Parental Alienation in the situation of a divorce or separation – What can a parent do?

Family law becomes challenging when there are children in the equation. If a couple who were not married, broke up, there is not much to squabble about afterward if there were no kids. The same applies to a divorced couple. The only potential issues in such a divorce would be that of the matrimonial property regime and possible personal maintenance. If there are children involved, couples must deal with the issue of child maintenance, care, contact, and guardianship as well. The latter issues are usually the stumbling blocks in a divorce case or post-separation. At the end of the day, in all matters concerning children, the law says that their best interests should be upheld. Now let us look at the issue of parental alienation in the context of child custody disputes.

What is parental alienation?

This article in no means provides a psychological analysis or definition of parental alienation. It deals with the legal relief a parent can seek should parental alienation be perpetrated. On the web, the following definition of parental alienation is provided: “The term parental alienation refers to psychological manipulation of a child, by saying and doing things that lead the child to look unfavorably on one parent or the other. In essence, parental alienation amounts to brainwashing the child, and it can be done both consciously and unconsciously. This is a significant problem in family law cases and something that the courts take very seriously…” We are certain there are many more similar definitions. However, what seems to be clear is that parental alienation deals with a situation where one parent tries to detrimentally affect the relationship a child has with the other parent.

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

Then there is the issue of parental alienation syndrome (PAS). Whatever the definition or consequence of parental alienation is, it is an issue that needs to be addressed from a legal point of view. This article tackles that. This is so as parental alienation negatively affects the relationship between a child and his or her parent. Clearly, that would not be in the child’s best interests.

What should one do if you suspect parental alienation taking place?

Looking at what constitutes parental alienation, a parent who experiences parental alienation would see a change in the child’s behaviour towards that parent. This change could be for various reasons. Some would be obvious and some less so. It would not mean that parental alienation is taking place due to every change in the child’s demeanour towards the affected parent. Maybe the child is being adversely affected by the separation or continual arguing by the parents and no parental alienation is actually taking place. Therefore, to verify that there is some form of parental alienation, an expert would need to be approached. In this case, we refer to a psychologist or social worker with the necessary experience and training in relation to parental alienation.

How to stop parental alienation?

If a parent is practising parental alienation, by, for example, badmouthing the other parent, undermining the child’s relationship with the other parent, and so on, before approaching the courts, the parents must try to resolve this issue through less harsh means. Parents must try to go for family or parent counselling, or some type of mediation. This would all be based on the fact that an expert already advised that there is parental alienation taking place which adversely affects the minor child. If the latter suggestions and other potential avenues do not work, then, unfortunately, the court would need to be approached.

What can the Court do regarding parental alienation?

If a parent believes that parental alienation is taking place, and the other parent does not want to work towards eradicating it, then, unfortunately, the court would need to be approached for relief. The court would be guided by what the experts have to say. It may happen that the court request the Family Advocate, or the private psychologist to advise on the issue of parental alienation and give the court some guidance on how it can be eradicated. Each case is different and therefore handled differently. A court may decide that in order to limit parental alienation, the child should have more contact with the affected parent. For example, the affected parent should be the one that takes and collects the child from school. In other cases, the court may decide to reverse the care and contact arrangements already in place. In other words, the child would not reside primarily by the parent who was the victim of parental alienation.

The court would be guided by what is best for the minor child involved. As the presiding officer and lawyers involved are not child care experts, they would be greatly guided by those who are. However, the court would have the final say in the matter. We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well. Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links: Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws

Posted on 11 February 2025 by Telelaw

Parental Alienation in the situation of a divorce or separation – What can a parent do?

Family law becomes challenging when there are children in the equation. If a couple who were not married, broke up, there is not much to squabble about afterward if there were no kids. The same applies to a divorced couple. The only potential issues in such a divorce would be that of the matrimonial property regime and possible personal maintenance. If there are children involved, couples must deal with the issue of child maintenance, care, contact, and guardianship as well. The latter issues are usually the stumbling blocks in a divorce case or post-separation. At the end of the day, in all matters concerning children, the law says that their best interests should be upheld. Now let us look at the issue of parental alienation in the context of child custody disputes.

What is parental alienation?

This article in no means provides a psychological analysis or definition of parental alienation. It deals with the legal relief a parent can seek should parental alienation be perpetrated. On the web, the following definition of parental alienation is provided:

“The term parental alienation refers to psychological manipulation of a child, by saying and doing things that lead the child to look unfavorably on one parent or the other. In essence, parental alienation amounts to brainwashing the child, and it can be done both consciously and unconsciously. This is a significant problem in family law cases and something that the courts take very seriously…”

We are certain there are many more similar definitions. However, what seems to be clear is that parental alienation deals with a situation where one parent tries to detrimentally affect the relationship a child has with the other parent.

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

Then there is the issue of parental alienation syndrome (PAS). Whatever the definition or consequence of parental alienation is, it is an issue that needs to be addressed from a legal point of view. This article tackles that. This is so as parental alienation negatively affects the relationship between a child and his or her parent. Clearly, that would not be in the child’s best interests.

