Contact and care disputes regarding your minor children for the school holidays

Holidays are approaching. It is that time of the year again where parents and children want to spend time together, relax, and have fun. This is usually easy to implement when parents and children live together. However, if that is not the case, it can become somewhat challenging for some and more for others. What can one do if the issue of holiday contact cannot be resolved where the parents are not living together? Read on for ways to avoid legal problems on the eve of Christmas.

The right of the child to spend time with both parents

Before dealing with the issue of the law and how it can be used to resolve issues, let us first look at the rights of a child. When dealing with any child matter, the law focuses on what is best for the child. The child’s best interest principle is stated in our Constitution and the Children’s Act in terms of legislation. Section 28 (2) of our Constitution states that “[a] child’s best interests are of paramount importance in every matter concerning the child.” Furthermore, section 9 of the Children’s Act 38 of 2005 states that “[i]n all matters concerning the care, protection, and well-being of a child the standard that the child’s best interest is of paramount importance, must be applied.” Therefore, in resolving any care and contact disputes regarding holiday contact, the focus must be on what is best for the minor child involved. And not the parents.

Resolving care and contact issues out of Court

At a very last resort, parties may approach the Court to resolve their care and contact issues. It can be a very challenging and tedious process, which outcome may not always be what you want it to be. That may apply to both parents. However, once the ruling has been made, the parties are bound by it. If the process was acrimonious, it could mean that neither party would be willing to negotiate a temporary change to contact should the need arise—for example, swopping days when there is a family wedding or birthday celebration. The ideal is for the parents to be the architects of their parenting arrangement, not lawyers, social workers, or the courts. They know their lives and the child much better than anyone else and are best suited to find a workable solution. Each family is different. What would work for one family will not work for another. The children’s ages, the location of schools, parents’ homes, and jobs would differ vastly from that of other families. No one glove fits all when it comes to care and contact arrangements for minor children.

Parents sitting down with a view of resolving care and contact arrangements before the school holidays

The first advice we have to parents who are having challenges in resolving issues regarding holiday contact is to set up a meeting with each other. This is very important as it would give both parents a chance to hear the other parent’s view. Parents should try their best to avoid third parties getting involved. And when we say third parties, we include lawyers, social workers, magistrates, judges, etc. Once others get involved, the lines of communication may not be that easy. And many times, it is distorted. Sitting on the same table provides the other parent with immediate suggestions and information needed to resolve the issue, not through a lawyer or a court. Only you and the other parent know what is workable. You know your schedule, your budget, the needs of the children and how far you can compromise. Not the attorney, advocate, or presiding officer. Their knowledge would be limited to the few pages presented or the few hours of consultation.

What is the disadvantage of seeking outside help?

If you and the other parent met and things were still not resolved, outside help would inevitably be needed. That same applies if a meeting is not possible due to the issue of domestic violence or an unwillingness of a parent to meet face to face. Outside help can be a mutual family friend, a family member both parents trust, or a trained mediator. A trained mediator could be a social worker, psychologist, attorney, or advocate. The Office of the Family Advocate can also assist. However, remember, some mediation services can be costly, and if there is a budget, you would have to do with only a few hours being spent on critical decisions. Even if the services are free, remember, in that case, limited time would still be spent on your issues. If issues cannot be resolved within a few hours, more than likely, the mediator would advise that your either take their ad hoc recommendations or take the matter to Court. We are not discrediting mediation or litigation. However, we want the parents to try their utmost to resolve the issues they have before looking for outside assistance. But let us presume outside help is needed. In that case, let us properly look at mediation.

Having your care and contact issues formally mediated

Mediation is an excellent tool to resolve care and contact disputes between parents. This is especially so when a trained and experienced mediator is involved. However, it is not always necessary to have a professional mediator on board. For example, an attorney, advocate, social worker and so on. As previously stated, it can also be your priest, your neighbour, or a trusted family member. All parents and family dynamics are different. It would be unfair to state that expert mediators can only resolve all parental issues. That is illogical and has no factual basis, therefore. However, should it be decided that a trained professional mediator is appropriate, then consider the following:

