Commonly asked questions about divorce in South Africa.

The South African Courts are granting divorces to people on a daily basis. Some divorces were initiated a few weeks ago, and others go back several years. The distinction between couples who obtained a divorce in a matter of weeks and those who waited for years is straightforward. Those who chose to wait a few weeks realised that fighting was futile, and by getting divorced sooner, they could move on with their lives more quickly.

Our unopposed divorce service

If your marriage has broken down and you and your spouse agree to get divorced, talk to us about your uncontested divorce options. We guarantee that your divorce will be resolved swiftly and with minimal stress and anxiety. Here are some frequently asked questions about divorce. If you have any particular questions, don’t hesitate to schedule a consultation with us.

What are the costs of an unopposed divorce?

The costs of an unopposed divorce would vary. That would depend on the law firm and the issues involved. We offer an unopposed divorce at a fixed fee.

What questions to ask when considering divorce?

The most important question to ask when considering divorce is whether your marriage can be saved. If your marriage cannot be saved, then a divorce may be the best thing for you.

What is the requirement for a divorce in Court?

For a court to divorce you, the Court has to be convinced on a few aspects. They relate to the issue or jurisdiction; you are married, and the marriage has broken down irretrievably. If there are minor children involved, the Court would want to be convinced that their best interests are being upheld.

What is the biggest challenge of divorce?

The biggest challenge in divorce is for the parties to accept that their marriage is over.

What not to do when asking for a divorce?

Do not agree on things you may regret later—for example, agreeing to relinquish assets you may want to keep.

What to do before telling your spouse you want a divorce?

Make sure you want a divorce.

What to do before telling your wife you want a divorce?

Make sure you want a divorce.

What is the first step when you want a divorce?

It would be best if you saw a lawyer.

What are my rights as a wife in a divorce in South Africa?

If you were maintained by your husband during the marriage, you may have a right to personal maintenance or alimony.

How do I start a divorce process?

The divorce process starts with a Summons.

How much does divorce cost in South Africa?

It can range from a few thousand rands. You can also do it yourself for free.

How long does a divorce take in South Africa?

I can take a few weeks if it is unopposed or a few years if opposed. It depends on the Court as well. Some courts are very busy.

What is the first step to divorce in South Africa?

It is to institute if at Court.

What is a free divorce in South Africa?

It is where you do not make use of a lawyer. You can do the divorce yourself.

How can I speed up my divorce in South Africa?

Try to settle the divorce.

What happens to the provident fund when you divorce?

If you are married in a community of property, the non-member spouse should receive half.

How much is a wife entitled to in a divorce pension?

If you are married in a community of property, the wife is entitled to half.

How long after divorce can you remarry in South Africa?

Immediately.

Can I claim my husband’s pension after the divorce in South Africa?

Yes, you can.

What is spousal maintenance in South Africa?

It is where your spouse has to continue supporting you after the marriage.

How long does a pension fund take to pay out after divorce?

Usually between two to three months.

How long does it take to get money from GEPF after divorce?

It is best to contact them. However, it is estimated to take about two to three months.

Does GEPF pay a lump sum?

They should pay what the divorce order says.

Who qualifies for GEPF?

A spouse is someone who is married to the member.

How do I claim my spouse’s pension after divorce?

You should claim before the divorce. If after, you must approach the Court.

What are the spousal benefits of GEPF?

You should contact them.

How is the Gepf payout calculated?

You should contact them.

What is the final salary for Gepf?

You should contact them.

How much is a lump sum from the final salary pension?

It will usually be 50 % if you are married in a community of property.

Can my wife claim half of my pension?

Yes.

How is spouse pension calculated?

It is calculated at the value of the divorce.

How can I check my GEPF balance?

Contact them.

What is rule 43 in South Africa for divorce?

It is a procedure in the High Court where you claim child maintenance, custody or contribution towards legal costs pending the divorce finalisation.

Who loses the most in a divorce?

The children, if the parties keep fighting.

Do I have to support my wife after the divorce?

No, unless a court orders you to do so.

What are the stages of divorce for a woman?

There are no specific stages.

How do I decide when to divorce?

If your marriage has broken down and cannot be saved.

What is the number 1 reason for divorce?

Parties are incompatible.

What are the three effects of divorce?

It varies between people.

Who initiates divorce more?

One would have to look at the divorce statistics.

Can a divorce be denied in South Africa?

Yes, it can.

What should I ask myself before divorce?

Can the marriage be saved?

What are the disadvantages of divorce?

You are no longer together as a family unit.

What should you think about before divorce?

Can the marriage relationship be saved?

What to do before telling your spouse you want a divorce?

Speak to a divorce lawyer.

What to do before telling your wife you want a divorce?

Speak to a divorce lawyer.

Why should you never bring up divorce?

