Child Custody battles. What are the frequently asked questions mothers and fathers pose when it comes to children disputes?

Our courts are inundated with child custody matters. Parents who were once in love and supportive of each other, now find themselves embroiled in a very sensitive and emotional legal battle. The question that is posed; who can best care for the minor child? Is it the mother or the father? Should things remain the same, or is a change warranted. As you would see below, when deciding on where a child should primarily reside, the court would need to determine what is best for the child. The court is hardly concerned with the wishes and preferences of the parents. Their interests are secondary. However, the court has to consider all factors. That includes the domestic situation of both parents and their ability to care for the child.

I am worried about my child custody case. How can a father lose a child custody battle?

A father will lose a child custody battle if he cannot prove that it is in the child’s best interest that he has custody over the child concerned. It is important when either parent wants a change in the living arrangement for minor children, they need to focus on what is best for the kids, and not them.

I am the biological father of a 10-year-old child. What percentage of fathers win child custody cases?

That would be impossible to say. However, there is an increase in fathers “winning” child custody cases. It must be stated that each custody case is different. Therefore, unless the facts favour a parent having custody over the other, the status quo would remain. Moreover, a father who does not have a case to start with will lose his case. The same would apply to a mother should the father have primary care over the child.

Is it possible for a judge or magistrate to give 50/50 custody over a 15-year-old child?

Yes, it can happen if the parents agree to it. The other way is if the court finds it in the child’s best interests to do so. It all depends on the facts of the case. If parents live far from each other, then it won’t make sense. The same would apply if one parent works late in the evening and unable to care for the children during the day.

Who is most likely to get custody of a child who is not attending school yet?

The parent who the child is more accustomed to, and can better care for the child would most likely get custody over a child who is not attending school yet. Here one has to look at physical, emotional and psychological care as well. Other aspects which may be applicable when the child is older is the ability to assist the child with school work and extramural activities.  

I am the biological father of a minor child. How do I prove I am a better parent in court?

You would need to prove that you can care for the child much better than the other parent can. This not only applies to physical needs but also emotional, psychological and educational needs etc. The past is a big determinant of the future. Therefore, if you have always been caring well for the child, then the courts would usually leave things the way they are unless the is a change in circumstances.

I am a single mother fighting to keep my child. How does the court of law determine custody?

Custody is determined based on what is best for the child. The court looks at many factors relevant to your specific situation. These include the ability of the parent to care for the child both physically, emotionally and psychologically. If at the end of the day, the court sees that it would be best for you to have custody, it would order so.

Can text messages be used in a child custody court?

Yes, it can be used if it proves something relevant in a case. For example, the mother saying that she was out whole night partying and left the child with a stranger. The SMS would however not be seen in isolation. The court would have to look at the mother and father’s ability to care for the child. If the father has no experience in caring for the child, then the court would most likely let the minor child remain in the mother’s care.

I just gave birth to my second child. Can a mother lose custody for not having a job?

It is not a requirement to have a job to have custody over a child. If the other parent can contribute towards child maintenance, then that would be used to attend to the needs of the child. Therefore, the mother should apply for more child maintenance if she loses her job.

How can a narcissist win a child custody case?

A narcissist can win a child custody case if he or she can prove that despite being a narcissist, he or she would better care for the child. Being a narcissist does not mean you cannot care for the child. It is also possible that both parents are narcissists. What do you do then? Therefore, the court would look at what is best for the child under the circumstances.

I was never married to my child’s mother. We broke up years ago. When should a father fight for custody?

A parent should always do what he or she thinks is best for the child. If it means fighting for a child, then that is what he or she should do. Therefore, the father should fight for custody if he believes that he can best care for the minor child. If he does not believe he can, then he should leave the child in the mother’s primary care if that is best.

I am unable to speak rationally to the mother of my child. Who gets physical custody?

It is unfortunate when parents fail to speak rationally to each other when it comes to their children. A child must be cared for by the parent who can best physically, emotionally and psychologically care for him or her. It is sometimes hard to determine which parent can best physically care for a minor child. If the matter goes to a court of law, then the parent who can best care for the child primarily would get physical custody of the child.

I do not earn a lot of money. How can I win a child custody case without a lawyer?

Legal services can be very expensive. And some cases can take very long to be finalised. There is however no need to make use of a lawyer in a child custody case. It is however always advisable to make use of one if you can afford it. It is possible to win a child custody case either way if you can prove that you can better care for the child.  

