Parental Alienation in the situation of a divorce or separation – What can a parent do?

Family law becomes challenging when there are children in the equation. If a couple who were not married, broke up, there is not much to squabble about afterward if there were no kids. The same applies to a divorced couple. The only potential issues in such a divorce would be that of the matrimonial property regime and possible personal maintenance. If there are children involved, couples must deal with the issue of child maintenance, care, contact, and guardianship as well. The latter issues are usually the stumbling blocks in a divorce case or post-separation. At the end of the day, in all matters concerning children, the law says that their best interests should be upheld. Now let us look at the issue of parental alienation in the context of child custody disputes.

What is parental alienation?

This article in no means provides a psychological analysis or definition of parental alienation. It deals with the legal relief a parent can seek should parental alienation be perpetrated. On the web, the following definition of parental alienation is provided: “The term parental alienation refers to psychological manipulation of a child, by saying and doing things that lead the child to look unfavorably on one parent or the other. In essence, parental alienation amounts to brainwashing the child, and it can be done both consciously and unconsciously. This is a significant problem in family law cases and something that the courts take very seriously…” We are certain there are many more similar definitions. However, what seems to be clear is that parental alienation deals with a situation where one parent tries to detrimentally affect the relationship a child has with the other parent.

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

Then there is the issue of parental alienation syndrome (PAS). Whatever the definition or consequence of parental alienation is, it is an issue that needs to be addressed from a legal point of view. This article tackles that. This is so as parental alienation negatively affects the relationship between a child and his or her parent. Clearly, that would not be in the child’s best interests.

What should one do if you suspect parental alienation taking place?

Looking at what constitutes parental alienation, a parent who experiences parental alienation would see a change in the child’s behaviour towards that parent. This change could be for various reasons. Some would be obvious and some less so. It would not mean that parental alienation is taking place due to every change in the child’s demeanour towards the affected parent.   Maybe the child is being adversely affected by the separation or continual arguing by the parents and no parental alienation is actually taking place. Therefore, to verify that there is some form of parental alienation, an expert would need to be approached. In this case, we refer to a psychologist or social worker with the necessary experience and training in relation to parental alienation.

How to stop parental alienation?

If a parent is practising parental alienation, by, for example, badmouthing the other parent, undermining the child’s relationship with the other parent, and so on, before approaching the courts, the parents must try to resolve this issue through less harsh means. Parents must try to go for family or parent counselling, or some type of mediation. This would all be based on the fact that an expert already advised that there is parental alienation taking place which adversely affects the minor child. If the latter suggestions and other potential avenues do not work, then, unfortunately, the court would need to be approached.

What can the Court do regarding parental alienation?

If a parent believes that parental alienation is taking place, and the other parent does not want to work towards eradicating it, then, unfortunately, the court would need to be approached for relief. The court would be guided by what the experts have to say. It may happen that the court request the Family Advocate, or the private psychologist to advise on the issue of parental alienation and give the court some guidance on how it can be eradicated. Each case is different and therefore handled differently.   A court may decide that in order to limit parental alienation, the child should have more contact with the affected parent. For example, the affected parent should be the one that takes and collects the child from school. In other cases, the court may decide to reverse the care and contact arrangements already in place. In other words, the child would not reside primarily by the parent who was the victim of parental alienation. The court would be guided by what is best for the minor child involved. As the presiding officer and lawyers involved are not child care experts, they would be greatly guided by those who are. However, the court would have the final say in the matter. We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well. Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links: Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws  

Parental Alienation in the situation of a divorce or separation – What can a parent do?

Family law becomes challenging when there are children in the equation. If a couple who were not married, broke up, there is not much to squabble about afterward if there were no kids. The same applies to a divorced couple. The only potential issues in such a divorce would be that of the matrimonial property regime and possible personal maintenance. If there are children involved, couples must deal with the issue of child maintenance, care, contact, and guardianship as well. The latter issues are usually the stumbling blocks in a divorce case or post-separation. At the end of the day, in all matters concerning children, the law says that their best interests should be upheld. Now let us look at the issue of parental alienation in the context of child custody disputes.