You should only bring it up if the marriage has broken down.

What are my rights as a wife in a divorce in South Africa?

You have a right to alimony if you can prove your claim.

What is the pensionable salary?

A salary where the pension is paid.

How is pension calculated?

It would be best if you spoke to your employer.

What is the rule 58 in divorce?

It is where you claim interim maintenance, custody or a contribution towards costs in the magistrates court.

Is everything split 50-50 in a divorce in South Africa?

Only if you are married in a community of property.

What happens to the provident fund when you divorce?

If you are married in a community of property, the non-member spouse will receive half the value as of the date of the divorce.

How much tax do you pay on a divorce settlement in South Africa?

You should speak to an accountant.

What documents are needed for divorce in South Africa?

Marriage certificate for the Court.

How much does it cost to file for divorce in SA?

From free to a few thousand.

What is a free divorce in South Africa?

It is where you do it yourself, or a lawyer does not charge you.

How long does it take to Finalise a divorce in South Africa?

From a few weeks if all is agreed upon to a few years if the parties cannot.

How long after divorce can you remarry in South Africa?

Immediately.

Who should file for divorce first in South Africa?

Any spouse.

Who gets custody of the child in divorce in South Africa?

The parent that can best care for the child.  

Commonly asked questions about divorce in South Africa.

The South African Courts are granting divorces to people on a daily basis. Some divorces were initiated a few weeks ago, and others go back several years. The distinction between couples who obtained a divorce in a matter of weeks and those who waited for years is straightforward. Those who chose to wait a few weeks realised that fighting was futile, and by getting divorced sooner, they could move on with their lives more quickly.

Our unopposed divorce service

If your marriage has broken down and you and your spouse agree to get divorced, talk to us about your uncontested divorce options. We guarantee that your divorce will be resolved swiftly and with minimal stress and anxiety.

Here are some frequently asked questions about divorce. If you have any particular questions, don’t hesitate to schedule a consultation with us.

What are the costs of an unopposed divorce?

The costs of an unopposed divorce would vary. That would depend on the law firm and the issues involved. We offer an unopposed divorce at a fixed fee.

What questions to ask when considering divorce?

The most important question to ask when considering divorce is whether your marriage can be saved. If your marriage cannot be saved, then a divorce may be the best thing for you.

What is the requirement for a divorce in Court?

For a court to divorce you, the Court has to be convinced on a few aspects. They relate to the issue or jurisdiction; you are married, and the marriage has broken down irretrievably. If there are minor children involved, the Court would want to be convinced that their best interests are being upheld.

What is the biggest challenge of divorce?

The biggest challenge in divorce is for the parties to accept that their marriage is over.

What not to do when asking for a divorce?

Do not agree on things you may regret later—for example, agreeing to relinquish assets you may want to keep.

What to do before telling your spouse you want a divorce?

Make sure you want a divorce.

What to do before telling your wife you want a divorce?

Make sure you want a divorce.

What is the first step when you want a divorce?

It would be best if you saw a lawyer.

What are my rights as a wife in a divorce in South Africa?

If you were maintained by your husband during the marriage, you may have a right to personal maintenance or alimony.

How do I start a divorce process?

The divorce process starts with a Summons.

How much does divorce cost in South Africa?

It can range from a few thousand rands. You can also do it yourself for free.

How long does a divorce take in South Africa?

I can take a few weeks if it is unopposed or a few years if opposed. It depends on the Court as well. Some courts are very busy.

What is the first step to divorce in South Africa?

It is to institute if at Court.

What is a free divorce in South Africa?

It is where you do not make use of a lawyer. You can do the divorce yourself.

How can I speed up my divorce in South Africa?

Try to settle the divorce.

What happens to the provident fund when you divorce?

If you are married in a community of property, the non-member spouse should receive half.

How much is a wife entitled to in a divorce pension?

If you are married in a community of property, the wife is entitled to half.

How long after divorce can you remarry in South Africa?

Immediately.

Can I claim my husband’s pension after the divorce in South Africa?

Yes, you can.

What is spousal maintenance in South Africa?

It is where your spouse has to continue supporting you after the marriage.

How long does a pension fund take to pay out after divorce?

Usually between two to three months.

How long does it take to get money from GEPF after divorce?

It is best to contact them. However, it is estimated to take about two to three months.

Does GEPF pay a lump sum?

They should pay what the divorce order says.

Who qualifies for GEPF?

A spouse is someone who is married to the member.

How do I claim my spouse’s pension after divorce?

You should claim before the divorce. If after, you must approach the Court.

What are the spousal benefits of GEPF?

You should contact them.

How is the Gepf payout calculated?

You should contact them.

What is the final salary for Gepf?

You should contact them.

How much is a lump sum from the final salary pension?

It will usually be 50 % if you are married in a community of property.

