Our Legal Question of the day: I am in an abusive relationship. Is there help out there?

[caption id="attachment_6386" align="alignleft" width="300"]Set up a Consultation with us. Set up a Consultation with us.[/caption] No one deserves to be in an abusive and controlling relationship or be a victim of abuse. The causes and symptoms of abusive and controlling, romantic relationships vary. However, the unfortunate reality is that many decent people are trapped in one. And what is sad, is that they do not know how to get out of the toxic relationship, or to make it stop. There are many reasons why people remain in an abusive and controlling relationship. Some depend on the abuser for financial support, and others believe that they cannot or won’t get better should they leave their abuser.  The even more bitter scenario is when you remain in the abusive relationship for the sake of the children.
We are conveniently located in the Pinnacle Building, in the Cape Town CBD. Click here to call us on (021) 4243487 or send us an email.

 Family Abuse

Then there are other types of abusive relationships. They comprise of a parent abusing his or her child, or a brother abusing the sister. Even neglecting a child is abuse. This can happen when parents deprive their children economically, of decent clothing, food and shelter. The list goes on. The law terms the above type of abusive relationships under the banner of Domestic Violence. At the same time, the law affords victims of domestic violence help. The applicable legislation is the Domestic Violence Act, 116 of 1998.

What is a Domestic Relationship?

As you would see below, domestic violence is any controlling or abusive behaviour inflicted to someone in a domestic relationship. Therefore, in short, according to the Act, a domestic relationship is between family members, people living together, or people who were in a romantic relationship. You do not have to be married to someone to seek help from the law. An adopted child can also seek protection from the Domestic Violence Act. This makes it very convenient as most domestic relationships are covered by the Domestic Violence Act.

 Therefore, what is domestic Violence?

The Domestic Violence Act defines it as follows:
  • Physical abuse;
  • Sexual abuse;
  • Emotional, verbal and psychological abuse;
  • Economic abuse;
  • Intimidation;
  • Harassment;
  • Stalking;
  • Damage to property;
  • entry into the complainant’s residence without consent, where the parties do not share the same residence; or
  • Any other controlling or abusive behavior towards a Complainant.
Now, as you can see, the ambit of domestic violence is quite broad. It should cover most situations.

How to stop the abusive behavior?

Now we deal with the crux of our question and answer segment on Domestic Violence. How can you make it stop? If you are a victim of domestic violence, and you want protection, you should visit your local Domestic Violence Court and obtain a Protection Order. For an outline on how to apply, visit this article named ABC guide on how to obtain a Protection Order. Even though you are seeking protection from the law, you can still maintain a relationship with the person, but he or she would be interdicted from committing any acts of domestic violence against you.  If he or she again commits an act of domestic violence, after you obtained an interim, or final Protection order, the law would ensure that he or she gets punished.

Final words to victims of Abuse

If you are a victim of abuse, remember the law is there to protect and help you. Unfortunately, the law cannot change people’s personalities. It further cannot make someone love you or care for you the way they should, or you want them to. However, if you have no option but to remain in a relationship, with your spouse, lover, or other significant person, seek protection. Most times, that is the best you can do for yourself and those close to you.

Sharing is Caring

[caption id="attachment_6387" align="alignleft" width="300"]Business Legal Advice - Cape Town Contact us today[/caption] This and other articles and posts found on this website are written by Adv. Muhammad Abduroaf to assist people with various family law related issues they may have. If you find any of our articles, free resources and posts interesting, or possibly useful to others, please like and share it on Social Media by clicking on the icons below. For more interesting articles and information on Family Law, view our articles and Q&A page. If you have a family law related legal issue and you want someone to answer or reply to it, feel free to post it on our Family Law Blog. Therefore, kindly like and share. Should you require any other legal services and advice, not related to family law, visit Private Legal.  

Our Legal Question of the day: I am in an abusive relationship. Is there help out there?

Set up a Consultation with us.
Set up a Consultation with us.

No one deserves to be in an abusive and controlling relationship or be a victim of abuse. The causes and symptoms of abusive and controlling, romantic relationships vary. However, the unfortunate reality is that many decent people are trapped in one. And what is sad, is that they do not know how to get out of the toxic relationship, or to make it stop. There are many reasons why people remain in an abusive and controlling relationship. Some depend on the abuser for financial support, and others believe that they cannot or won’t get better should they leave their abuser.  The even more bitter scenario is when you remain in the abusive relationship for the sake of the children.

