Advocate Attorney Child Maintenance Defaulters Children Cape Town Lawyer
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How do I strategies my child maintenance case? I am struggling to grasp how to approach my maintenance matter. Please give me some advice?
As with any legal matter where you have a dispute, you need to have a strategy or a plan to be successful. Without a strategy or plan, you are just hoping for the best. However, hope does not steer a boat to shore. There are some, and in most cases, a lot of work, planning and thinking. Let’s face it, the other party or parent in your legal matter also has a plan or strategy. Suppose they put the necessary energy into executing it for the intended results, or at least more than what you are putting into it; their results will favour them much more. That is so, despite all the hope you put into it.Understand the maintenance laws and how it works
But before we move on, with any plan or strategy, comes knowledge. It would do little good if you did not research how child maintenance works, the legal process, and what outcomes are possible. With all the information online, it is expected that you would watch some online videos on child maintenance and read some of the many articles on the topic. Knowledge is key, and that is what is going to get you through your case.What are the basic principles in a child maintenance matter?
We would not say child maintenance matters are simple. Very few, if any, legal matters are simple. But anyone can learn. However, if you are guided by the principle that the maintenance amount payable is based on what the child costs, you are getting somewhere. That is your starting point and stay focused on that. Not what the parents earn or what they own. That is secondary. It does not mean that if a parent earns R 50 000 – 00 a month, that they should pay R 10 000 – 00 a month, despite the child costing R 1 000 – 00 a month. At best, the most the parent would pay is R 1 000 – 00. It would help if you worked from the ground up.You need to focus on two words, “reasonable”, and “necessary.”
The child’s expenses must be reasonable and necessary for you to convince a Court to allow those expenses. In other words, force a parent to contribute towards it. In determining what is reasonable and necessary, one would look at what the child needs for daily living and whether that falls within the standard of living of the parents and the child. For example, if the parents are modest salary earners, living in humble homes, and were brought up in the same way, then that would be what the minor child would be entitled to when calculating child maintenance. If the parents never had ponies as pets, then a pony would not amount to a reasonable and necessary expense for the minor child. However, it is up to you to explain to the court why an expense is “reasonable” and “necessary”. If you can do so for a pony, then you did a good job.Look at the means or money available in the maintenance equation
The principle one must move towards is that parents have to contribute towards the minor child based on their means. Remember, their contribution is firstly based on what the child costs and not what the earnings and wealth of the parents are. Then we need to look at what the parents can afford. Now affordability is not only based on your income, but also on your assets. If a parent does not have an income but owns expensive assets, then that has to be taken into account. Think of it this way – a parent can convert that asset into money by selling the asset.Remember, parents have to live as well (They also have expenses)
It is not that simple just to take the gross or net salary of the parent and then work out the maintenance payable from there, based on the needs of the child. If that was the case, then maintenance matters would be resolved much quicker. Parents have expenses that need to be factored into the equation. Hold that in mind all the time because that principle applies to you. Therefore, in order for a parent to earn a salary to pay child support, he or she needs to eat at work, buy clothes for work, travel to work and so on. Circumstances need to be assessed on what they are and not what one hopes them to be. If the parents cannot afford for the child to be enrolled at a specific school, then that is what one must accept and be happy with a less expensive school for your child.Analyse the situation from all angles
Once you have analysed the situation, take stock of the fact that all factors need to be looked at. You need to focus on what is reasonable. Reasonability applies to all aspects of the child maintenance equation. This includes the reasonable needs of the minor child, considering the income and means of the parents. When focusing on the child, determine whether or not his or her expenses are reasonable considering the standard of living and your position in life. Does the child need everything, or are there some items that you now require seeing that the child is older or circumstances have changed?Are the parents spending reasonably?
Look at your situation and that of the other parent as well. Is it reasonable for him or her to spend R 2000 – 00 on fuel to go to work when he or she can take public transport? This is so even though this parent earns R 6000 – 00 a month. This must be considered in conjunction with what the needs of the child are. If the parent says he or she cannot afford to pay half the school fees, which is a reasonable amount, then one needs to question whether under the circumstances using up a third of your income for fuel is reasonable, where after you are unable to pay towards your child’s school fees.Create arguments to support your point of view
Remember, you need to convince the maintenance court that what you are requesting as child support is reasonable. Reasonable based on the facts before the court or at hand, and not what one party wishes it to be. And those facts are also your income, expenses, as well as that of the other parent. Let us not forget the standard of living. This is important as we all want what is best for our children. However, not all families can afford to send their children to the most expensive schools. For many, it is not sustainable. On the other hand, parents should contribute toward their minor children, which is fair and reasonable. What is fair and reasonable is determined based on the information and facts at hand. Furthermore, what is fair and reasonable for one family will definitely not be fair and reasonable for another family. This is so despite both families having the same number of children and ages. All families and children are unique. In conclusion, if you understand the above general principles, you would find it easier to deal with and handle your child maintenance case. You will focus on what is necessary in order to be successful. Good luck with your maintenance matter.