Can my wife claim half of my pension?

Yes.

How is spouse pension calculated?

It is calculated at the value of the divorce.

How can I check my GEPF balance?

Contact them.

What is rule 43 in South Africa for divorce?

It is a procedure in the High Court where you claim child maintenance, custody or contribution towards legal costs pending the divorce finalisation.

Who loses the most in a divorce?

The children, if the parties keep fighting.

Do I have to support my wife after the divorce?

No, unless a court orders you to do so.

What are the stages of divorce for a woman?

There are no specific stages.

How do I decide when to divorce?

If your marriage has broken down and cannot be saved.

What is the number 1 reason for divorce?

Parties are incompatible.

What are the three effects of divorce?

It varies between people.

Who initiates divorce more?

One would have to look at the divorce statistics.

Can a divorce be denied in South Africa?

Yes, it can.

What should I ask myself before divorce?

Can the marriage be saved?

What are the disadvantages of divorce?

You are no longer together as a family unit.

What should you think about before divorce?

Can the marriage relationship be saved?

What to do before telling your spouse you want a divorce?

Speak to a divorce lawyer.

What to do before telling your wife you want a divorce?

Speak to a divorce lawyer.

Why should you never bring up divorce?

You should only bring it up if the marriage has broken down.

What are my rights as a wife in a divorce in South Africa?

You have a right to alimony if you can prove your claim.

What is the pensionable salary?

A salary where the pension is paid.

How is pension calculated?

It would be best if you spoke to your employer.

What is the rule 58 in divorce?

It is where you claim interim maintenance, custody or a contribution towards costs in the magistrates court.

Is everything split 50-50 in a divorce in South Africa?

Only if you are married in a community of property.

What happens to the provident fund when you divorce?

If you are married in a community of property, the non-member spouse will receive half the value as of the date of the divorce.

How much tax do you pay on a divorce settlement in South Africa?

You should speak to an accountant.

What documents are needed for divorce in South Africa?

Marriage certificate for the Court.

How much does it cost to file for divorce in SA?

From free to a few thousand.

What is a free divorce in South Africa?

It is where you do it yourself, or a lawyer does not charge you.

How long does it take to Finalise a divorce in South Africa?

From a few weeks if all is agreed upon to a few years if the parties cannot.

How long after divorce can you remarry in South Africa?

Immediately.

Who should file for divorce first in South Africa?

Any spouse.

Who gets custody of the child in divorce in South Africa?

The parent that can best care for the child.

 

Related Post

View question and answers regarding child maintenance posted on this website in the past. You may find some of the answers useful.

My son is now 10 years old when he was much younger his father would pay here and there in all the years i have been supporting him… i recently got married to the man that loves my son dearly as his own. we want to change his surname also but i need his fathers permission. he said its fine but i need him to send me forms to say i may i have been wait more than over a year now and he keeps saying he is going to send it. i feel if he doesnt want me to change his surname then he should pay and help …..which he has not done in so many years.  please advise me The father will always have an obligation to support his child.

Father and mother separated when she was pregnant

I also have a question to ask or questions rather….my sons father and i separated when i was just a few weeks pregnant, he left me for someone else. I went through the whole pregnancy alone and he never owned up to it. To easy the pressure on my pregnant self i left him alone…….we talked here and there and would even buy preparatory baby stuff for the unborn child upon being asked  only two times that happened. We never quiet spoke and when the baby was born as much as i hated it i knew i had to let him see him n put our differences aside its like we started on a new page. However, upon being asked to support the child he always made it feel like i was nagging or if not made t purely look lyk he was doing me a favour. Every month i constantly have to remind him of the support needed sometyms he goes months before assisting. I just stopped asking him altogether  and i blocked him on any other platform such that he hasnt seen his son for nearly 3 months, i have been taking care of everyrhing by myself and eve  when he gave something it was very little in comparison with what he gets and i make way less than him and have filed for child support with hearing to be held in april…..in light of these circumstances is there any chance that i wont have  the courts favour in winning the case? Did.i do anything to jeorpadise the case from the events? And what proof or tips will i need to win the case?

I have a 10 years old that am not allowed to see.

when I wanted to see him ill be told I will never see him and be told that they don’t need me and my money, they are better man out there who can be a father to him. I still continued paying. when I wanted my son to visit on holidays .. I was being told he will never go there, my son told me that her mother said he is going to die if he come visit me. December last year I did as id used to previous years ,and that is to ask for him so I get buy him clothes . and I was told I wont get him. then he is taken to kzn for holidays.. they will never tell me when they taking him away which is something I always find out from his aunt when am calling since the mother doesn’t stay with him.

