

Mental illness in a parenting situation

If a couple lives together, and one of them has a mental illness, the other parent would be in a good position to care for the children and the other ill parent. However, problems arise when the parents are separated or no longer living together. The question is what happens to the child if one of the parents are mentally ill or have a mental disease or disorder? It must be stated that not all mental illnesses and diseases warrant consideration when it comes to the issue of care and contact in relation to minor children. If the mental illness or disease is adequately treated through medication and therapy, then it may not be a factor when it comes to parent’s parental responsibilities and rights of care and contact.

Types of mental illnesses and disorders

There are various types of mental illness and diseases.

Some of the main groups of mental disorders are:

  • mood disorders (such as depression or bipolar disorder)
  • anxiety disorders
  • personality disorders
  • psychotic disorders (such as schizophrenia)
  • eating disorders
  • trauma-related disorders (such as post-traumatic stress disorder)
  • substance abuse disorders

Examples of signs and symptoms include:

  • Feeling sad or down
  • Confused thinking or reduced ability to concentrate
  • Excessive fears or worries, or extreme feelings of guilt
  • Extreme mood changes of highs and lows
  • Withdrawal from friends and activities
  • Significant tiredness, low energy or problems sleeping
  • Detachment from reality (delusions), paranoia or hallucinations
  • Inability to cope with daily problems or stress
  • Trouble understanding and relating to situations and to people
  • Problems with alcohol or drug use
  • Major changes in eating habits
  • Sex drive changes
  • Excessive anger, hostility or violence
  • Suicidal thinking

 

If any of the above-mentioned mental disorders and symptoms thereof would detrimentally affect a parent’s capability to care for a child; then it needs to be considered in a child custody matter. It could, therefore, happen that one parent who had custody over a child, loses it, due to developing or acquiring a mental illness.

How mental illness and diseases may manifest itself in child care and parenting situation

It may be that people with mental illnesses live normal lives as single individuals without any children. They would go to work, partake in sport, and socialize as any other person would. However, when children come into the picture, their mental illness could cause the following to occur:

  • The minor children are not cared for due to one parent having an obsessive-compulsive disorder of always washing his or her hands. They are therefore not fed on time, bathed nor care for properly;
  • A parent is violent and abusive towards the children. He may get angry very fast and act violently;
  • The parent is on strong medication which causes the parent to want to sleep all the time. The minor children are therefore not cared for at all and left to their own devices;
  • The parent lost all form of rationality and makes illogical decisions when it comes to the minor children, placing them in danger. For example, the parent may decide to take the minor children to walk with him or her to the shop late at night when it is dangerous to do so; and
  • The parent may suffer from hallucinations and live in a fantasy world. He or she may be guided on how to parent the minor children from “spirits” who visits and communicates with her.

Diagnoses of mental illness in a parent

It often happens that before a couple has a child, there are no apparent signs of mental illness. It may even happen that the parents of one of the parties knows of some underlying mental illness, but does not want to disclose it to the new person in their child’s life. In other cases, it is well known to all that there is a diagnosis of mental illness which is under control through medication, therapy and so on. And then there is the case where the person with the apparent mental illness does not want to seek any help or is in denial.

What happens after the child is born where one parent has a mental illness?

We are not medical doctors, psychologists, nor psychiatrists. However, in our experience, we noticed, in many of the cases we dealt with, that once a couple has a child, the mother’s medical illness surfaces, or becomes worse. The same may apply to the father. This observation could be because those types of matters make it to our office and should therefore not be a general assumption. However, be that as it may, if one parent has a medical illness that could affect her parenting skills, that needs to be looked at. This is so, even though it is not the parent’s fault that he or she has a mental illness.

Now the best-case scenario would be for both parents to remain together if one has a mental disorder when there is a child involved. In that way, the child would be raised with both parents in his or her life and they can work as a team. Depending on the symptoms of the medical disorder, the family can live a balanced and fruitful life.

What happens to the child if the parents separate or divorces?

This is where the issues arise. Should the parents’ divorce or separate, the parties would have to decide who is best suited to care for the minor child or children. If the parent with the mental disorder was the primary caregiver of the minor child since birth, it would be hard to consider a change in primary caregiving. The parent with the mental illness may feel that it would be best that he or she care for the child, despite his or her mental condition. This is where things become very complicated and challenging. On the one hand, you have a parent who always cared for the child, but now has a mental illness, and want to retain primary care. On the other hand, you have a parent who was never the primary caregiver but now wants primary care due to the other parent’s mental condition.

Factors to be considered by the court and experts

Various factors come into play. For example, the age of the children, in whose home they will be living in, and also the mental condition itself. For example, if the child is 16 years old, and the mother has a serious mental illness, for the past 10 years, it would make little sense to change the primary residence of the minor child on that factor alone. By now the child would have learned to care for himself with the assistance the mother provided under the circumstances. On the other hand, if the child is 6 years old, and the mother cannot even take care of herself, then under those circumstances, it may be a good idea if the father primarily cares for the child after separation.