Are both you and the other parent comfortable with the proposed mediator? It is very important that both parties are happy and comfortable with the mediator you will be approaching to assist in resolving your issues;
Are the fees the mediator charges reasonable and sustainable according to your pockets? Not all mediators charge the same rate. Rates are, of course, based on experience, qualification, location and so on. However, it would not make sense to enlist the services of a mediator where you can only afford a single session. Some issues require two or three sessions, depending on the issues involved. If we are dealing with swopping a weekend, a single session may be appropriate. However, when dealing with something like relocation, maybe three different sittings would be appropriate; and
Are you happy with the location of the mediator’s office or the use of virtual sessions (e.g. Zoom or Microsoft Teams)? For some, face to face mediation will yield the best results. The parties would be able to meaningfully engage with each other in the same room instead of using phone or computer monitors. However, virtual mediation sessions would be best for some, and they prefer it. They save time on travelling and do not have to take time off work.

Once you agree on the mediator, attend sessions with an open mind. Remember, you are in control and can decide your own destiny. Not your lawyers or a court of law. However, if mediation is unsuccessful, one would need to consider taking the matter to Court.

Taking your care and contact matters to Court

Going to Court on your care and contact matters has advantages and disadvantages. The one advantage is that it would bring whatever issue you have to finality. The disadvantage is that you may be unsuccessful and spend a fortune on your legal fees and potentially the other sides. Nonetheless, if mediation fails, or it is necessary to go to Court, here are some tips to consider when taking that route:

First, receive proper advice on the legal issue you have at hand. It is important that you understand the issues involved and your legal recourse. It would be unfortunate if you take your matter to Court but do not understand what you are getting yourself into;
Know exactly what you want. In other words, what Order do you want the Court to grant you? Is it primary care, shared care or reasonable contact?
Ensure that you provide your legal representative with all the relevant facts to fight for your case. This would only be possible if the first two points above have been complied with; and
Make sure that you are always kept abreast of your matter.

How will the Court decide the matter?

As always, the Court would decide your matter based on what is best for the minor child involved. As stated, section 9 of the Children’s Act states that “[i]n all matters concerning the care, protection, and well-being of a child the standard that the child’s best interest is of paramount importance, must be applied.” And section 28 (2) of our Constitution states that “[a] child’s best interests are of paramount importance in every matter concerning the child.” Furthermore, the Children’s Act 38 of 2005 places great emphasis on the child’s voice being heard in matters concerning that child. The Children’s Act states the following in this regard: 6 General principles … (5) A child, having regard to his or her age, maturity and stage of development, and a person who has parental responsibilities and rights in respect of that child, where appropriate, must be informed of any action or decision taken in a matter concerning the child which significantly affects the child. … 10 Child participation Every child that is of such an age, maturity and stage of development as to be able to participate in any matter concerning that child has the right to participate in an appropriate way and views expressed by the child must be given due consideration. … 31 Major decisions involving child (1) (a) Before a person holding parental responsibilities and rights in respect of a child takes any decision contemplated in paragraph (b) involving the child, that person must give due consideration to any views and wishes expressed by the child, bearing in mind the child’s age, maturity and stage of development. In conclusion, should you take your matter to Court or be brought to Court by the other parent, you need to focus on what is best for the minor child. That can sometimes be very hard because in doing so, you must consider factors that do not support your case. For example, if the minor child has always been cared for by the other parent. The bottom line is, focus on what is best for the minor child involved. And if speaking face to face and mediation does not work, then only then approach the Courts. You may, however, seek legal advice beforehand.

Posted on 11 February 2025 by Telelaw

Contact and care disputes regarding your minor children for the school holidays

The right of the child to spend time with both parents

Furthermore, section 9 of the Children’s Act 38 of 2005 states that “[i]n all matters concerning the care, protection, and well-being of a child the standard that the child’s best interest is of paramount importance, must be applied.”

Therefore, in resolving any care and contact disputes regarding holiday contact, the focus must be on what is best for the minor child involved. And not the parents.

Resolving care and contact issues out of Court

The ideal is for the parents to be the architects of their parenting arrangement, not lawyers, social workers, or the courts. They know their lives and the child much better than anyone else and are best suited to find a workable solution. Each family is different. What would work for one family will not work for another. The children’s ages, the location of schools, parents’ homes, and jobs would differ vastly from that of other families. No one glove fits all when it comes to care and contact arrangements for minor children.