2010 I asked my sister to help with medical aid which was used wrongly by taking other kids to the doctors using his name , one doctor told me he is chasing them away cause what they are doing is not right, last year they have  exhorted the medical aid in January alone and was told that they have never taken him to the doctor which also gave me problems at work cause am working with fire and that is why the company help with payment.

in ask for him December and the same thing happened and I told her am going to stop giving her sister money for the child cause he is not a charity where you can put money and don’t care what happen to it. so I want to give him love instead of money that he doesn’t even get to see or know that is from me, and that money wont even give him love that he needs. I stopped giving her money and yesterday I bought clothes and she throe them away saying we will meet in court. what to do in this matter.   My partner is always giving me a problem when he supposed to pay Mantainance, but he end up paid,but it hurts me because I Dont do things in time for the kidz as he pay me late. We advise you to approach the Children’s Court. If they have already done so, then state you case. The Court would do what is best for the child.,1040, Good day   Have a look at the articles on www.ourlawyer.co.za for some guidance.  

Me and my husband are looking for advise he has a child that is 10 years old he pays maintenance 1000 every month .

I have two kids of my previous relationship that I support alone . Their father past away. Me and my husband dint  have kids together so he could afford to pay the 1000 every month .  God has blessed us with twins due in June now . Things are abut tough financially . We would like to know can he go to court and ask if he can reduce maintenance to 500 every month. Hi, my name is Noluvuyo I have a six months old baby girl who’s father is original from Lesotho but staying here in SA he doesn’t want to support the child since she was born apparently he got married whii the child was 3mnths old. We advise you approach the maintenance court.  

How much is your consultation fee?,

Good day   Please click on this <a href=https://www.ourlawyer.co.za/service-custody-divorce-maintenance/>link</a> hi,I am young mother of 5years old boy,his father leaved me when I was 2 months pregnant, after the child born he supported him for 7 months then since he leave to maintain the child, I once open maintenance case for him but I never complete it because his wife claimed to kill  my baby,so now I want to go for maintenance again. is that possible?, Yes, you may approach the maintenance again.

 hi i am Xoliswa i have a problem with my baby daddy i have a 8 month baby girl he has not been supporting her for since she was born, when i was pregnant he was supportive the problem persistent when i gave birth he only gave 500 that all every time when i am asking for cash for the baby he will promise to give when the month end he will come up with different stories.

than it changed and said it not his child i told him to do a DNA test he promised to do it but he never did i went in one of the court here in Johannesburg to request a DNA i was told that i will have to apply for a maintenance 1st they gave a maintenance form to take home and fill in and i told the baby daddy that because he does not want to support his child am putting him on maintenance he apologized  and promised to support the child he supposed to start supporting the child last month the month ended he came up with stories saying he is sick i told him i will take him to court he said it fine with him i advised him that if he want a DNA everything will be on him but he did not reply.

 hi i am Xoliswa i have a problem with my baby daddy i have a 8 month baby girl he has not been supporting her for since she was born, when i was pregnant he was supportive the problem persistent when i gave birth he only gave 500 that all every time when i am asking for cash for the baby he will promise to give when the month end he will come up with different stories,than it changed and said it not his child i told him to do a DNA test he promised to do it but he never did i went in one of the court here in Johannesburg to request a DNA

i was told that i will have to apply for a maintenance 1st they gave a maintenance form to take home and fill in and i told the baby daddy that because he does not want to support his child am putting him on maintenance he apologized  and promised to support the child he supposed to start supporting the child last month the month ended he came up with stories saying he is sick i told him i will take him to court he said it fine with him i advised him that if he want a DNA everything will be on him but he did not reply. Hi i want to apply for maintance but i do not know the defended’s home and or work address. Can i apply without them? You Can still Apply. The Maintenance Court has investigators. Hi I’m ntombozuko I have six yes old bby gal but her father he pay maintenance know I’m 6months pregnant with different father but he dump me can a go to court for father child maintenance please I need help,1210, I am currently in the application process, however wanted to find out how to claim for outstanding maintenance fees not paid for over a year. How do you go about this? Thank you.

 Another question? Is it compulsory to exchange documentation (Pay slips, bank statements etc.) with the father as ordered by the Maintenance officer. I do not feel that this is needed as I will be presenting these directly to the maintenance officer/court?,

Hi good day ,My childs father has never contributed for the last 2 and a half  years since my child was born. He claimed it was not his court made us do a DNA and came back 99.99 % .The court only wanted him to give 1000 per month ,but says nothing about medical aid,clothing or even for the years he never paid . Do you think im unreasonable to ask them to do a financial investigation cause he did not present a payslip or nothing .Do you think i have the right to ask for the previous years he never paid. Hi i’m Abigail. I have a 7 months old baby girl. I am currently unemployed and studying part time. My problem started when I gave birth, I asked the father of my child to help me with buying clothes for the baby which he never did. Told me he doesnt have money &amp; is busy saving for the December holidays. I supported the child with the help of my mother. Then came Dec ge gave me R1000 to buy baby clothes after that he never bothered himself by supporting the baby.