I broke up with the father of my child soon after he was born. Can a good mom lose custody? My child is now 15 years old.

It is very rare for a good mom to lose a child custody case. If there is a custody battle, the father may have to prove that the 15-year-old child wants to live with him and that he can better care for the child despite the mom being good. In this case, the view of the child is taken into consideration. If the father cannot prove that he can better care for the child, then the child would remain with the mother.

I pay child support and regularly try to see my child. Can a father be denied joint custody?

Paying child support and rights of contact are two separate issues. When it comes to issues of custody regarding children, the law looks at what is best for the child concerned. Therefore, yes, a father can be denied joint custody if it is not in the child’s best interests despite him paying child support. The court would also have to look at the mother’s situation if relevant when making an order that the father is denied access.

Can one parent keep a child from the other parent without a court order?

Parents must always act in the child’s best interests. A parent who always had contact or access to a child should continue to do so unless it would be detrimental to the child. Therefore, no, he or she may not keep a child from the other parent unless he or she believes that the child would be in imminent harm or danger. However, we strongly advise that should a parent believe that it is in the child’s best interests not to have contact with the other parent, that he or she first consult with a child care expert, psychologist or social worker. This is important as the other parent may lay a complaint to the police or to the court. You can then say that your decision was based on expert advice. This is especially so if there is a court order in place.

I hate my child’s father. How can I avoid joint custody?

A child should have both parents in his or her life. Therefore, joint custody, if it is in the child’s best interests must be upheld, despite hating the other parent. This should be the case despite the issues the parents have with each other. Having said that, to be successful, you would need to show the court that the child would best be cared for by having one primary caregiver. You would then have been successful in avoiding joint custody.

I can only find a job as an escort. Can you lose custody for escorting?

Escorting, when done lawfully, could lead someone from losing custody if it would affect his or her ability to care for the child. Parents have many professions, and it would be wrong to say that parents with certain lawful occupations are not allowed to have custody because it involves lawful escorting. Therefore, unless one can prove that lawful escorting would affect the custodial parent’s ability of caring for the child;  it would not affect the custody rights.

I only see my child every second weekend. Do I have the right to know who my child is around?

Every parent needs to know where his or her child is, and with whom the child is with at any given time. We are living in dangerous times, and it would only serve the child well if both parents know where the child is and with whom the child is with. However, if a child is with a parent, and the parent visits a friend or goes out to lunch with that friend and the child is with, it may be unreasonable for the other parent to demand to know such information. As long as the parent knows that the child is with the other parent, that should be enough. He or she may check in on the child later during the day.

How can a mother win custody of a child?

When it comes to child custody cases, the law looks at what is in the child’s best interest. If there is a custody battle or dispute, the parent who would be successful is the one who can show that the child’s best interest is met. Therefore, a mother can win custody if she can prove that she can better care for the child than the father. The opposite also applies. If the father can prove that the child would be best cared for by him, he would “win” the custody case.

Can a stay at home mom get custody?

Any parent can get custody over a child. This applies to mothers and fathers whether or not they are stay at home parents, working or unemployed. He or she must prove that having custody would be in the child’s best interests. Therefore, a stay at home mom can get custody over a minor child. The same applies to the father We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well. Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links: Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws

Child Custody battles. What are the frequently asked questions mothers and fathers pose when it comes to children disputes?

Our courts are inundated with child custody matters. Parents who were once in love and supportive of each other, now find themselves embroiled in a very sensitive and emotional legal battle. The question that is posed; who can best care for the minor child? Is it the mother or the father? Should things remain the same, or is a change warranted.

As you would see below, when deciding on where a child should primarily reside, the court would need to determine what is best for the child. The court is hardly concerned with the wishes and preferences of the parents. Their interests are secondary. However, the court has to consider all factors. That includes the domestic situation of both parents and their ability to care for the child.

I am worried about my child custody case. How can a father lose a child custody battle?

A father will lose a child custody battle if he cannot prove that it is in the child’s best interest that he has custody over the child concerned. It is important when either parent wants a change in the living arrangement for minor children, they need to focus on what is best for the kids, and not them.

I am the biological father of a 10-year-old child. What percentage of fathers win child custody cases?

That would be impossible to say. However, there is an increase in fathers “winning” child custody cases. It must be stated that each custody case is different. Therefore, unless the facts favour a parent having custody over the other, the status quo would remain. Moreover, a father who does not have a case to start with will lose his case. The same would apply to a mother should the father have primary care over the child.