What should one do if you suspect parental alienation taking place?

Looking at what constitutes parental alienation, a parent who experiences parental alienation would see a change in the child’s behaviour towards that parent. This change could be for various reasons. Some would be obvious and some less so. It would not mean that parental alienation is taking place due to every change in the child’s demeanour towards the affected parent.

Maybe the child is being adversely affected by the separation or continual arguing by the parents and no parental alienation is actually taking place. Therefore, to verify that there is some form of parental alienation, an expert would need to be approached. In this case, we refer to a psychologist or social worker with the necessary experience and training in relation to parental alienation.

How to stop parental alienation?

If a parent is practising parental alienation, by, for example, badmouthing the other parent, undermining the child’s relationship with the other parent, and so on, before approaching the courts, the parents must try to resolve this issue through less harsh means. Parents must try to go for family or parent counselling, or some type of mediation. This would all be based on the fact that an expert already advised that there is parental alienation taking place which adversely affects the minor child. If the latter suggestions and other potential avenues do not work, then, unfortunately, the court would need to be approached.

What can the Court do regarding parental alienation?

If a parent believes that parental alienation is taking place, and the other parent does not want to work towards eradicating it, then, unfortunately, the court would need to be approached for relief. The court would be guided by what the experts have to say. It may happen that the court request the Family Advocate, or the private psychologist to advise on the issue of parental alienation and give the court some guidance on how it can be eradicated. Each case is different and therefore handled differently.

A court may decide that in order to limit parental alienation, the child should have more contact with the affected parent. For example, the affected parent should be the one that takes and collects the child from school. In other cases, the court may decide to reverse the care and contact arrangements already in place. In other words, the child would not reside primarily by the parent who was the victim of parental alienation.

The court would be guided by what is best for the minor child involved. As the presiding officer and lawyers involved are not child care experts, they would be greatly guided by those who are. However, the court would have the final say in the matter.

We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well.

Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links:

Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws

Do you own Divorce (DIY) No lawyers needed!
If you want to get divorced from your spouse, I strongly advise that your approach a legal practitioner, or an attorney to attend to it on your behalf. This I would implore even more under the following circumstances:
There will be a dispute over care and visitation rights over the child/children
One of the parties will be applying for forfeiture of patrimonial benefits from a marriage in community of property;
The joint estate is huge or complicated; or
The other party will be making use of legal representation.
If, however, you would like to know the general procedures on how to go about a divorce, they are listed summarily below. There are many rules that regulate divorce processes and the summary below does exclude certain of them. These include exceptions, strikeouts, compelling compliance, service addresses etc. Other matters incidental to divorce proceedings, e.g. interim arrangements, pending the divorce regarding maintenance for you or your children and care and contact regarding children are not dealt with. Therefore, please consult a legal practitioner or the divorce court throughout your divorce process should you decide to do the divorce yourself.

Summons and Particulars of Claim

A summons needs to be drafted which will be issued by the divorce court to commence the divorce process. It should have on it the details of the court you will be issuing divorce, details of the parties, e.g. names, occupation, and address etc. Every High Court in the area where you live has the authority to attend to a divorce. There are however specialized divorce courts that may attend to a divorce as well. You should then draft particulars of claim, outlining relevant matters concerning the marriage, children, reasons for wanting a divorce and what do you want the court to grant you in a divorce order. These particulars of claim you attach to the summons. Here is an example of a summons and particulars of claim for a divorce for a couple married in community of property with no children getting a divorce in the High Court in Cape Town.

Summons

IN THE HIGH COURT OF South Africa CASE NO.: (Western Cape High Court, Cape Town) In the matter between: John Smith (Plaintiff) And Jane Smith (Defendant) To the Sheriff or his/her Deputy INFORM Jane Smith (hereinafter referred to as the defendant an adult female, self-employed as a singer currently residing at 12 Club Road, Waterfront, Western Cape and whose full and further particulars are unknown, That: John Smith (hereafter referred to as the plaintiff), an adult male self-employed painter residing at Garden Road, Cape Town, Western Cape, Hereby institutes an action against her in which action the Plaintiff claims the relief and on the grounds set out in the particulars annexed hereto marked A. INFORM the Defendant further that if she disputes the claim and wishes to defend the action she shall (a) within 10 (TEN) days after the service upon her of this Summons, file with the Registrar of this Court at Kieron Street, Cape Town a notice of her intention to defend, and serve a copy thereof on the Plaintiff, on which notice shall be given an address (not being a post office or poste restante) referred to in Rule 19(3) for the service upon the Defendant of all notices and documents in the action; and (b) thereafter, and within 21 (TWENTY-ONE) court days after the filing and serving such notice of intention to defend as aforesaid, file with the Registrar and serve upon the Plaintiff a Plea, Exception, Notice to strike out, with or without a counterclaim. INFORM the Defendant further that if she fails to file and serve notice as aforesaid, judgment as claimed may be given against her without further notice to her, or if having filed and served such notice, she fails to plead, except, make application to strike out or counterclaim, judgment may be given against her. INFORM the Defendant also that if she does not intend to defend the action, she will inform the Registrar in writing to enable the Registrar to, on request in writing from Plaintiff, immediately set the matter down for hearing. AND IMMEDIATELY THEREAFTER serve on the Defendant a copy of this Summons and return same with whatsoever you have done thereupon. DATED AT CAPE TOWN ON THIS ____ THE DAY OF _________2018. ……………………………………………………………… REGISTRAR OF THE HIGH COURT ……………………………………………………………… Plaintiff in Person __________________________