Parents sitting down with a view of resolving care and contact arrangements before the school holidays

Sitting on the same table provides the other parent with immediate suggestions and information needed to resolve the issue, not through a lawyer or a court. Only you and the other parent know what is workable. You know your schedule, your budget, the needs of the children and how far you can compromise. Not the attorney, advocate, or presiding officer. Their knowledge would be limited to the few pages presented or the few hours of consultation.

What is the disadvantage of seeking outside help?

Even if the services are free, remember, in that case, limited time would still be spent on your issues. If issues cannot be resolved within a few hours, more than likely, the mediator would advise that your either take their ad hoc recommendations or take the matter to Court. We are not discrediting mediation or litigation. However, we want the parents to try their utmost to resolve the issues they have before looking for outside assistance. But let us presume outside help is needed. In that case, let us properly look at mediation.

Having your care and contact issues formally mediated

However, should it be decided that a trained professional mediator is appropriate, then consider the following:

Are both you and the other parent comfortable with the proposed mediator? It is very important that both parties are happy and comfortable with the mediator you will be approaching to assist in resolving your issues;
Are the fees the mediator charges reasonable and sustainable according to your pockets? Not all mediators charge the same rate. Rates are, of course, based on experience, qualification, location and so on. However, it would not make sense to enlist the services of a mediator where you can only afford a single session. Some issues require two or three sessions, depending on the issues involved. If we are dealing with swopping a weekend, a single session may be appropriate. However, when dealing with something like relocation, maybe three different sittings would be appropriate; and
Are you happy with the location of the mediator’s office or the use of virtual sessions (e.g. Zoom or Microsoft Teams)? For some, face to face mediation will yield the best results. The parties would be able to meaningfully engage with each other in the same room instead of using phone or computer monitors. However, virtual mediation sessions would be best for some, and they prefer it. They save time on travelling and do not have to take time off work.

Taking your care and contact matters to Court

First, receive proper advice on the legal issue you have at hand. It is important that you understand the issues involved and your legal recourse. It would be unfortunate if you take your matter to Court but do not understand what you are getting yourself into;
Know exactly what you want. In other words, what Order do you want the Court to grant you? Is it primary care, shared care or reasonable contact?
Ensure that you provide your legal representative with all the relevant facts to fight for your case. This would only be possible if the first two points above have been complied with; and
Make sure that you are always kept abreast of your matter.

How will the Court decide the matter?

And section 28 (2) of our Constitution states that “[a] child’s best interests are of paramount importance in every matter concerning the child.”

Furthermore, the Children’s Act 38 of 2005 places great emphasis on the child’s voice being heard in matters concerning that child. The Children’s Act states the following in this regard:

6 General principles

…

(5) A child, having regard to his or her age, maturity and stage of development, and a person who has parental responsibilities and rights in respect of that child, where appropriate, must be informed of any action or decision taken in a matter concerning the child which significantly affects the child.

…

10 Child participation

Every child that is of such an age, maturity and stage of development as to be able to participate in any matter concerning that child has the right to participate in an appropriate way and views expressed by the child must be given due consideration.

…

31 Major decisions involving child

(1) (a) Before a person holding parental responsibilities and rights in respect of a child takes any decision contemplated in paragraph (b) involving the child, that person must give due consideration to any views and wishes expressed by the child, bearing in mind the child’s age, maturity and stage of development.

In conclusion, should you take your matter to Court or be brought to Court by the other parent, you need to focus on what is best for the minor child. That can sometimes be very hard because in doing so, you must consider factors that do not support your case. For example, if the minor child has always been cared for by the other parent.

The bottom line is, focus on what is best for the minor child involved. And if speaking face to face and mediation does not work, then only then approach the Courts. You may, however, seek legal advice beforehand.

