Parental Alienation in the situation of a divorce or separation – What can a parent do?

Family law becomes challenging when there are children in the equation. If a couple who were not married, broke up, there is not much to squabble about afterward if there were no kids. The same applies to a divorced couple. The only potential issues in such a divorce would be that of the matrimonial property regime and possible personal maintenance. If there are children involved, couples must deal with the issue of child maintenance, care, contact, and guardianship as well. The latter issues are usually the stumbling blocks in a divorce case or post-separation. At the end of the day, in all matters concerning children, the law says that their best interests should be upheld. Now let us look at the issue of parental alienation in the context of child custody disputes.

What is parental alienation?

This article in no means provides a psychological analysis or definition of parental alienation. It deals with the legal relief a parent can seek should parental alienation be perpetrated. On the web, the following definition of parental alienation is provided: “The term parental alienation refers to psychological manipulation of a child, by saying and doing things that lead the child to look unfavorably on one parent or the other. In essence, parental alienation amounts to brainwashing the child, and it can be done both consciously and unconsciously. This is a significant problem in family law cases and something that the courts take very seriously…” We are certain there are many more similar definitions. However, what seems to be clear is that parental alienation deals with a situation where one parent tries to detrimentally affect the relationship a child has with the other parent.

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

Then there is the issue of parental alienation syndrome (PAS). Whatever the definition or consequence of parental alienation is, it is an issue that needs to be addressed from a legal point of view. This article tackles that. This is so as parental alienation negatively affects the relationship between a child and his or her parent. Clearly, that would not be in the child’s best interests.

What should one do if you suspect parental alienation taking place?

Looking at what constitutes parental alienation, a parent who experiences parental alienation would see a change in the child’s behaviour towards that parent. This change could be for various reasons. Some would be obvious and some less so. It would not mean that parental alienation is taking place due to every change in the child’s demeanour towards the affected parent. Maybe the child is being adversely affected by the separation or continual arguing by the parents and no parental alienation is actually taking place. Therefore, to verify that there is some form of parental alienation, an expert would need to be approached. In this case, we refer to a psychologist or social worker with the necessary experience and training in relation to parental alienation.

How to stop parental alienation?

If a parent is practising parental alienation, by, for example, badmouthing the other parent, undermining the child’s relationship with the other parent, and so on, before approaching the courts, the parents must try to resolve this issue through less harsh means. Parents must try to go for family or parent counselling, or some type of mediation. This would all be based on the fact that an expert already advised that there is parental alienation taking place which adversely affects the minor child. If the latter suggestions and other potential avenues do not work, then, unfortunately, the court would need to be approached.

What can the Court do regarding parental alienation?

If a parent believes that parental alienation is taking place, and the other parent does not want to work towards eradicating it, then, unfortunately, the court would need to be approached for relief. The court would be guided by what the experts have to say. It may happen that the court request the Family Advocate, or the private psychologist to advise on the issue of parental alienation and give the court some guidance on how it can be eradicated. Each case is different and therefore handled differently. A court may decide that in order to limit parental alienation, the child should have more contact with the affected parent. For example, the affected parent should be the one that takes and collects the child from school. In other cases, the court may decide to reverse the care and contact arrangements already in place. In other words, the child would not reside primarily by the parent who was the victim of parental alienation.

The court would be guided by what is best for the minor child involved. As the presiding officer and lawyers involved are not child care experts, they would be greatly guided by those who are. However, the court would have the final say in the matter. We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well. Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links: Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws

Posted on 11 February 2025 by Telelaw

Parental Alienation in the situation of a divorce or separation – What can a parent do?

Family law becomes challenging when there are children in the equation. If a couple who were not married, broke up, there is not much to squabble about afterward if there were no kids. The same applies to a divorced couple. The only potential issues in such a divorce would be that of the matrimonial property regime and possible personal maintenance. If there are children involved, couples must deal with the issue of child maintenance, care, contact, and guardianship as well. The latter issues are usually the stumbling blocks in a divorce case or post-separation. At the end of the day, in all matters concerning children, the law says that their best interests should be upheld. Now let us look at the issue of parental alienation in the context of child custody disputes.

What is parental alienation?