What is parental alienation?

This article in no means provides a psychological analysis or definition of parental alienation. It deals with the legal relief a parent can seek should parental alienation be perpetrated. On the web, the following definition of parental alienation is provided:

“The term parental alienation refers to psychological manipulation of a child, by saying and doing things that lead the child to look unfavorably on one parent or the other. In essence, parental alienation amounts to brainwashing the child, and it can be done both consciously and unconsciously. This is a significant problem in family law cases and something that the courts take very seriously…”

We are certain there are many more similar definitions. However, what seems to be clear is that parental alienation deals with a situation where one parent tries to detrimentally affect the relationship a child has with the other parent.

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

Then there is the issue of parental alienation syndrome (PAS). Whatever the definition or consequence of parental alienation is, it is an issue that needs to be addressed from a legal point of view. This article tackles that. This is so as parental alienation negatively affects the relationship between a child and his or her parent. Clearly, that would not be in the child’s best interests.

What should one do if you suspect parental alienation taking place?

Looking at what constitutes parental alienation, a parent who experiences parental alienation would see a change in the child’s behaviour towards that parent. This change could be for various reasons. Some would be obvious and some less so. It would not mean that parental alienation is taking place due to every change in the child’s demeanour towards the affected parent.

 

Maybe the child is being adversely affected by the separation or continual arguing by the parents and no parental alienation is actually taking place. Therefore, to verify that there is some form of parental alienation, an expert would need to be approached. In this case, we refer to a psychologist or social worker with the necessary experience and training in relation to parental alienation.

How to stop parental alienation?

If a parent is practising parental alienation, by, for example, badmouthing the other parent, undermining the child’s relationship with the other parent, and so on, before approaching the courts, the parents must try to resolve this issue through less harsh means. Parents must try to go for family or parent counselling, or some type of mediation. This would all be based on the fact that an expert already advised that there is parental alienation taking place which adversely affects the minor child. If the latter suggestions and other potential avenues do not work, then, unfortunately, the court would need to be approached.

What can the Court do regarding parental alienation?

If a parent believes that parental alienation is taking place, and the other parent does not want to work towards eradicating it, then, unfortunately, the court would need to be approached for relief. The court would be guided by what the experts have to say. It may happen that the court request the Family Advocate, or the private psychologist to advise on the issue of parental alienation and give the court some guidance on how it can be eradicated. Each case is different and therefore handled differently.

 

A court may decide that in order to limit parental alienation, the child should have more contact with the affected parent. For example, the affected parent should be the one that takes and collects the child from school. In other cases, the court may decide to reverse the care and contact arrangements already in place. In other words, the child would not reside primarily by the parent who was the victim of parental alienation.

The court would be guided by what is best for the minor child involved. As the presiding officer and lawyers involved are not child care experts, they would be greatly guided by those who are. However, the court would have the final say in the matter.

We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well.

Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links:

Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws

 

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Family Law Service – Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf – Finding the best lawyer for you.

Choosing the right law firm (Attorney or Advocate) can be a daunting task in the intricate landscape of legal matters. Whether you’re facing a complex litigation case, navigating corporate law, or seeking legal assistance for personal issues, the decision of which law firm to engage is crucial. At the firm Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf, we understand the significance of this decision, and we aim to demonstrate why choosing our firm can make all the difference.

Expertise and Specialisation

One of the primary reasons for choosing our law firm is our expertise and specialisation in diverse legal areas. As you can see from this website, advocate Muhammad Abduroaf practices in various fields of law. This breadth of expertise ensures that no matter the nature of your legal issue, you will have access to knowledgeable and experienced professionals who can provide tailored solutions.

Personalised Approach

We recognise that every client and every case is unique. That’s why we prioritise a personalised approach to legal representation. From the moment you engage our services, we take the time to understand your specific needs, concerns, and objectives. This allows us to develop strategies and solutions customised to your circumstances, ensuring the best possible outcome for your case.