21 Relocation with my minor child to Nigeria, Lagos (Consent and Refusal) – Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf The world is becoming a much smaller place, and technology plays a huge role. People are moving across the world for employment, love and happiness, something that was not the norm a few decades ago. There is no reason why you should remain in South Africa if you can find a better life for yourself and your family overseas. Moving overseas may provide you with the quality of life you want or the possibility of experiencing things you always wanted. The same applies to your child or children relocating with you. Relocation of your minor child to Lagos, Nigeria If you are single and do not have any minor children, then moving around the world would not be too complicated. All you need to do is ensure that you have the necessary travel documentation and travel ticket (and spending money), and off you go. However, if you want to travel with your minor children (for example, ages three or four) or relocate to another country, things may not be that simple. Firstly, if there is another parent, and he or she has parental responsibilities and rights, then his or her consent is required. For example, let us say you live in Cape Town or Johannesburg, South Africa, and you want to relocate to Lagos, Nigeria, you would require the other parent’s consent to leave South Africa with your minor child. This can cause challenges, especially if the staying parent (in South Africa) does not agree to the relocation. What about Passport Consent to travel or relocate to Lagos, Nigeria? The same applies when it comes to your minor child applying for a South African passport to relocate to Nigeria, or any country. Both parents who have parental responsibilities and rights of guardianship will have to consent to the minor child’s passport application as well. In this regard, both parents have to be at the Department of Home Affairs (or the relevant bank that also assists with passport application) when making the Application with the minor child. This can be challenging if you have a disinterested parent who does not want to cooperate with the passport application. As you will see later, legal action would need to be taken. What are the steps to follow when I want to relocate to Lagos, Nigeria with my minor child? There is there another parent. To simplify the process for relocation, the first step would be to receive the other parent’s consent in principle for the relocation and that he or she will co-operate in this regard. Once that has been resolved, the parent relocating would need to make the appointment for the minor child’s passport application as well as the application for the relevant VISA. Each country has different requirements; however, seeing that it is a relocation, you need to apply for the correct VISA. For that, you need the Passport. Once the visa and travel arrangements have been finalised, the parent remaining behind will sign a parental consent letter for the international travel. That letter can be found on the Department of Home Affairs website. Basically, the parent remaining behind would state that he or she gives consent for the minor child to leave the Republic of South Africa and travel and/or relocate to Lagos, Nigeria. What can I do if the other parent does not want to consent to the minor child’s relocation to Lagos, Nigeria? If the parent remaining in South Africa does not want to consent to the minor child’s passport application and/or his or her relocation to Lagos, Nigeria, then you would need to approach the Court. The Court, as upper guardian of the minor child, may order that the parent’s consent for the passport application and relocation be dispensed with. What this entails is submitting Court documents explaining why you want to relocate to Lagos, Nigeria. The other parent would also have an opportunity to give reasons why he or she objects. At the end of the process, the Court would determine what is in the minor child’s best interests. If it is in the minor child’s best interests to relocate to Lagos, Nigeria, the Court would make it possible despite the issue of consent or refusal. What is the first step I should take if the other parent does not want to consent to the minor child’s passport application and/or relocation to Lagos, Nigeria? If the other parent does not want to consent to the passport application and/or the relocation of the minor child to Lagos, Nigeria – in that case, we suggest you approach an attorney or advocate (trust account) to assist you with the legal process. He or she would then contact the other parent explaining the reasons for the relocation and request the necessary consent. If the parent remaining in South Africa does still not agree to the passport application and/or to the relocation to Lagos, Nigeria, then the attorney or advocate will proceed to take the matter to court. The legal route can be expensive. However, it is necessary to make the relocation of the minor child possible. You may also attend to the legal process yourself. Getting legal assistance or help with your relocation application to Lagos, Nigeria If you require legal assistance or representation with relocating to Lagos, Nigeria due to the other parent not cooperating or providing consent, then feel free to contact us for assistance. The Firm Advocate, Muhammad Abduroaf, deals with these types of matters.