I recently asked him to buy baby formula because I do not have money, its been 3 weeks of waiting till to date. Instead he has resorted in not answering my calls and messages. How do I go about with the process of applying child support as I do not keep the till slips that could be proof?

Good day. We advise you approach the maintenance court in your area ASAP. They will start the process. Yes, keep proof of expenses and take it with you., It may be best for you to speak to the Maintenance Court about those issues., We would advise that you do a full and frank disclosure of your financial position., Good day.  I have been divorced for 2 years.  My husband stopped paying after he received a lump sum from my pension.  I approached the court in January last year to garnish his salary.  Every month i would follow up and there was always a huge back log.  Eventually in May he was retrenched and was due to receive his pension.  I immediately requested an attorney to stop the payout.  Suddenly my lost file was found and we appeard in court.  He was told to pay the arears and he requested for the maintenance to be halfed as he was now unemployed.  he got married two weeks later.  They have been going on extravegant holidays , bought fancy cars but i have not received anything for my kids.  The court granted this reduced amount but since then he has not paid a cent.  It is now going for a year. Divorce atorneys are so expensive per consultation.  Do you have offices in Johannesburg and how much is it for a consultation?  I dont want to go to the maintenance court myself and feel that i do need representation.  Please let me know.

We are struggling in the maintenance case  my for sister, where court pass order of maintenance, Its been 1 year opposite party didn’t pay maintenance, Police is also not taking action. and family court judge saying I can only issue the DW, rest is on opposite party to pay.

Good day. We are based in Cape Town, and only have referring attorneys there. The best we can do is to set up a telephonic consultation for legal advice. You may contact us on 0214243487. Good day. Yes, you can approach the maintenance court. It is a criminal offence not to pay maintenance if so ordered. If that is the case, lay a complaint at the maintenance court. Hello my name is Bianca.I just had a question regarding my baby daddy not wanting to pop out a cent to prepare for our unborn child.is there anyway I can force him to prepare for our unborn child? And might I add it was his idea I fall pregnant!! This is a type of matter which is best to speak to the maintenance court about. The ideal is to wait for the child to be born and then claim for lying in expenses, birth costs etc. But see what the court has to say.  

I have a 2 year old son . and make a decent salary however I have a lot of debts to my name of which I’m planning to clear by the end of this year.

Now I had asked the father of my child to pay just the school fees for him and buy him nappies, while I will take care of  his food , medical aid and clothing. He told me that he cant afford the first school I opted for because its close to my work place (which was R1700) 2 weeks later he bought a brand new car (one of the expensive brands)  so we went for the second one (at R390)  and nappies , he just recently told me he cant afford to buy the nappies anymore as his financially unable too. My worry about filling is the fear of losing cause he has another son now which he pays everything for as his partner doesn’t work apparently will this affect my case should I apply for support?   We still advise you apply for child support from the father at the Maintenance Court.

 Good morning. Is it possible that a father does not get a summon and is not aware about the case even though the date was given? Is it also a right thing to find a way to get the summon to the father yourself? Please take me through the process on how does it work.

Good day The summons must be served on the father. If they cannot find the father, they must serve him in an alternative manner with the consent of the court. Good Day   I am applying for an increase in Maintenance – had first meeting with MO and ex husband on the 25th April….he had a lawyer and they did not want to discuss anything other than taking the matter to Trial. The MO was not very helpful at all but rather rude. Did not try and assist me at all – should I make a formal complaint with the Court Manager – please advise   Now I need to email my bundle to his lawyer and they will do same – we have no contact or anything till Trial – is this how it should work – I feel i am being bullied into going directly to Trial?,1291, Hi..I have a 1yr old daughter.. Her father is hesitant towards supporting the child..sometimes he doesn’t bother supporting..sometimes he does support but not with the money we agreed on..sometimes he is nowhere to be found.. Can I apply to maintenance?, Good day   Yes you can still apply. We advise that you approach the maintenance court ASAP  

This seems like a situation you need to see a lawyer face to face about. If you feel aggrieved, we cant see anything wrong with speaking to the court manager.

Hi i am father. My chils was born when i was still in varsity and i spent three years doing my articles. Now that i have employment, i decided to put my child on medical aid and paying 800 every month but the mother insisted to approach the maintenance officer for an order while i am paying maintenance and her reason is that she does not trust me.,1317, Hello I have 2 kids with my ex we broke because he verbally abused infront of the kids at my parents place last year October them my mom told him to never set his foot in her house meaning he won’t be able to see his kids then he stopped supporting his kids, my mom told him to come pay damage money before he can see his kids due to what he did to me at my parents. So can I take him to maintenance Court even when he doesn’t see his kids I mean its his fault cos he never reached out he just kept quite. You can still take him to the maintenance court.