Particulars of Claim “A”

(A) Parties Plaintiff is John Smith, an adult male Bus Driver, residing at no. 5 Truck Apartments, Cape Town, Western Cape. The defendant is Jane Smith (born Smit) an adult female, employed as a hairdresser, residing at Hectic House, 2 Main Road, Strand, Western Cape.

(B) Marriage

Plaintiff and Defendant (hereafter referred to together as “the Parties”) married each other on 10 August 2003 at Pretoria, in community of property and the marriage still subsists. Kindly find attached hereto a copy of the marriage certificate marked “MC”. The Parties are domiciled within the area of jurisdiction of this honourable court. There are no children born out of the marriage.

(C) Irretrievable breakdown

The marriage between the Parties has irretrievably broken down and there are no reasonable prospects of the restoration of a normal marital relationship between them in that: Defendant left the common home approximately 2 years ago; There is no love and affection, understanding and communication between the parties; The Parties are incompatible and continue arguing; and Plaintiff has a gambling problem.

(D) Prayer

WHEREFORE Plaintiff prays for Judgement against Defendant in the following terms: A decree of divorce; Each party retain the property in his or her possession as his or her sole property; Cost if this action is opposed; and Further and/ or alternative relief. DATED AT CAPE TOWN ON THIS THE ______ DAY OF______ 2018. _____________________________ Per: John Smith (Plaintiff in Person) Service Address Once you have your summons and particulars of claim in order, make three (3) copies of your set of documents and have it issued at court.

Issuing & Service of Summons

Once you are at the court, go to the clerk of the court and have your documents issued. The clerk will sign the summons and provide a case number and write it on the summons. You should then take the original and a copy (both must be signed and stamped by the clerk of the court) and take it to the sheriff which serves documents where your spouse works of lives. You can ask the clerk of the court for that details. The extra—copy of the summons & particulars of claim you keep for your file and records.

Notice of intention to defend

Once the sheriff has served the documents, your spouse has a defined period to inform your whether he or she will be defending the divorce. This information is outlined in the summons as shown above.

Plea to particulars of claim

Once you received notice of your spouse’s intention to defend the divorce, about a months later, your spouse or their attorney will serve and file a plea. The plea will outline which parts of your particulars of claim your spouse agrees (or disagree) with which would give a direction of what to prove in court.

Counter Claim

Your spouse might want to file a counterclaim. In the same way, which you outlined your case as to what you want from the court and the reasons therefore in your particulars of claim, your spouse can file on your as well a counterclaim. A counterclaim might still be filed if your spouse agrees to a divorce, by maybe wants care of the children, but in your particulars of claim, you asked for care. You should then within 10 (ten) days plead to the counterclaim the same manner in which your spouse pleaded to your particulars of claim.

Obtaining a Trial date

Once you received the plea, without a counterclaim, or have pleaded to your spouse’s counterclaim, you should then approach the clerk of the court for a trial date. This you or your spouse may do.

Discovery

While you waiting for a trial date, and way before the trial, you may ask or may be asked to provide, under oath, a schedule of books and documents in your possession and under your control relating to the divorce. This could be policy documents, deeds etc, and which you or your spouse might want to make use of at trial. Once you received this schedule you may inspect and request copies of the documents.

Divorce day / Trial

If your spouse does not defend the divorce within the time period, go back to court and ask for an unopposed divorce date and attend to your divorce on that date. If, however, your divorce is defended, a trial will ensure. During the trial, each party will prove his or her case. Witnesses will be called and at the end, the Magistrate or Judge will deliver the verdict. Best of luck, and please, don’t take my word, contact a legal practitioner should you decide to get divorced.

Sharing is Caring

This and other articles and posts found on this website are written by Adv. Muhammad Abduroaf to assist people with various family law related issues they may have. If you find any of our articles, free resources and posts interesting, or possibly useful to others, please like and share it on Social Media by clicking on the icons below. For more interesting articles and information on Family Law, view our articles and Q&A page. If you have a family law related legal issue and you want someone to answer or reply to it, feel free to post it on our Family Law Blog. Therefore, kindly like and share. Should you require any other legal services and advice, not related to family law, visit Private Legal.

Posted on 11 February 2025 by Telelaw