Posted on 11 February 2025 by Telelaw

Relocation with my minor child to Taiwan, Taipei (Consent and Refusal) – Advocate Muhammad Abduroaf
The world is becoming a much smaller place, and technology plays a huge role. People are moving across the world for employment, love and happiness, something that was not the norm a few decades ago. There is no reason why you should remain in South Africa if you can find a better life for yourself and your family overseas. Moving overseas may provide you with the quality of life you want or the possibility of experiencing things you always wanted. The same applies to your child or children relocating with you.
Relocation of your minor child to Taipei, Taiwan
If you are single and do not have any minor children, then moving around the world would not be too complicated. All you need to do is ensure that you have the necessary travel documentation and travel ticket (and spending money), and off you go. However, if you want to travel with your minor children (for example, ages nine or ten) or relocate to another country, things may not be that simple. Firstly, if there is another parent, and he or she has parental responsibilities and rights, then his or her consent is required. For example, let us say you live in Krugersdorp or Umlazi, South Africa, and you want to relocate to Taipei, Taiwan, you would require the other parent’s consent to leave South Africa with your minor child. This can cause challenges, especially if the staying parent (in South Africa) does not agree to the relocation.
What about Passport Consent to travel or relocate to Taipei, Taiwan?
The same applies when it comes to your minor child applying for a South African passport to relocate to Taiwan, or any country. Both parents who have parental responsibilities and rights of guardianship will have to consent to the minor child’s passport application as well. In this regard, both parents have to be at the Department of Home Affairs (or the relevant bank that also assists with passport application) when making the Application with the minor child. This can be challenging if you have a disinterested parent who does not want to cooperate with the passport application. As you will see later, legal action would need to be taken.
What are the steps to follow when I want to relocate to Taipei, Taiwan with my minor child? There is another parent.
To simplify the process for relocation, the first step would be to receive the other parent’s consent in principle for the relocation and that he or she will co-operate in this regard. Once that has been resolved, the parent relocating would need to make the appointment for the minor child’s passport application as well as the application for the relevant VISA. Each country has different requirements; however, seeing that it is a relocation, you need to apply for the correct VISA. For that, you need the Passport. Once the visa and travel arrangements have been finalised, the parent remaining behind will sign a parental consent letter for the international travel. That letter can be found on the Department of Home Affairs website. Basically, the parent remaining behind would state that he or she gives consent for the minor child to leave the Republic of South Africa and travel and/or relocate to Taipei, Taiwan.
What can I do if the other parent does not want to consent to the minor child’s relocation to Taipei, Taiwan?
If the parent remaining in South Africa does not want to consent to the minor child’s passport application and/or his or her relocation to Taipei, Taiwan, then you would need to approach the Court. The Court, as upper guardian of the minor child, may order that the parent’s consent for the passport application and relocation be dispensed with. What this entails is submitting Court documents explaining why you want to relocate to Taipei, Taiwan. The other parent would also have an opportunity to give reasons why he or she objects. At the end of the process, the Court would determine what is in the minor child’s best interests. If it is in the minor child’s best interests to relocate to Taipei, Taiwan, the Court would make it possible despite the issue of consent or refusal.
What is the first step I should take if the other parent does not want to consent to the minor child’s passport application and/or relocation to Taipei, Taiwan?
If the other parent does not want to consent to the passport application and/or the relocation of the minor child to Taipei, Taiwan – in that case, we suggest you approach an attorney or advocate (trust account) to assist you with the legal process. He or she would then contact the other parent explaining the reasons for the relocation and request the necessary consent. If the parent remaining in South Africa does still not agree to the passport application and/or to the relocation to Taipei, Taiwan, then the attorney or advocate will proceed to take the matter to court. The legal route can be expensive. However, it is necessary to make the relocation of the minor child possible. You may also attend to the legal process yourself.
Getting legal assistance or help with your relocation application to Taipei, Taiwan
If you require legal assistance or representation with relocating to Taipei, Taiwan due to the other parent not cooperating or providing consent, then feel free to contact us for assistance. The Firm Advocate, Muhammad Abduroaf, deals with these types of matters.

Posted on 11 February 2025 by Telelaw

Father being refused contact to his child! What are his rights as a Father?

The concept of Family

Fam-i-ly. A three-syllable word, that means so much. The concept of family is a very broad one and one that takes more than one form. There is the traditional form, and a more modern one. When you say “she is family”, you may be referring to your father’s cousin, a grandparent, or a niece. However, people most often referred to are those closest to you, referring to blood relations, for example, a parent or child. The most basic social unit of what a family comprises of – two parents and in most cases a child.

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However, the law now sees people as family who are not necessary married to each other in law, but who may be cohabiting as life partners, bringing a more modern concept to it. As the law recognises family relations, it therefore imposes certain rights, obligations, and certain restraints when it comes to family. For example, spouses have a legal obligation to maintain each other, and you may not marry your sibling. Another example is that of inheritance, even if you never knew you had a child, at your death, he or she would inherit from you if you die intestate, all just because, you are Fam-i-ly.

What is a father?