 It is up to the maintenance court to grant and order or now. You need to bring up a good argument as to why an order should not be granted.

I have a 14month old daughter. Her has given milk and food items one or twice in the 1st 6months of her life since then nothing because he says he doesnt have the money. I recently found out that when was born he was in the process of buying a house yet couldnt assist with the basic needs of our child. He has 3 other children which he has given a roof over there head and pay’s there medical aid and has education policies for them yet our child gets nothing from him. I also now need to start looking for a creche for next year and the fees are R3000 per month in 2019. I have taken him to Maintenance court we are only meeting in November 2018. What are my options untill then. It is unfortunate that the Maintenance Court is giving you a date so late. Maybe see if you can get a lawyer to speed things up or send him a letter.

 If the court decides on a maintenance amount and the father pays it does that mean visitation rights are also guaranteed. He has only recently asked to spend time with our daughter. Before he never made any effort and now everything must be on his terms.

Visitation rights and an obligation to pay child support are two separate issues. However, paying child support does in some way, most of the time play a role in visitation matters. Good day   The father pays R2000 for our baby however  I still need assistance with paying a nanny/daycare, he refuses. I’ve asked him to add the baby on his medical aid so I can cancel mine and pay for day care, he refuses.  

People tell me, R2000 is enough if I go to court it will be reduced. I don’t know what to do because i really can’t afford a nanny and i need to go to work.

  This guy owns properties, he pays more than R120 000 school fees for his 2 children a year, lives in one of the most expensive surbubs in Johannesburg, owns cars.   His excuse is, the mother of his 2 children doesn’t pay maintenance – he is doing everything on his own.   He says he will get an expensive lawyer who will make sure i get less than what i get. Please advise me, We advise you go to the maintenance court. They will assess the matter the father of my child failed to appear in court twice and they told me the Npa issued subpoena to him.What would happen next time I go there.,1431, That question is best to ask the Court.,1436, Hello, Please I beg for sincere and if possible very polite feedback please because I am a man I know things are already against my odds so please bare with me and forgive me if I offend anyone, I am just looking for a better understanding of things I may not be well certain of.

So, my partner and I recently split up and likewise she went away with my (our) little girl. The problem is I used to support my daughter starting from 100% financially, anything school related or other social related activities. The mother worked for a few months after she was born and got fired then after.

Unfortunately, she has not quite contributed to the child’s financial needs, 2y7m later still incapable of offering support because initially she was obviously unemployed but eventually I realized she just didn’t want to make effort to find another job. For over 2 years as we’re both still young and on my side have not saved much money, it put a lot of strain on my financial capabilities as I would’ve to financially support 4 people, myself, herself, our daughter as well her first son.

For many reasons this relationship didn’t quite work and I called it quit. At the moment I am required to cater 100% for my daughter as she’s not working or even not making effort to find a job and for whatever reasons I’ve now been deemed unsafe for my daughter so, apparently she cannot visit me. As above, the little girl is 2y7m now and it’s hurting me that I am forced to provide 100% for her because the mother is unable yet I cannot spend time with her, apparently in the absence of the mother. Not that I’ve a problem with that but her mother and myself just don’t get along so it’s easy to turn my time with my daughter into my fight with her mother. I am confused now because I am hesitate to go 100% on this, I know that my child in the end will suffer so it seems as if I do not have a choice but to continue giving everything I can to my girl as I would when we lived together even if I cannot spend time with her without the presence of the mother. Though I know in actual fact me not spending time with my daughter she’ll either way suffer from no longer having the father interaction she had when we lived together. If I had to present my daily duties: Take her to school, fetch her from school, sometimes change her nappy and wash her in the evening, sometimes make food for everyone which of course daughter fed from, every night take her to sleep. Shelter I provided, finance I provided, social life I provided, mommy could obviously do some small daily stuff if she felt like it.

I really don’t know how well I can conquer this because at the moment I know the child is just suffering and my unwillingness to go 100% as I would before but this time without being able to spend quality time with her means things will just get worse for my little girl.

From what i understand the mother is stubborn and in this case just using the girl to feel power over me because she knows full well I had so much daily interaction with my daughter which has all just disappeared. Really i am confused perhaps I’ve not even expressed myself properly here. But perhaps anyone with similar experience or better understand and knowledge in this regard kindly help out a young fella take a better direction here. Good day  

We advise that you approach the Children’s Court in the area where the mother lives and apply for proper contact to your child.