Is it possible for a judge or magistrate to give 50/50 custody over a 15-year-old child?

Yes, it can happen if the parents agree to it. The other way is if the court finds it in the child’s best interests to do so. It all depends on the facts of the case. If parents live far from each other, then it won’t make sense. The same would apply if one parent works late in the evening and unable to care for the children during the day.

Who is most likely to get custody of a child who is not attending school yet?

The parent who the child is more accustomed to, and can better care for the child would most likely get custody over a child who is not attending school yet. Here one has to look at physical, emotional and psychological care as well. Other aspects which may be applicable when the child is older is the ability to assist the child with school work and extramural activities.

 

I am the biological father of a minor child. How do I prove I am a better parent in court?

You would need to prove that you can care for the child much better than the other parent can. This not only applies to physical needs but also emotional, psychological and educational needs etc. The past is a big determinant of the future. Therefore, if you have always been caring well for the child, then the courts would usually leave things the way they are unless the is a change in circumstances.

I am a single mother fighting to keep my child. How does the court of law determine custody?

Custody is determined based on what is best for the child. The court looks at many factors relevant to your specific situation. These include the ability of the parent to care for the child both physically, emotionally and psychologically. If at the end of the day, the court sees that it would be best for you to have custody, it would order so.

Can text messages be used in a child custody court?

Yes, it can be used if it proves something relevant in a case. For example, the mother saying that she was out whole night partying and left the child with a stranger. The SMS would however not be seen in isolation. The court would have to look at the mother and father’s ability to care for the child. If the father has no experience in caring for the child, then the court would most likely let the minor child remain in the mother’s care.

I just gave birth to my second child. Can a mother lose custody for not having a job?

It is not a requirement to have a job to have custody over a child. If the other parent can contribute towards child maintenance, then that would be used to attend to the needs of the child. Therefore, the mother should apply for more child maintenance if she loses her job.

How can a narcissist win a child custody case?

A narcissist can win a child custody case if he or she can prove that despite being a narcissist, he or she would better care for the child. Being a narcissist does not mean you cannot care for the child. It is also possible that both parents are narcissists. What do you do then? Therefore, the court would look at what is best for the child under the circumstances.

I was never married to my child’s mother. We broke up years ago. When should a father fight for custody?

A parent should always do what he or she thinks is best for the child. If it means fighting for a child, then that is what he or she should do. Therefore, the father should fight for custody if he believes that he can best care for the minor child. If he does not believe he can, then he should leave the child in the mother’s primary care if that is best.

I am unable to speak rationally to the mother of my child. Who gets physical custody?

It is unfortunate when parents fail to speak rationally to each other when it comes to their children. A child must be cared for by the parent who can best physically, emotionally and psychologically care for him or her. It is sometimes hard to determine which parent can best physically care for a minor child. If the matter goes to a court of law, then the parent who can best care for the child primarily would get physical custody of the child.

I do not earn a lot of money. How can I win a child custody case without a lawyer?

Legal services can be very expensive. And some cases can take very long to be finalised. There is however no need to make use of a lawyer in a child custody case. It is however always advisable to make use of one if you can afford it. It is possible to win a child custody case either way if you can prove that you can better care for the child.

 

I broke up with the father of my child soon after he was born. Can a good mom lose custody? My child is now 15 years old.

It is very rare for a good mom to lose a child custody case. If there is a custody battle, the father may have to prove that the 15-year-old child wants to live with him and that he can better care for the child despite the mom being good. In this case, the view of the child is taken into consideration. If the father cannot prove that he can better care for the child, then the child would remain with the mother.

I pay child support and regularly try to see my child. Can a father be denied joint custody?

Paying child support and rights of contact are two separate issues. When it comes to issues of custody regarding children, the law looks at what is best for the child concerned. Therefore, yes, a father can be denied joint custody if it is not in the child’s best interests despite him paying child support. The court would also have to look at the mother’s situation if relevant when making an order that the father is denied access.

Can one parent keep a child from the other parent without a court order?

Parents must always act in the child’s best interests. A parent who always had contact or access to a child should continue to do so unless it would be detrimental to the child. Therefore, no, he or she may not keep a child from the other parent unless he or she believes that the child would be in imminent harm or danger.