Posted on by Telelaw
Best advice from an advocate on how to Navigate the Narcissistic Maze: Strategies for Dealing with a Narcissist
Dealing with a narcissist can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. Narcissistic individuals often display a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. Whether in personal relationships or professional settings, understanding how to navigate interactions with a narcissist is crucial for maintaining one’s well-being. In this article, we will explore effective strategies for dealing with a narcissist while preserving your mental and emotional health.Recognizing Narcissistic Traits:
The first step in dealing with a narcissist is to recognize the traits that define their behavior. Narcissists often exhibit a sense of entitlement, a preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, and an exploitative attitude towards others. Understanding these characteristics helps individuals avoid falling prey to manipulation and establish healthy boundaries.Setting Boundaries:
Establishing clear and firm boundaries is essential when dealing with a narcissist. Narcissists tend to push limits, seeking to exploit others for their own gain. It is crucial to define what behavior is acceptable and communicate these boundaries assertively. Consistency is key; maintaining and reinforcing boundaries will discourage manipulative tactics and protect your emotional well-being.Avoiding Emotional Manipulation:
Narcissists are skilled manipulators who often employ emotional tactics to control those around them. Recognize attempts to guilt-trip, gaslight, or emotionally blackmail you. Stay grounded in your own reality, trust your instincts, and resist being swayed by their attempts to distort the truth. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can provide an objective perspective and strengthen your resilience.Practicing Self-Care:
Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally exhausting. Prioritize self-care to maintain your mental and emotional well-being. This includes setting aside time for activities you enjoy, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and engaging in activities that promote relaxation. Taking care of your physical health is equally important, as a well-nourished and rested body contributes to emotional resilience.Maintaining Perspective:
Narcissists often project an image of superiority and infallibility. However, it is crucial to remember that beneath this façade lies deep-seated insecurity. By maintaining perspective and understanding the roots of narcissistic behavior, you can detach emotionally and avoid taking their words and actions personally.Avoiding Power Struggles:
Narcissists thrive on power dynamics and control. Engaging in power struggles only fuels their need for dominance. Instead, focus on maintaining your own sense of self-worth and refusing to be drawn into their manipulative games. By disengaging from power struggles, you retain control over your emotions and responses.Utilizing Gray Rock Technique:
The Gray Rock Technique involves becoming as uninteresting and unresponsive as a gray rock, making it less appealing for a narcissist to manipulate or provoke emotional reactions. Responding with neutral, non-emotional answers and avoiding engagement in their drama can diminish their interest in targeting you for manipulation.Seeking Professional Support:
Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining, and seeking professional support is a proactive step towards maintaining your mental health. Therapists and counselors experienced in narcissistic personality dynamics can provide guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space to process your experiences.Documenting Interactions:
Maintaining a record of interactions with a narcissist can be valuable, especially in professional or legal settings. Documenting instances of manipulation, gaslighting, or inappropriate behavior can serve as evidence if needed. Keep a factual and objective record to support your case in situations where it becomes necessary.Knowing When to Walk Away:
In some cases, the most effective strategy for dealing with a narcissist is recognizing when it’s time to walk away. Whether in personal relationships or professional environments, if the toxic dynamics persist and compromise your well-being, prioritizing your mental and emotional health may require severing ties with the narcissist.Conclusion:
Dealing with a narcissist requires a combination of awareness, assertiveness, and self-care. Recognizing narcissistic traits, setting clear boundaries, and avoiding emotional manipulation are crucial strategies for maintaining your well-being. Practicing self-care, maintaining perspective, and seeking professional support contribute to building resilience in the face of narcissistic behavior. By employing these strategies, individuals can navigate the complexities of interacting with a narcissist while safeguarding their mental and emotional health.
Posted on by Telelaw