How does one resolve the issue of primary care if one of the parents have a mental condition?

Seeing that the condition is a medical one, mental health care experts need to get on board. An assessment would have to be made as to whether or not the child can be cared for by the relevant parent notwithstanding his or her mental condition. If there is no documentary proof, and such is required for court; the problem that one may encounter is that of doctor-patient confidentiality. This may not always be the case. But especially so if the parents were not married or living together. Usually, medical aid statements would give a timeline of the condition and its treatment. This would apply if the parent with the condition is on the other parent’s medical aid.

If the medical practitioner is willing to give a report on the patient’s medical condition, and the inability to care for the minor child; things should be easier to resolve. However, if no such report or diagnosis is forthcoming, then things would be a bit more challenging. Either way, even if you have the report confirming the medical condition, and the issue is not resolved, then the court needs to be approached.

Approaching the court in a child custody matter where one parent has a mental illness

Not all cases of mental illness warrant a child being removed from the care of the primary caregiver. Each case is different and it depends on the facts of each one. However, should the mother had primary care, and she refuses to have the minor child reside with the father due to her mental condition, the court, unfortunately, have to be approached.

If the father, in this case, has proof that the mother is mentally unsound and unable to care for the minor child, then the court would have to consider such evidence. This could be a report from the treating doctor or some medical records. The court may however not be in a position to decide how contact and care arrangements should be exercised. For this, the court may want the Office of the Family Advocate or a private social worker or psychologist to conduct an investigation and provide a report in the matter.

Once the court has the expert report and heard from both parents concerned, would the court be in a favourable position to rule on what is best for the minor child? It does not mean that because the mother has a mental illness that she should not remain the primary caregiver. As outlined above, various factors would need to be considered. Especially the impact the mental illness would have on her caring ability towards the minor child.

We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well.

Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links:

Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws

 

 

 

Related Post

Civil Appeals to the Western Cape High Court

Did you know that if you are not satisfied with a decision in a court matter, you can appeal to the High Court? Someone might appeal a court’s decision for several reasons, typically revolving around the belief that an error was made during the trial or hearing or in the court’s interpretation of the law. Here are the main reasons for appealing a court decision:

Legal Errors

The appellant believes that the trial court made errors in applying or interpreting the law. This could include improperly admitting or excluding evidence or misinterpreting legal principles.

Procedural Errors

There were mistakes in the way the trial was conducted, such as improper procedures that could have affected the outcome. Examples include not following proper courtroom protocol or violating the defendant’s right to a fair trial.

Evidence Issues

The appellant might argue that crucial evidence was wrongly admitted or excluded or that there was insufficient evidence to justify the verdict reached by the magistrate or the judge.

Abuse of Discretion

The trial judge made decisions that are seen as unreasonable or arbitrary, such as unfairly limiting the scope of examination of witnesses or making biased rulings on motions.

New Evidence

New evidence has emerged that could potentially change the outcome of the case. This is more common in criminal cases, where new evidence might show the defendant’s innocence.

Ineffective Assistance of Counsel

In criminal cases, the defendant might argue that their attorney did not provide competent legal representation, thereby affecting the trial’s outcome. Appeals are typically reviewed by a higher court, which examines the record of the proceedings from the lower court to determine if there were significant errors that affected the case’s outcome. If the appellate court finds that errors were indeed made, it might reverse the decision, order a new trial, or modify the lower court’s decision. If no significant errors are found, the original decision is usually upheld.

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How to win your child custody (care) and access (contact) court case – Tips and Tricks

Purchase a Consultation with us from our Online Shop, by clicking here. Legal matters concerning children are never simple. There is no manual that one can pull out for answers. This is so because all matters concerning a child are different. This is where the wisdom of experts becomes of use. What follows are some of the tips and advice-child-maintenance-child-custody-divorcetricks provided by Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf, a family law expert with more than a decade of experience on family law, divorce, child custody and child maintenance matters. Read on to find out some tips and tricks of the trade. Valuable advice is given on what to do through the child custody court process. Visit here for tips and tricks on how to win your child maintenance case. All families are different, with their own dynamics, challenges and issues. A 10-year-old child in one case with living conditions, parents, siblings and mental development would be different than that of another child. All that one has to work with is the concept of a child’s best interests. That is the challenge. How do you determine what is in the child’s best interest? Well luckily, that is for the experts to decide. The Social Worker, Psychologist or Judge would have to make the call. What this article does is provide some tips and tricks on how to present a case that the experts would more than likely follow.

Parental Responsibilities and Rights

Child custody is only one aspect of a parent’s Parental Responsibilities and Rights. There are a few articles written by Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf on the topic of Parental Responsibilities and Rights. A simplified definition would be that Parents have an obligation to look after the child, feed and care for him or her, and the right to have contact and a say over the child’s life. Due to the concept of parental responsibilities and rights being so broad, this article would deal with the term, custody. Please note that a better legal term for custody would be care, and for access would be contact. However, for simplicity, we shall use the terms custody and access to children.