Good day I’m Lindokuhle but have a query about my sister Sophie and her kids father about maintenance,they have been together for eight years and had a son and separated after when she was pregnant for the second time he left her for someone else,Sophie applied for maintainance and the court granted her R1000 per month and R1200 for winter clothes once a year for both the kids and my sister is not working.The father has now two kids with the new woman and the new woman has a first born who’s not fathered by my babies father.Sophie’s  kids are not in the medical aid they go to public clinic whenever they are sick and attend public school,on the last maintainance it appeared that he earns R30 000 and has has a house and car so I’m confused how the court allowed him to pay such a small money for both his kids,now my sis wants to re-apply for maintainance what should she do to receive a proper outcome? regards Hi there  

need an advise I am a father of three girls we always have conflicts in the house with their mother,now she was moved out from our house by her mother s decision and she confirmed to me that she is not breaking up with me she loves me ,she needs time leaving in her mom s roof. The mother went to local child maintenance social workers which is surprising, I was requested to come see them. I really don’t know where these thing leads me because I love my daughters. And I would always want to leave around them.,1459,

The Court would decide what is best for the children. Good day   As long as all relevant information is before the court, the court would decide what is fair. This is based on the income and expenses of the parents and the needs of the child. Hi i have a 7 year old son by a woman.. I married the year after he was born to my wife For the first 3 years i have been supporting him.. For 2 years i have been unemployed.. But my wife . Mother and sister helped me supporting him .. After the 2 years i have been started working again.. And  have supporting my son ever since… R800.00.. But in that time we had arguments whom have let to.. That i could not see my son.. Only when  the mother decides when i can see him.. And she filed for maintenance she wants more R1000.. But i only get pain R5000 a month.. Where i have 3 childrem to support.. And petrol expenses to get to work.. Ens. 2 months ago her mother sended me msgs stateing that he daugther is an alkolic and she uses my childs supporting for the own luxury.. Nd she has also has 3 children of her own.. Whereby im the only father of the one whom pays child support… Any advice,1471, Hi, visit your nearest maintenance court on this issue. hi i have 2 children.their father is only sending me 1500 every month n some times 1300 he has medical aid but didn’t not put them on the medical aid. December and winter he doesn’t help in buying them clothes. can the court grant medical aid for the children since he has one and can the able to make him pay 2000 for both children. pls advice.

 The court can make any order if it is fair an reasonable. If the facts support your application, the Court would Order it.

Hi am single mom who applied for a maintenance order last year at rabasotho magistrate court we were told to opt for a settlement out of court since the maintenance officer was absent now the person has been so behind on the maintainance order n I was told I have to re apply and the problem is his no longer working at the same company and has moved from where he lived so my question is what do I do incase of that situation.,1548, HI , the father of my child has always made false promises about helping with the birth of our sun (financially ) my son is now 10months and his father has only sent money three time since he was born , can I include the medical bills for the birth of my son and his hospital bill as he was admitted after birth and I had to use my medical aid to pay for all the expenses when I apply for maintenance. Hello I have took the father of my twins to court february his bin delaying to come until 31 may he was making excuses and he just made sure he buy second car and another house on march n came with those in court and he has other 3 kids that he was not supporting for more than 12years he started giving them money march and bring the proof I became angry and left while we were still talking with him and prosituter I took a walk and came back and went to the prosituter and said sorry I became angry and left but now im back can we continue she started shouting me saying I cant help u I closed the file and I had u and other mothers u were gossiping about me outside saying I take man’s side so I cant help u so I went to another room to ask her coligue what to to do so they say I must come so that we can start the process again from start so what do I do.,1558, Yes you can. We advise that you approach the maintenance court again.

 Hello, my son is 14 years now his father and I broke up when he was only 2 years, I never take him to court but now I want to make an application at maintenance court the problem is I know his name,surname and physical address bt I don’t know where he is working. My question is will they be able to help me at court?

The Court has maintenance investigators who could assist in tracking him down.

What are child custody disputes? Read some questions and answer from mother and father.

Child custody disputes are one aspect of family law that keeps both lawyers and the courts busy. Although child custody disputes may seem simple in the eyes of the outside observer, it is not always so for the parties involved.  Parents care much more for their children than they do for worldly things.  Therefore, should they experience problems concerning their children, it often causes a lot of anxiety and stress. Below are some questions mothers and fathers usually pose online when it comes to child custody disputes. Feel free to pose your questions below.

What are the rights of an unmarried father to his children?

Fathers of children born out of wedlock do not automatically have rights towards their children. For you to form part of such a child’s life you need to fulfil the requirements of section 21 of the Children’s Act, which in short states:
  • At the time of the child’s birth, you are living with the mother in a permanent life-partnership; and
  • You contribute or have attempted in good faith to contribute to the child’s upbringing for a reasonable period;
  • You contribute or have attempted in good faith to contribute towards expenses in connection with the maintenance of the child for a reasonable period.

May an unmarried father be the primary caregiver of a child born out of wedlock?