We are conveniently located in the Pinnacle Building, in the Cape Town CBD. Click here to call us on (021) 4243487 or send us an email.

 Family Abuse

Then there are other types of abusive relationships. They comprise of a parent abusing his or her child, or a brother abusing the sister. Even neglecting a child is abuse. This can happen when parents deprive their children economically, of decent clothing, food and shelter. The list goes on. The law terms the above type of abusive relationships under the banner of Domestic Violence. At the same time, the law affords victims of domestic violence help. The applicable legislation is the Domestic Violence Act, 116 of 1998.

What is a Domestic Relationship?

As you would see below, domestic violence is any controlling or abusive behaviour inflicted to someone in a domestic relationship. Therefore, in short, according to the Act, a domestic relationship is between family members, people living together, or people who were in a romantic relationship. You do not have to be married to someone to seek help from the law. An adopted child can also seek protection from the Domestic Violence Act. This makes it very convenient as most domestic relationships are covered by the Domestic Violence Act.

 Therefore, what is domestic Violence?

The Domestic Violence Act defines it as follows:

  • Physical abuse;
  • Sexual abuse;
  • Emotional, verbal and psychological abuse;
  • Economic abuse;
  • Intimidation;
  • Harassment;
  • Stalking;
  • Damage to property;
  • entry into the complainant’s residence without consent, where the parties do not share the same residence; or
  • Any other controlling or abusive behavior towards a Complainant.

Now, as you can see, the ambit of domestic violence is quite broad. It should cover most situations.

How to stop the abusive behavior?

Now we deal with the crux of our question and answer segment on Domestic Violence. How can you make it stop?

If you are a victim of domestic violence, and you want protection, you should visit your local Domestic Violence Court and obtain a Protection Order. For an outline on how to apply, visit this article named ABC guide on how to obtain a Protection Order.

Even though you are seeking protection from the law, you can still maintain a relationship with the person, but he or she would be interdicted from committing any acts of domestic violence against you.  If he or she again commits an act of domestic violence, after you obtained an interim, or final Protection order, the law would ensure that he or she gets punished.

Final words to victims of Abuse

If you are a victim of abuse, remember the law is there to protect and help you. Unfortunately, the law cannot change people’s personalities. It further cannot make someone love you or care for you the way they should, or you want them to. However, if you have no option but to remain in a relationship, with your spouse, lover, or other significant person, seek protection. Most times, that is the best you can do for yourself and those close to you.

Sharing is Caring

Business Legal Advice - Cape Town
Contact us today

This and other articles and posts found on this website are written by Adv. Muhammad Abduroaf to assist people with various family law related issues they may have. If you find any of our articles, free resources and posts interesting, or possibly useful to others, please like and share it on Social Media by clicking on the icons below. For more interesting articles and information on Family Law, view our articles and Q&A page. If you have a family law related legal issue and you want someone to answer or reply to it, feel free to post it on our Family Law Blog. Therefore, kindly like and share.

Should you require any other legal services and advice, not related to family law, visit Private Legal.

 

Related Post

Top tips and tricks from a Senior Family Law Advocate on claiming maintenance for a five-year-old child in Simon’s Town.

Child Maintenance is the right of the child, and not that of the parent. It is also not a privilege granted to parents who must pay it. It is their duty to pay child maintenance and support their children. Once the child is self-supporting (being able to care for him or herself), the obligation falls away. This can happen when the child is 18, 20, or even 30. It all depends on the circumstances of the case.

Claiming child maintenance for your child in Simon’s Town

Whether you claim child maintenance in Simon’s Town, or any other city in South Africa, the procedures would be the same. There are however two (2) courts that can deal with child maintenance matters. That is a divorce court, in a divorce matter, and a Child Maintenance Court. For this article, we will focus on claiming maintenance in a Maintenance Court matter in Simon’s Town.