However, we strongly advise that should a parent believe that it is in the child’s best interests not to have contact with the other parent, that he or she first consult with a child care expert, psychologist or social worker. This is important as the other parent may lay a complaint to the police or to the court. You can then say that your decision was based on expert advice. This is especially so if there is a court order in place.

I hate my child’s father. How can I avoid joint custody?

A child should have both parents in his or her life. Therefore, joint custody, if it is in the child’s best interests must be upheld, despite hating the other parent. This should be the case despite the issues the parents have with each other. Having said that, to be successful, you would need to show the court that the child would best be cared for by having one primary caregiver. You would then have been successful in avoiding joint custody.

I can only find a job as an escort. Can you lose custody for escorting?

Escorting, when done lawfully, could lead someone from losing custody if it would affect his or her ability to care for the child. Parents have many professions, and it would be wrong to say that parents with certain lawful occupations are not allowed to have custody because it involves lawful escorting. Therefore, unless one can prove that lawful escorting would affect the custodial parent’s ability of caring for the child;  it would not affect the custody rights.

I only see my child every second weekend. Do I have the right to know who my child is around?

Every parent needs to know where his or her child is, and with whom the child is with at any given time. We are living in dangerous times, and it would only serve the child well if both parents know where the child is and with whom the child is with. However, if a child is with a parent, and the parent visits a friend or goes out to lunch with that friend and the child is with, it may be unreasonable for the other parent to demand to know such information. As long as the parent knows that the child is with the other parent, that should be enough. He or she may check in on the child later during the day.

How can a mother win custody of a child?

When it comes to child custody cases, the law looks at what is in the child’s best interest. If there is a custody battle or dispute, the parent who would be successful is the one who can show that the child’s best interest is met. Therefore, a mother can win custody if she can prove that she can better care for the child than the father. The opposite also applies. If the father can prove that the child would be best cared for by him, he would “win” the custody case.

Can a stay at home mom get custody?

Any parent can get custody over a child. This applies to mothers and fathers whether or not they are stay at home parents, working or unemployed. He or she must prove that having custody would be in the child’s best interests. Therefore, a stay at home mom can get custody over a minor child. The same applies to the father

We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well.

Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links:

Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws

Related Post

Top tips from a Senior Family Law Advocate on how to deal with your Child Custody matter in the Boksburg Children’s Court

 

Family law legal matters can be very stressful. This is so whether you live in Boksburg or any other city in South Africa. Especially so if you have no idea how the legal processes work. It is one thing to know that you are entitled to child support, but it is a totally different matter to know the law and procedure on how to claim child support. Luckily in child maintenance matters, the maintenance court is there to assist you in completing the application form. However, many times that is not enough. Especially so if the other parent has a lawyer and knows how to present the case for his or her client.

This article, however, deals with some top tips in care and contact or custody matters in the Children’s Court in Boksburg. It would explain the processes involved and advise on how to be best prepared for your matter. This advice is applicable whether you live in Boksburg or any other city in South Africa.

What to do before visiting the Boksburg Children’s Court

Before you approach the Children’s Court in Boksburg, first try to resolve the issues with the other parent. Therefore, if you want more contact with your child and the other parent is refusing, try to resolve the matter first with that parent. If that does not work, try mediation. The mediator can be anyone, from a trusted mutual friend, priest, or other religious leaders, or a professional like an attorney, psychologist, or the office of the Family Advocate. Boksburg has many professionals that can assist you in this regard. If resolving the matter by yourselves is not possible, or mediation fails, then we suggest you approach the Boksburg Children’s Court for assistance.

TIP: Focus on getting someone neutral to assist in mediating your matter. Organisations like FAMSA and FAMAC can be of assistance. Google them.

Approaching the Boksburg Children’s Court

The Boksburg Children’s Court should be approached if it is the closest Children’s Court to you. You need to verify with the Boksburg Children’s Court that you fall under their area of jurisdiction. If not, they would direct you to which Children’s Court is applicable to you.

Once you arrive at the Boksburg Children’s Court, they will provide you with a form headed “Bringing Matter to Court in Terms of Section 53 Children’s Act, 2005 (Act no. 38 of 2005) Regulation Relating to Children’s Court and International Child Abduction, 2008 [Regulation 6]. This form is also called Form 2.