This article deals with the legal relationship between a biological father and a child. Not all men are blessed with being referred to as a father. In order to be a father, you have to be a male parent to a child. The child must have been born from you. And therefore, every child can only have one father. However, from the moment you became a father, the law imposed certain rights and responsibilities. These responsibilities will remain until you or your child’s demise. The scope of this article is not to stipulate what a good or bad father is. It is to outline what the responsibilities and rights of a father are towards his child.

What are the father’s rights towards his child?

This article is inspired by the fact that many fathers who are not in a marital, or romantic relationship with the mother of his child, are refused the rights to exercise his parental rights and responsibilities towards his child. In South Africa, we have the Children’s Act 38 (Act 38 of 2005), which came into effect on 1 April 2010. Here section 10 of the Act is of use. It defines parental responsibilities and rights, which includes the right to care for the child, to maintain contact with the child, to act as guardian of the child; and to contribute to the maintenance of the child. Fathers of children born out of wedlock does not automatically have rights towards their child. In order for you to form part of such a child’s life you need to fulfil the requirements of section 21 of the Act, which basically states:

at the time of the child’s birth, you are living with the mother in a permanent life-partnership; and
you contribute or have attempted in good faith to contribute to the child’s upbringing for a reasonable period;
you contribute or have attempted in good faith to contribute towards expenses in connection with the maintenance of the child for a reasonable period.

Many fathers would have been married to the mother. Others would have meaningfully partook in the child’s life from birth. Therefore, there should generally be no difference between a child born from a marriage and a child born outside of a marriage. To take the statement further, it is possible for a father of a child born out of wedlock to be the primary care giver of the child, where the mother is only entitled to see the child at certain times and circumstances, or not at all.

What is meant by the terms care and contact?

The question is now posed, what is meant by this right of care and contact a father has towards his child? The Act provides a very holistic understanding of the concept of care. This includes providing the child with proper accommodation, guidance, protection and so on. Basically, to do, and provide the child with whatever is in his or her best interests. Contact, on the other hand entails maintaining a personal relationship with the child, visiting or being visited by him or her, and communication with the child in various forms.

Can the mother of your child deny you contact and care rights?

Now we deal with the issue of whether or not the mother of your child can arbitrary deny you from exercising your parental responsibilities and rights of care and contact. Should a mother feel that the father of her child should have limited rights and care to his child; in order for her to limit his rights, the mother should have a very good reason for doing so. Her reason should be motivated by what is in the child’s best interest and nothing else. However, what is in the child’s best interest is an objective assessment and not a maternal one. All factors are to be considered. Therefore, by way of example, should the mother’s reason be that the father has a new girlfriend, or that she does not like his parents – that would not on the face of it be a good reason. Therefore, should the father unreasonably be refused care and contact, he can invoke the law. Should he decide to litigate, the court would assess the matter and make a ruling as to what is in the minor child’s best interest. The court may agree with the mother, or the father, or with none of them.

Final words to fathers

As a father of a child, you are legally afforded with certain parental responsibilities in relation to your child. In South African law, there is no distinction between the rights of a mother and that of a father in relation to a child if the father has full parental rights and responsibilities. However, what the law looks at is what would practically make sense when exercising those rights and responsibilities. In other words, we cannot cut the child in half. The yardstick is, what is in the child’s best interests. All families are different, with many variables at play. Therefore, if it would be in the minor child’s best interests to reside with their mother, that should happen. Even if the father only sees the child on Christmas eve, then that should be the case. However, in the same breath if it would be in the minor child’s best interest for the minor child to reside with the father and the mother to have contact once a month, then that should be enforced. Therefore, if you as a father are unreasonably being obstructed from exercising your rights of care and contact, get legal advice, and enforce your rights.

Sharing is Caring

This and other articles and posts found on this website are written by Adv. Muhammad Abduroaf to assist people with various family law related issues they may have. If you find any of our articles, free resources and posts interesting, or possibly useful to others, please like and share it on Social Media by clicking on the icons below. For more interesting articles and information on Family Law, view our articles and Q&A page. If you have a family law related legal issue and you want someone to answer or reply to it, feel free to post it on our Family Law Blog. Therefore, kindly like and share. Should you require any other legal services and advice, not related to family law, visit Private Legal.

Posted on 11 February 2025 by Telelaw