This article in no means provides a psychological analysis or definition of parental alienation. It deals with the legal relief a parent can seek should parental alienation be perpetrated. On the web, the following definition of parental alienation is provided:

“The term parental alienation refers to psychological manipulation of a child, by saying and doing things that lead the child to look unfavorably on one parent or the other. In essence, parental alienation amounts to brainwashing the child, and it can be done both consciously and unconsciously. This is a significant problem in family law cases and something that the courts take very seriously…”

We are certain there are many more similar definitions. However, what seems to be clear is that parental alienation deals with a situation where one parent tries to detrimentally affect the relationship a child has with the other parent.

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)

Then there is the issue of parental alienation syndrome (PAS). Whatever the definition or consequence of parental alienation is, it is an issue that needs to be addressed from a legal point of view. This article tackles that. This is so as parental alienation negatively affects the relationship between a child and his or her parent. Clearly, that would not be in the child’s best interests.

What should one do if you suspect parental alienation taking place?

Looking at what constitutes parental alienation, a parent who experiences parental alienation would see a change in the child’s behaviour towards that parent. This change could be for various reasons. Some would be obvious and some less so. It would not mean that parental alienation is taking place due to every change in the child’s demeanour towards the affected parent.

Maybe the child is being adversely affected by the separation or continual arguing by the parents and no parental alienation is actually taking place. Therefore, to verify that there is some form of parental alienation, an expert would need to be approached. In this case, we refer to a psychologist or social worker with the necessary experience and training in relation to parental alienation.

How to stop parental alienation?

If a parent is practising parental alienation, by, for example, badmouthing the other parent, undermining the child’s relationship with the other parent, and so on, before approaching the courts, the parents must try to resolve this issue through less harsh means. Parents must try to go for family or parent counselling, or some type of mediation. This would all be based on the fact that an expert already advised that there is parental alienation taking place which adversely affects the minor child. If the latter suggestions and other potential avenues do not work, then, unfortunately, the court would need to be approached.

What can the Court do regarding parental alienation?

If a parent believes that parental alienation is taking place, and the other parent does not want to work towards eradicating it, then, unfortunately, the court would need to be approached for relief. The court would be guided by what the experts have to say. It may happen that the court request the Family Advocate, or the private psychologist to advise on the issue of parental alienation and give the court some guidance on how it can be eradicated. Each case is different and therefore handled differently.

A court may decide that in order to limit parental alienation, the child should have more contact with the affected parent. For example, the affected parent should be the one that takes and collects the child from school. In other cases, the court may decide to reverse the care and contact arrangements already in place. In other words, the child would not reside primarily by the parent who was the victim of parental alienation.

The court would be guided by what is best for the minor child involved. As the presiding officer and lawyers involved are not child care experts, they would be greatly guided by those who are. However, the court would have the final say in the matter.

We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well.

Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links:

Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws

Relocation with my minor child to Germany, Berlin (Consent and Refusal) – Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf
The world is becoming a much smaller place, and technology plays a huge role. People are moving across the world for employment, love and happiness, something that was not the norm a few decades ago. There is no reason why you should remain in South Africa if you can find a better life for yourself and your family overseas. Moving overseas may provide you with the quality of life you want or the possibility of experiencing things you always wanted. The same applies to your child or children relocating with you.
Relocation of your minor child to Berlin, Germany
If you are single and do not have any minor children, then moving around the world would not be too complicated. All you need to do is ensure that you have the necessary travel documentation and travel ticket (and spending money), and off you go. However, if you want to travel with your minor children (for example, ages one or two) or relocate to another country, things may not be that simple. Firstly, if there is another parent, and he or she has parental responsibilities and rights, then his or her consent is required. For example, let us say you live in Simon’s Town or Phalaborwa, South Africa, and you want to relocate to Berlin, Germany, you would require the other parent’s consent to leave South Africa with your minor child. This can cause challenges, especially if the staying parent (in South Africa) does not agree to the relocation.
What about Passport Consent to travel or relocate to Berlin, Germany?
The same applies when it comes to your minor child applying for a South African passport to relocate to Germany, or any country. Both parents who have parental responsibilities and rights of guardianship will have to consent to the minor child’s passport application as well. In this regard, both parents have to be at the Department of Home Affairs (or the relevant bank that also assists with passport application) when making the Application with the minor child. This can be challenging if you have a disinterested parent who does not want to cooperate with the passport application. As you will see later, legal action would need to be taken.
What are the steps to follow when I want to relocate to Berlin, Germany with my minor child? There is there another parent.
To simplify the process for relocation, the first step would be to receive the other parent’s consent in principle for the relocation and that he or she will co-operate in this regard. Once that has been resolved, the parent relocating would need to make the appointment for the minor child’s passport application as well as the application for the relevant VISA. Each country has different requirements; however, seeing that it is a relocation, you need to apply for the correct VISA. For that, you need the Passport. Once the visa and travel arrangements have been finalised, the parent remaining behind will sign a parental consent letter for the international travel. That letter can be found on the Department of Home Affairs website. Basically, the parent remaining behind would state that he or she gives consent for the minor child to leave the Republic of South Africa and travel and/or relocate to Berlin, Germany.
What can I do if the other parent does not want to consent to the minor child’s relocation to Berlin, Germany?
If the parent remaining in South Africa does not want to consent to the minor child’s passport application and/or his or her relocation to Berlin, Germany, then you would need to approach the Court. The Court, as upper guardian of the minor child, may order that the parent’s consent for the passport application and relocation be dispensed with. What this entails is submitting Court documents explaining why you want to relocate to Berlin, Germany. The other parent would also have an opportunity to give reasons why he or she objects. At the end of the process, the Court would determine what is in the minor child’s best interests. If it is in the minor child’s best interests to relocate to Berlin, Germany, the Court would make it possible despite the issue of consent or refusal.
What is the first step I should take if the other parent does not want to consent to the minor child’s passport application and/or relocation to Berlin, Germany?
If the other parent does not want to consent to the passport application and/or the relocation of the minor child to Berlin, Germany – in that case, we suggest you approach an attorney or advocate (trust account) to assist you with the legal process. He or she would then contact the other parent explaining the reasons for the relocation and request the necessary consent. If the parent remaining in South Africa does still not agree to the passport application and/or to the relocation to Berlin, Germany, then the attorney or advocate will proceed to take the matter to court. The legal route can be expensive. However, it is necessary to make the relocation of the minor child possible. You may also attend to the legal process yourself.
Getting legal assistance or help with your relocation application to Berlin, Germany
If you require legal assistance or representation with relocating to Berlin, Germany due to the other parent not cooperating or providing consent, then feel free to contact us for assistance. The Firm Advocate, Muhammad Abduroaf, deals with these types of matters.

Posted on 11 February 2025 by Telelaw

Questions on Divorces to an Attorney or Advocate
Below are some questions people have regarding divorces that they may pose to an Attorney. Should have any questions on a divorce, feel free to post it below.
Family Law Questions and Answers
Should you not find what you are looking for, feel free to post your questions on our blog, by clicking on the following links:
Divorces – Questions and Answers
Child Custody – Questions and Answers
Child Maintenance – Question and Answers
Domestic Violence – Questions and Answers
You are welcome to call us on 021 424 3487 / 0870735800
For other legal and business services, feel free to visit:
Business SA or Private Legal.

Can you get a divorce without your spouse’s consent?

Yes, you can. The process will take longer if it is defended.

How do you get a divorce if you have no money?

Approach the Magistrate’s Court in your area for assistance with your divorce. You do not need a lawyer.

Can you refuse to get a divorce?

Yes, you can. However, the Court would grant the divorce if the marriage has broken down and cannot be saved.

Can I do my own divorce?

Yes, you can do your own divorce. There is no need for a lawyer.

How can you get a divorce if spouse won t sign?

The Court can still divorce you if your spouse won’t sign.

Can you be denied a divorce?

Yes, you can if the marriage has not broken down.

How many years do you have to be separated to get a divorce?

There is no minimum. A week could be enough. The marriage should have broken down.

Can you get a divorce without having to go to court?

One spouse needs to go to court to give evidence.

Do both parties have to agree to get a divorce?

No, they do not. The Court will decide if a divorce is warranted.

Can you get a divorce without a lawyer?

Yes, you can. A lawyer is not needed. However, it is always a good idea to use one.

How long does it take to get a contested divorce?

It depends on the Court. We presume no less than 6 months.