Commitment to Excellence

At Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf, excellence is not just a goal – it’s our standard. We are committed to providing our clients with the highest quality legal services, characterized by thorough research, meticulous attention to detail, and strategic thinking. Our track record of success speaks for itself, with numerous satisfied clients who have benefited from our dedication to excellence.

Responsive and Accessible

Legal matters can be stressful and overwhelming, so we prioritise responsiveness and accessibility. Our team is readily available to address your questions, concerns, and needs throughout your case. Whether you prefer to communicate via phone, WhatsApp, email, or in-person meetings, we are here to provide you with the support and guidance you need when you need it.

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Legal representation shouldn’t break the bank. That’s why we are committed to providing cost-effective solutions that deliver value for our clients. We offer transparent billing practices and strive to minimise unnecessary expenses wherever possible, ensuring you receive top-notch legal services without the hefty price tag.

Ethical and Professional Conduct

Integrity and ethics are at the core of everything we do. Our team adheres to the highest standards of professional conduct, ensuring your case is handled with the utmost integrity, honesty, and discretion. You can trust that your legal matters will be handled with care and respect, and your confidentiality will always be protected. In conclusion, choosing the right law firm can significantly impact the outcome of your legal matters. At Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf, we offer expertise, specialisation, personalised service, commitment to excellence, responsiveness, cost-effective solutions, and ethical conduct. These qualities set us apart and make us the ideal choice for clients seeking top-notch legal representation. Contact us today to learn how we can assist you with your legal needs. If you require an Advocate Law Firm to assist you in your legal matter, feel free to contact us using the following details:
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We service clients throughout South Africa. These include: Cape Town Rustenburg Kimberley East London Nelspruit Polokwane Pietermaritzburg Bloemfontein Port Elizabeth Pretoria Durban Johannesburg

Top tips from a Senior Family Law Advocate on how to deal with your Child Custody matter in the Mmabatho Children’s Court

 

Family law legal matters can be very stressful. This is so whether you live in Mmabatho or any other city in South Africa. Especially so if you have no idea how the legal processes work. It is one thing to know that you are entitled to child support, but it is a totally different matter to know the law and procedure on how to claim child support. Luckily in child maintenance matters, the maintenance court is there to assist you in completing the application form. However, many times that is not enough. Especially so if the other parent has a lawyer and knows how to present the case for his or her client.

This article, however, deals with some top tips in care and contact or custody matters in the Children’s Court in Mmabatho. It would explain the processes involved and advise on how to be best prepared for your matter. This advice is applicable whether you live in Mmabatho or any other city in South Africa.

What to do before visiting the Mmabatho Children’s Court

Before you approach the Children’s Court in Mmabatho, first try to resolve the issues with the other parent. Therefore, if you want more contact with your child and the other parent is refusing, try to resolve the matter first with that parent. If that does not work, try mediation. The mediator can be anyone, from a trusted mutual friend, priest, or other religious leaders, or a professional like an attorney, psychologist, or the office of the Family Advocate. Mmabatho has many professionals that can assist you in this regard. If resolving the matter by yourselves is not possible, or mediation fails, then we suggest you approach the Mmabatho Children’s Court for assistance.

TIP: Focus on getting someone neutral to assist in mediating your matter. Organisations like FAMSA and FAMAC can be of assistance. Google them.

Approaching the Mmabatho Children’s Court

The Mmabatho Children’s Court should be approached if it is the closest Children’s Court to you. You need to verify with the Mmabatho Children’s Court that you fall under their area of jurisdiction. If not, they would direct you to which Children’s Court is applicable to you.

Once you arrive at the Mmabatho Children’s Court, they will provide you with a form headed “Bringing Matter to Court in Terms of Section 53 Children’s Act, 2005 (Act no. 38 of 2005) Regulation Relating to Children’s Court and International Child Abduction, 2008 [Regulation 6]. This form is also called Form 2.