What mistakes parents make

There is a range of mistakes parents makes when dealing with child custody matters. This article deals with the most common mistakes made.

Badmouthing the other parent

When a couple is together, either through marriage, or a romantic relationship, their shortfalls are not an issue. For example, if a father occasionally smokes marijuana, or has shady friends and family, the mother did not have an issue with it when she met him and even had a child with him. However, when they break up, then she has a lot to say about his character. advice-child-maintenance-child-custody-divorceWhere in the past she had no problem with the father taking their child out with his friends, and now she does not want the father to even see the child. If the father is truly a danger to the child, then of course, the factor is relevant. But it would be a waste of time to focus too much on issues you were aware of before the child was conceived, and now make an issue of it.

Saying the father cannot have contact due to not paying adequate or no child support

Child support is the right of the child. And every child should obtain adequate child support from both his or her parents. However, if a parent does not pay child support, that is no reason alone to refuse him contact. Or, should he pay more child support, he would receive more contact. Maybe there are legitimate reasons why he cannot pay child support or the amount the parent wants. Maybe what the mother is claiming is excessive etc. Be that as it may, if a parent does not pay child support, the maintenance court should be approached for assistance. Should a parent refuse the other parent contact to his or her child due to not paying child support, notwithstanding the non-paying parent having parental responsibilities and rights to have contact with that child, the refusing parent is clearly showing a disregard for the law and what is in the minor child’s best interests.

Stop paying child support due to being refused contact

As stated, each parent should maintain their child according to their means. If one parent refused another parent contact; this does not afford you the right to not pay child support. You should not withhold child support, but pay it and approach the relevant court or authority for assistance and relief. This would show that you are a reasonable parent knowing what is in the child’s best interests. This the court would find favourable in your child custody case. Purchase a Consultation with us from our Online Shop, by clicking here.

Only now the father wants to have contact

There are many reasons why a father who did not play an active role in a child’s life in the past can now play such a role. This would generally be in the child’s best interests. Whatever issue the parents had in the past, should not affect the child’s right to form part of his or her parent’s lives. However, this is a very strong pill to swallow. Many a time, a mother cared for a child alone, since birth, rearing her, educating her etc., and fifteen years later, the father wants to come on the scene, and show off to the world what an awesome daughter he has. However, whatever the facts are, if a parent now wants to form part of a child’s life and it would not harm the child and be in his or her best interests, then the law would enforce that right. Therefore, the focus should not be placed on the fact that the father was an absent parent, but more on is his entry in the child’s life and in her best interests.

Other examples of mistakes parents make in child custody cases

There are many examples of mistakes parents make in child custody cases. As each case is different, a trivial factor in one case may be the deciding factor in another case. The trick is, focus on what is best for the child holistically. The judge will only give you so much time to present your case, so use it wisely.

What to focus on in Child Custody Cases

Holding what was stated above, now we need to deal with some tips on how to win your (and not lose) child custody case. Most of it is common sense, but which is often times overlooked.

Outline why you can care for the child better than the other parent

It is very important to focus on your capabilities as a caregiver. Can you care for the child better than the other parent can? You can’t just say so, you need to prove it. And how do you do that? The past is always a good starting point. State how you cared for the child since birth up until now. Demonstrate your parenting skills with how you nursed your child to health, made her get good grades. If you show that you have cared well for your child, the court would not change the primary caregiving roles very easily

Outline the problems that would arise if the court does not follow your custody recommendations

The court is limited to what you tell it. In other words, do not take for granted that the Court knows certain facts. Also, do not think that the court would feel sorry for you or sympathise with you and guess the facts in your favour. If the facts are not stated on record, you cannot presume the court knows it. Therefore, whatever information that is relevant, state it either in your affidavit or in court should you testify.

Get experts to assess and agree with you

The courts most of the time, follow the recommendations of experts. The judge, magistrate, and the attorneys and advocates are lawyers and are only skilled and trained in law. A social worker or psychologist who assessed the matter would come from the right angle and advise the court accordingly. Therefore, try to get the situation assessed by an expert.

Final words on Child Custody Cases

As each child custody case is different, a case by case assessment needs to be made as to what facts are relevant. The focus is on relevance and not on fighting personal battles with the other party. That would get you nowhere. Focus on what is in the child’s best interests and you will win your case.

Have a family Law appointment with us

We have an online appointments system which enables you to save valuable time and cut straight to the chase. There is, therefore, no need for you to visit our offices (unless it is best for you to do so, or is your most preferred option). advice-child-maintenance-child-custody-divorceYou may set up telephonic or video consultations should you wish to do so. You can, therefore, stay in the office or on the couch in the comfort of your own home when dealing with us. We are therefore physical, online, set-up and ready to meet with you. Make your appointment online for a consultation today. If you find any of our articles, free resources and posts interesting, or possibly useful to others, please share it on Social Media. Should you require any other legal services and advice, not related to family law, visit Private Legal. Or click here for the details of Cape Town Advocate, Muhammad Abduroaf. Purchase a Consultation with us from our Online Shop, by clicking here.
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