How long do you have to respond after being served with divorce papers?

You have 10 (ten) working days.

How much does it cost to get a mutual divorce?

It depends on the lawyers you use. The Court does not charge. So if you do it yourself, there is no fee.

How cheap can you get a divorce?

Various lawyers charge different fees. If you do it yourself, its free.

Can you get a divorce for free?

If you do it yourself, its free.

How fast can you get a divorce?

If both parties agree, it can take about three weeks.

How much does it cost to get a divorce?

It depends on the lawyer. But if you do it yourself, it free.

Do you have to get a lawyer to get a divorce?

No, you do not need a lawyer.

How long do you have to be married before you have to pay alimony?

There is no set time.

Can you make your spouse pay for the divorce?

Yes, you can.

Can you force a divorce?

No, you cannot.

How do you stop a divorce after filing?

You have to withdraw the action.

Can you contest a divorce?

Yes, you can.

What is an uncontested divorce?

It is a divorce where both parties agrees to the

What do I need for a contested divorce?

You need good reasons why you are contesting it.

Can serve divorce papers myself?

No, you need to make use of the Sheriff of the Court.

Can you get a divorce without your spouse’s consent?

Yes, you can.

How do you get a divorce if you have no money?

You do not need much money to get divorced. The only costs is that of the Sheriff.

What are unreasonable terms in a divorce?

Terms which you are not entitled to. For example, wanting the entire joint estate.

Can I do my own divorce?

Yes, you can.

How much will it cost to get a divorce?

There are no costs. You must, however, pay the sheriff fees.

How many years do you have to be separated to get a divorce?

There is no specific minimum. The marriage should only not be able to be saved.

Where can I get divorce papers for free?

Visit the divorce court in your area.

How much money does it cost to get a divorce?

There are no costs, other than the sheriff’s costs. How do I file for divorce without a lawyer? You can do it yourself. Visit the Magistrate’s Court in your area.

Can you refuse to get a divorce?

Yes, you can.

Can you get a divorce without having to go to court?

One party must go to court.

What happens if your spouse does not sign divorce papers?

The divorce would then proceed on a defended basis if they filed such a notice.

Can you be denied a divorce?

Yes, you can if the marriage has not broken down.

Do both parties have to agree to get a divorce?

No.

How long do you have to wait before a divorce is final?

It’s final once the judge or magistrate gives the decree.

How long does it take for a divorce to be final after signing papers?

Once the matter gets heard in Court and the order granted.

How long does it take to get a contested divorce?

Can take no less than six months. It depends on the Court and the lawyer.

Can a judge not grant a divorce?

Yes, if the marriage has not broken down.

Can the father get full custody of his child?

Yes, he can if it is in the child’s best interests.

Can you force a divorce?

No, you cannot.

How long do you have to be married before you have to pay alimony?

There is no limit.

Is it adultery to date while separated?

Yes, it is as you are still married.

Is it cheaper to get divorced after 2 years?

The costs might be more for legal fees.

Can you get a divorce without the other person knowing?

No, the other person must be notified.

Can you get a divorce online?

No, it is not possible. One party must appear in Court and give evidence.

Can you get a divorce without a lawyer?

Yes, you can. You can act as your own lawyer.

How long do you have to respond after being served with divorce papers?

You have 10 working days. It is best to do it sooner.

How do you get a divorce if you do not work?

It is still possible. Visit your nearest magistrate’s court for assistance. All you need is the costs of the sheriff.

How can I file for a divorce on my own?

If you know what you are doing, we advise that you do so. However, you can go to the Magistrate’s Court and ask for assistance.

How long do you have to be separated in order to get a divorce?

There is no maximum or minimum time period.

Can serve divorce papers myself?

No, you have to make use of the Sheriff.

What is sexual misconduct during a divorce?

This would be in a spouse is busy with adultery during the divorce.

What is an informal separation in a marriage?

This is when the parties do not get divorced, but agree to live separately.

Can I date while separated before the divorce?

There is nothing in law preventing you from doing so.

Is it okay to date while going through a divorce?

It may be best to first finalise your divorce.

How much do you pay in alimony and child support?

It depends on the means and need of the parties concerned.

How do you figure out alimony?