The maintenance scenario – Simon’s Town South Africa

In this article, we will deal with the following fictitious scenario, in a child maintenance matter:

  1. The Child is seven years old and attends school in Simon’s Town
  2. The child is cared for by the mother who works in Simon’s Town
  3. The mother works and earns a Salary of R 10 000
  4. The father sees the child every second weekend. He also lives and works in Simon’s Town
  5. The child’s monthly expenses are R 6000 – 00 which includes food, clothing, accommodation, education, travel etc.
  6. The father earns a reasonable salary and can afford the R 20 000 – 00 per month
  7. The mother claims R 4 000 – 00 maintenance as the father earns double her salary

What is the first step the mother must take in claiming child maintenance?

The first thing the mother must do is work out exactly what the child costs by item. She breaks down the minor child’s living expenses, starting from rent or accommodation to groceries to school fees etc. Once she has done that, she would need to determine what exactly does the minor child cost per month, seeing that she will be asking the father to contribute towards that. As best as possible, she needs to collect proof of expenses. This can be in the form of receipts.

How does she start the legal process?

The mother now needs to approach the maintenance court in the area where she lives or works to lodge a complaint for child maintenance. If she lives or works in Simon’s Town, it would be the maintenance court in Simon’s Town. She will complete a Form A wherein she will provide all the expenses for her and the minor child. She would also have to stipulate her income. Once she completed the form and submitted it to the maintenance court, she must then follow the next step.

What do you do while waiting for the maintenance court date?

While you wait to be informed of the court date by the Maintenance Court of Simon’s Town, and up until the actual first court date, you need to ensure that you keep a record of all income and expenses for you and the child. This is very important as the court allocates maintenance based on recent income and expenses.

What happens at the first court appearance at the Simon’s Town Maintenance Court?

Once you have been notified of the maintenance court date by the Simon’s Town Maintenance Court, you need to ensure that you attend it. On that day, both you and the father of the child would appear before a maintenance officer. The maintenance officer would go through both your income and expenses as well as that of the father. If all the relevant information is not before the maintenance court, then the matter may be postponed in order for the parties to submit it.

The maintenance officer will try to settle the matter and have the parents come to an agreement regarding the amount of child maintenance to be paid. If they cannot come to an agreement regarding the child maintenance to be paid, the matter would have to proceed to a formal hearing or trial before a Magistrate.

How does the Maintenance Court hearing or trial work in Simon’s Town?

Essentially, the maintenance court is called upon to make a fair ruling regarding what is a fair amount of child support that needs to be paid. For that to happen, the parents would have to give evidence in that regard. The mother would present to the court what the child costs, what she contributes and what she requires the other parent to pay. The Father would have a right to question the mother and to present evidence as to why he cannot afford the amount requested or why he feels it is an unfair amount. The mother can they also question him.

At the end of the day, the Simon’s Town Maintenance Court would be able to properly determine what is a fair and adequate amount of child maintenance to pay after being presented will all relevant information. The Simon’s Town Maintenance Court should play an active role in determining what is a fair amount of child maintenance the father should pay.

The above child maintenance application principles should apply to the following provinces and cities:

Eastern Cape:

Alice, Butterworth, East London, Graaff-Reinet, Grahamstown, King William’s Town, Mthatha

Port Elizabeth, Queenstown, Uitenhage, Zwelitsha

Free State:

Bethlehem. Bloemfontein, Jagersfontein, Kroonstad, Odendaalsrus, Parys, Phuthaditjhaba, Sasolburg, Virginia, Welkom

Gauteng:

Benoni, Boksburg, Brakpan, Carletonville, Germiston, Johannesburg, Krugersdorp, Pretoria, Randburg, Randfontein, Roodepoort, Soweto, Springs, Vanderbijlpark, Vereeniging

KwaZulu-Natal:

Durban, Empangeni, Ladysmith, Newcastle, Pietermaritzburg, Pinetown, Ulundi, Umlazi

Limpopo:

Giyani, Lebowakgomo, Musina, Phalaborwa, Polokwane, Seshego, Sibasa, Thabazimbi

Mpumalanga:

Emalahleni, Nelspruit, Secunda, North West, Klerksdorp, Mahikeng, Mmabatho, Potchefstroom, Rustenburg, Northern Cape, Kimberley, Kuruman, Port Nolloth

Western Cape:

Bellville, Simon’s Town, Constantia, George, Hopefield, Oudtshoorn, Paarl, Simon’s Town, Stellenbosch, Swellendam, Worcester

 

 

 

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