Many fathers would have been married to the mother. Others would have meaningfully partaken in the child’s life from birth. Therefore, there should generally be no difference between a child born from a marriage and a child born outside of marriage when it comes to fathers’ rights.  To take the statement further, it is possible for a father of a child born out of wedlock to be the primary caregiver of the child, where the mother is only entitled to see the child at certain times and circumstances, or not at all.

How hard is it for a father to get custody or primary care over a child?

If the mother has primary care over a minor child,  and the father has parental rights and responsibilities over such a child,  he can obtain custody or primary care over the child.  What the law looks at is what is in the child’s best interest should such a request be made.  If it is indeed in the child’s best interest for the father to have custody over the minor child,  then, under those circumstances, the court would make such an order.

How can a father get full custody of his kids?

If the mother has full custody over the minor child, a father would have to prove that such a situation is not in the minor child’s best interests.  Therefore, he would have to make a case for the minor children to be in his primary care or that he should have full custody over the child.

Does the court make use of child care experts when deciding who should have custody?

For a court to determine whether or not to change the primary caregiver of the minor child,  the court may require assistance from other parties.  For example, a social worker,  psychologist,  or the office of the family advocate.  This is not a legal requirement. However, a court would be guided by other experts especially so if the primary care of the minor child is to change.

Does the dad ever get custody?

Fathers often get custody over minor children. In other words, the child would primarily reside with the father. You could say he would have primary care over the minor child. This can be done by the parents agreeing to the father having custody or primary care.  The other way is if the father approaches the court and the court determines that it is in the child’s best interest if the father has custody over the child or primary care.

What can be used against you in a custody battle?

The ultimate decider on the outcome of a child custody battle would be what is in the child’s best interest.  Therefore, various factors have to be considered in determining what is in the child’s best interest.  If a party can prove that a child is being unreasonably neglected while in the other party’s care,  then that would be information that can be used against the other party.  One such factor would be the abuse of alcohol,  drugs,  and abusing and neglecting the child.

How often do fathers get full custody?

Fathers often get full custody in child care matters.  The law does not have a preference over whether or not a father should have custody or whether or not a mother should have custody over a minor child.  What the law is concerned with,  is what is best for the minor child.  Many fathers can better care for a minor child than the mother.  In such a case the court would grant full custody to the father.

Why do mothers have more rights than fathers?

In most cases, it is the mother who takes primary care over a child after birth.  This is so as a child needs the care of a mother from birth. A mother would usually breastfeed a child and the father would be the one who takes on other responsibilities. This role of the mother as the primary caregiver for the child usually continues until the child can look after his or her self.  This role of caring for the child works well if both the father and mother and children live in the same household.

What happens when parents separate in child custody matters?

When parents separate or do not live together, the issue arises as to where the child should live.  In most cases, the parties would agree that the child should reside with the mother.  When they do not agree on this issue the matter usually makes its way to the court.  This is when the court will have to determine what is best for the minor child. If the court determines that the minor child would best be cared for by the mother, then the court would make such an order.  However, if the court determines that even though the mother cared for the minor children since their birth and now unable to do so, the court would have to determine what is best for the child. If the father should care for the minor child,  then, under those circumstances, the court would order that the primary care of the minor children be awarded to the father.

What do judges look for in child custody cases?

It would be difficult to give a general overview of what judges look for in child custody cases. This is so as each family is different and the facts surrounding a custody case would be different.  However, the court is guided by the best interest of the child principle.  The court would have to consider the age of the child, his or her needs, as well as the capability of either parent properly caring for the minor child.  In many cases, the issues that the court will have to look at will be simple, but this is not always the case.

Why is it so hard for fathers to get custody?

Generally, fathers are not the primary caregivers of minor children. If a father was the primary caregiver of a minor child since his or her birth, and should a dispute arise sometime later, then under the circumstances, the father’s case would be much easier. However, because mothers are generally the primary caregivers of minor children and they looked after the children for quite some time and has gained a lot of experience and knowledge into how to care for a specific child, it would be easier for the mother, under those circumstances, to convince the court that the child would be best cared for should he or she remain in her care.

What makes a mother unfit in the eyes of the court?

A mother would be seen as being unfit if she neglects the child. For example, she abuses alcohol and does not feed the child or clean the child. Furthermore, she would not care for the child reasonably. The child would be allowed to miss school, or not do homework etc. Objectively speaking, and considering everything, the child is being neglected.

How can a woman lose custody of her child?

She can lose a child if she proves that she cannot take care of a child. The child is being neglected in her care and being abused in the process.

Why do mothers automatically receive custody?

As mothers give birth to a child and usually care for them from their birth, it is easy to demonstrate that they can care better for the child than the father. This is not always factually the case and a father can prove that he can care for the child much better than the mother and obtain custody over the child.   We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well. Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links: Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws

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