You look at income, expenses and needs.

Can you refuse to get divorced?

Yes, you can. However, you must have good reasons. If the marriage is over, then the divorce would proceed.

How can you get a divorce if the spouse will not sign?

The Court can still divorce you.

Can a mother take her child away from the father?

Yes, if it is in the child’s bests interests. However, one should not do so unless a child care expert advises you to do so.

Do you still have to pay child support if you have 50 50 custody?

It is possible if you earn more than the other parent.

Can a judge not grant a divorce?

Yes, it is possible if the marriage has not broken down. Can the court deny a divorce?

How long does it take to get a contested divorce?

It can take a long time, from six months to over a year.

How much is a contested divorce?

It depends on your lawyer and how long it takes.

Do you have to have proof of divorce to remarry?

No. But it is illegal to marry again if you are not divorced.

Is a decree of divorce the final divorce?

Yes, it is. You should receive and Order.

How long do you have to wait before a divorce is final?

It is final once the Judge gives a final order or divorce.

How long does divorce take?

It depends on the case. If your spouse and you fight on every issue, it can take years.

Can I divorce my wife without her consent?

Yes, you can.

Do both husband and wife have to agree to divorce?

No, they do not have to. The Court would divorce you if the marriage has broken down completely.

Can you force your spouse to divorce you?

No, you cannot. You need to follow the court process.

Can you contest a divorce?

Yes, you can.

How long do you have to keep your divorce papers?

You should keep it indefinitely.

Where can I get a copy of my divorce papers?

You should visit the Court that gave you the divorce.

How do you get a divorce if you have no money?

We advise that you approach the Magistrate’s Court in your area.

What does it mean when a divorce is contested?

It means your spouse is not agreeing to the divorce.

Can you fight a divorce?

Yes, you can fight it. The legal term is defend it.

How much does it cost to get an uncontested divorce?

It depends on the lawyer. But if you do it yourself, there is no fee other than the sheriff.

How long do you have to keep bank statements for?

It depends on what. If it is for maintenance, we suggest three years.

Are all divorce records public?

Yes, it is.

Can I find divorce orders online?

No, you need to visit the court.

How do you find out if your divorce is final?

You need to visit the court and ask for a copy.

Are divorce filing public records?

Yes it is.

How can I get my divorce certificate?

You need to visit the court and ask for a copy.

How do you get a copy of a divorce decree?

You need to visit the court and ask for a copy.

Can you refuse to get divorced?

Yes, you can.

Is everything Split 50 50 in a divorce?

Yes if you are married In Community of Property.

Can a wife claim her husband property in the divorce?

It is possible if there is a legal basis for it.

Can I keep my house in a divorce?

Yes, if it is agreed upon or awarded by the court.

Who gets the child in a divorce?

The parent who can best care for the child primarily.

Can infidelity be used in a divorce?

Yes, it can.

Can you lose custody of your child due to adultery?

Its possible, but very unlikely if its the sole reason.

Can you sue your spouse for adultery?

No, you cannot.

Can the father get full custody of his child?

Yes, he can.

What is considered adultery in a divorce?

If there was sexual intercourse.

Can a mother take her child away from the father?

If it is in the child’s best interest. It is advised to get the advice of a social worker first.

Do you still have to pay child support if you have 50 50 custody?

It is possible. Depending on your income. If you earn more, then it is possible.

How do you prove a parent unfit?

It depends on the facts. If there are such facts, it must be brought to the court’s attention.

What is considered an unfit mother?

A mother who does not act in the best interests of the child and the child suffers.

How can mother win child custody?

She must prove that it is in the best interest of the child if she gets custody.

Can you get custody of a child that is not yours?

Yes, it is possible.

What is considered a stable environment for a child?

Where there child’s best interests are met.

How long does divorce take?

If it is defended, it can take a year. If not, a month.

What is unreasonable divorce settlement in a divorce?

Where it favours one party.

Can you contest a divorce if you not happy with it?

Yes, you can.

Can you defend a divorce?

Yes, you can.

What happens if your wife does not sign divorce papers?

The divorce would go ahead, however, it might take longer.

Can you be denied a divorce?

Yes, you can be denied a divorce if the marriage has not broken down.

Posted on 11 February 2025 by Telelaw