In this form, you will provide all your particulars and that of the child or children and the other parent. The sections in the form are as follows:

  • PART A: PARTICULARS OF CHILD(REN)
  • PART B: PARTICULARS OF *CHILD WHO IS AFFECTED BY OR INVOLVED IN THE MATTER/PERSON *ACTING IN THE INTEREST OF THE CHILD/*ON BEHALF OF THE CHILD WHO CANNOT ACT IN HIS/HER OWN NAME/ *MEMBER OF A GROUP OF CLASS OF CHILDREN/*IN THE PUBLIC INTEREST (SECTION 53(2)
  • PART C: PARTICULARS OF PERSONS HAVING AN INTEREST IN THE MATTER
  • PART D: PARTICULARS OF MATTER

In part D, the following is stated which you need to provide in the form:

  • Nature of matter brought to Court: (Please give full details of the matter e.g., registration/amendment of parenting plans, removal of child to safe care, children in need of care and protection, placement in youth care centers, adoption etc.
  • Documents: Are there any documents relating to the matter? (If so please attach)

Once you have completed the form and attached the relevant documents to it, you must take it to a commissioner of Oaths to have it commissioned. It does not have to be in Mmabatho.

TIP: Draft a separate affidavit explaining your case. Outline some background information and reasons why the Court should give you what you request. Attach it to Form 2.

Processing your Application at the Mmabatho Children’s Court

Once you complete the Form A and submit it to the Clerk of the Mmabatho Children’s Court, they will process it and allocate it a case number or reference number. The Clerk of the Court would then allocate a date to the matter and advise the parties accordingly when the court date is. Please note that some courts follow a different process for processing the application and informing the parties of the court date. Please enquire from the Court when making the application what process they follow.

TIP: Obtain the contact details of the Court for you to contact them to obtain the Court date or other information. Ask for their contact number and email address.

Appearing in the Mmabatho Children’s Court

When notified of the Court date, both you and the other parent should attend. If you are making use of a lawyer (Advocate or Attorney), inform them timeously of the date. Depending on the Court, you may first see the Clerk or go directly to the Magistrate. The Children’s Court would do its best to try to resolve the matter. If the parents cannot come to an agreement, the Children’s Court may postpone the matter for either of the following:

  • Get a social worker involved in the matter;
  • Appoint a legal representative for the minor child;
  • Implement interim care and contact arrangements;
  • Having the parties attempt to agree on a parenting plan;
  •  

In serious matters, the Court may remove the minor child from both parents and place the child in foster care. The powers of the Children’s Court are extensive. It will, however, focus on what is in the child’s best interests.

TIP: Be as vocal as possible. Do not expect the Court to be understanding of your case or be on your side. It is your duty to explain your case and provide the Court with all the relevant information they require for them to make a fair decision.

Finalising the matter in the Mmabatho Children’s Court

Once the Mmabatho Children’s Court has enough information to make a final decision, it will do so. Depending on the facts of the matter, that could either be making a Parenting Plan, an Order of the Court or a final care and contact Order. The Court may even make further interim orders, where the parties are to return to Court after a few months, or a year later.

TIP: Do not agree to something just because the social worker, a lawyer, or the Court suggest it. You need to be happy with what is decided.

The above Mmabatho Children’s Court Application tips should apply to the following provinces and cities:

Eastern Cape:

Alice, Butterworth, East London, Graaff-Reinet, Grahamstown, King William’s Town, Mthatha

Port Elizabeth, Queenstown, Uitenhage, Zwelitsha

Free State:

Bethlehem. Bloemfontein, Jagersfontein, Kroonstad, Odendaalsrus, Parys, Phuthaditjhaba, Sasolburg, Virginia, Welkom

Gauteng:

Benoni, Boksburg, Brakpan, Carletonville, Germiston, Johannesburg, Krugersdorp, Pretoria, Randburg, Randfontein, Roodepoort, Soweto, Springs, Vanderbijlpark, Vereeniging

KwaZulu-Natal:

Durban, Empangeni, Ladysmith, Newcastle, Pietermaritzburg, Pinetown, Ulundi, Umlazi

Limpopo:

Giyani, Lebowakgomo, Musina, Phalaborwa, Polokwane, Seshego, Sibasa, Thabazimbi

Mpumalanga:

Emalahleni, Nelspruit, Secunda, North West, Klerksdorp, Mahikeng, Mmabatho, Potchefstroom, Rustenburg, Northern Cape, Kimberley, Kuruman, Port Nolloth

Western Cape:

Bellville, Mmabatho, Constantia, George, Hopefield, Oudtshoorn, Paarl, Simon’s Town, Stellenbosch, Swellendam, Worcester

Most family law matters come with heightened emotions and stress. It, however, does not always have to be that way. Staying focused and rational is important to get the best results.

Many legal practitioners will tell you, the one aspect of family law, that differentiates it from other branches of law, is the emotions that it brings to their clients. It would often happen that a client breaks down, or sheds a tear in your office. This is understandable, as family law issues have a lot of history behind it. Even simple family law legal matters, for example, the terms of an antenuptial contract, can stir emotion. The lawyer under such cases has to act as a mediator, pacifier and legal advisor at the same time.

Types of family law matters that cause heightened emotions and anxiety

Before we delve into this topic, let us first bring things into perspective. These are some of the family law matters we are referring to:
  • Divorces (Contested or Undefended);
  • Domestic Violence matters;
  • Child maintenance disputes; and
  • Child custody disputes.
The actual list is more extensive. You may even want to consider including last wills and testaments and winding up of deceased estates. As can be seen from the types of matters mentioned, there are always children involved or personal relationships. Some of these relationships have lasted for decades. We often see people who were married for more than 30 years, getting divorced. And in other cases, the relationship, albeit personal, could have been for a very short while, but still, elicit a lot of emotions. For example, a domestic violence family legal matter.

The personal nature of family matters makes it harder to deal with

One of the challenges for a legal practitioner is to try to convince the client that he or she should trust the law, and not focus too much on the other party. For example, in a divorce matter, where a spouse has been abused or constantly been bullied during the relationship. The abused spouse would very often agree to sign away everything just to get divorced speedily. This is not only unfair but could lead to many issues in the future. This situation must be avoided at all costs.

Intimidation in abusive relationships

Then we have the challenge in a domestic violence matter. A party who has been abused would agree on withdrawing an application for a protection order, even though it is dangerous to do so. Or there is the situation where a party would agree that a protection order is issued against them due to being intimidated either by the other party or by his or her lawyer. This they do not do because of having committed domestic violence, but just to get the matter over and done with. The consequence of that is the applying party would have an interdict and a warrant of arrest against you which may be abused.

Intimidation in child maintenance or alimony cases

We cannot count the number of times we have been told that the reason why a parent does not want to approach the maintenance court, is due to being told by the other parent that he or she will get much less than what they are currently receiving. This is emotional and psychological abuse and not in the child’s best interest. One reason for believing the abuser is due to the relationship the parties had. The abuser was controlling and abusive during the relationship, and the victim has been brainwashed into believing everything the abuser said.

What people must try to understand in family legal matters?

Although it is understandable for someone to be anxious when dealing with family law related matters, it is important to note that issues need to be dealt with properly. If your spouse was abusive during your relationship, that does not mean it has to continue after your relationship ended. There are laws in place to protect people from abuse and violence. For example, the Domestic Violence Act. If you make use of the law, you would have a better chance of getting the legal results you want. Go to the police if necessary.

Final words to people who are intimidated by, or is afraid of the other party

Although it is easier said than done, we implore people not to allow themselves to be bullied when it comes to family law matters. This includes being intimidated by the other party, or his or her lawyer. If you have rights; enforce them. Believe in yourself and your cause and others will learn to respect it. Many cases are won by unrepresented litigants who were up against a team of lawyers. Moreover, no one has the right to belittle you or deny you of your rights. Take a stand and fight for what is right.
We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well. Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links: Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws  

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