In this form, you will provide all your particulars and that of the child or children and the other parent. The sections in the form are as follows:

  • PART A: PARTICULARS OF CHILD(REN)
  • PART B: PARTICULARS OF *CHILD WHO IS AFFECTED BY OR INVOLVED IN THE MATTER/PERSON *ACTING IN THE INTEREST OF THE CHILD/*ON BEHALF OF THE CHILD WHO CANNOT ACT IN HIS/HER OWN NAME/ *MEMBER OF A GROUP OF CLASS OF CHILDREN/*IN THE PUBLIC INTEREST (SECTION 53(2)
  • PART C: PARTICULARS OF PERSONS HAVING AN INTEREST IN THE MATTER
  • PART D: PARTICULARS OF MATTER

In part D, the following is stated which you need to provide in the form:

  • Nature of matter brought to Court: (Please give full details of the matter e.g., registration/amendment of parenting plans, removal of child to safe care, children in need of care and protection, placement in youth care centers, adoption etc.
  • Documents: Are there any documents relating to the matter? (If so please attach)

Once you have completed the form and attached the relevant documents to it, you must take it to a commissioner of Oaths to have it commissioned. It does not have to be in Boksburg.

TIP: Draft a separate affidavit explaining your case. Outline some background information and reasons why the Court should give you what you request. Attach it to Form 2.

Processing your Application at the Boksburg Children’s Court

Once you complete the Form A and submit it to the Clerk of the Boksburg Children’s Court, they will process it and allocate it a case number or reference number. The Clerk of the Court would then allocate a date to the matter and advise the parties accordingly when the court date is. Please note that some courts follow a different process for processing the application and informing the parties of the court date. Please enquire from the Court when making the application what process they follow.

TIP: Obtain the contact details of the Court for you to contact them to obtain the Court date or other information. Ask for their contact number and email address.

Appearing in the Boksburg Children’s Court

When notified of the Court date, both you and the other parent should attend. If you are making use of a lawyer (Advocate or Attorney), inform them timeously of the date. Depending on the Court, you may first see the Clerk or go directly to the Magistrate. The Children’s Court would do its best to try to resolve the matter. If the parents cannot come to an agreement, the Children’s Court may postpone the matter for either of the following:

  • Get a social worker involved in the matter;
  • Appoint a legal representative for the minor child;
  • Implement interim care and contact arrangements;
  • Having the parties attempt to agree on a parenting plan;
  •  

In serious matters, the Court may remove the minor child from both parents and place the child in foster care. The powers of the Children’s Court are extensive. It will, however, focus on what is in the child’s best interests.

TIP: Be as vocal as possible. Do not expect the Court to be understanding of your case or be on your side. It is your duty to explain your case and provide the Court with all the relevant information they require for them to make a fair decision.

Finalising the matter in the Boksburg Children’s Court

Once the Boksburg Children’s Court has enough information to make a final decision, it will do so. Depending on the facts of the matter, that could either be making a Parenting Plan, an Order of the Court or a final care and contact Order. The Court may even make further interim orders, where the parties are to return to Court after a few months, or a year later.

TIP: Do not agree to something just because the social worker, a lawyer, or the Court suggest it. You need to be happy with what is decided.

The above Boksburg Children’s Court Application tips should apply to the following provinces and cities:

Eastern Cape:

Alice, Butterworth, East London, Graaff-Reinet, Grahamstown, King William’s Town, Mthatha

Port Elizabeth, Queenstown, Uitenhage, Zwelitsha

Free State:

Bethlehem. Bloemfontein, Jagersfontein, Kroonstad, Odendaalsrus, Parys, Phuthaditjhaba, Sasolburg, Virginia, Welkom

Gauteng:

Benoni, Boksburg, Brakpan, Carletonville, Germiston, Johannesburg, Krugersdorp, Pretoria, Randburg, Randfontein, Roodepoort, Soweto, Springs, Vanderbijlpark, Vereeniging

KwaZulu-Natal:

Durban, Empangeni, Ladysmith, Newcastle, Pietermaritzburg, Pinetown, Ulundi, Umlazi

Limpopo:

Giyani, Lebowakgomo, Musina, Phalaborwa, Polokwane, Seshego, Sibasa, Thabazimbi

Mpumalanga:

Emalahleni, Nelspruit, Secunda, North West, Klerksdorp, Mahikeng, Mmabatho, Potchefstroom, Rustenburg, Northern Cape, Kimberley, Kuruman, Port Nolloth

Western Cape:

Bellville, Boksburg, Constantia, George, Hopefield, Oudtshoorn, Paarl, Simon’s Town, Stellenbosch, Swellendam, Worcester

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