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Our Legal Question of the day: I am in an abusive relationship. Is there help out there?

[caption id="attachment_6386" align="alignleft" width="300"]Set up a Consultation with us. Set up a Consultation with us.[/caption] No one deserves to be in an abusive and controlling relationship or be a victim of abuse. The causes and symptoms of abusive and controlling, romantic relationships vary. However, the unfortunate reality is that many decent people are trapped in one. And what is sad, is that they do not know how to get out of the toxic relationship, or to make it stop. There are many reasons why people remain in an abusive and controlling relationship. Some depend on the abuser for financial support, and others believe that they cannot or won’t get better should they leave their abuser.  The even more bitter scenario is when you remain in the abusive relationship for the sake of the children.
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 Family Abuse

Then there are other types of abusive relationships. They comprise of a parent abusing his or her child, or a brother abusing the sister. Even neglecting a child is abuse. This can happen when parents deprive their children economically, of decent clothing, food and shelter. The list goes on. The law terms the above type of abusive relationships under the banner of Domestic Violence. At the same time, the law affords victims of domestic violence help. The applicable legislation is the Domestic Violence Act, 116 of 1998.

What is a Domestic Relationship?

As you would see below, domestic violence is any controlling or abusive behaviour inflicted to someone in a domestic relationship. Therefore, in short, according to the Act, a domestic relationship is between family members, people living together, or people who were in a romantic relationship. You do not have to be married to someone to seek help from the law. An adopted child can also seek protection from the Domestic Violence Act. This makes it very convenient as most domestic relationships are covered by the Domestic Violence Act.

 Therefore, what is domestic Violence?

The Domestic Violence Act defines it as follows:
  • Physical abuse;
  • Sexual abuse;
  • Emotional, verbal and psychological abuse;
  • Economic abuse;
  • Intimidation;
  • Harassment;
  • Stalking;
  • Damage to property;
  • entry into the complainant’s residence without consent, where the parties do not share the same residence; or
  • Any other controlling or abusive behavior towards a Complainant.
Now, as you can see, the ambit of domestic violence is quite broad. It should cover most situations.

How to stop the abusive behavior?

Now we deal with the crux of our question and answer segment on Domestic Violence. How can you make it stop? If you are a victim of domestic violence, and you want protection, you should visit your local Domestic Violence Court and obtain a Protection Order. For an outline on how to apply, visit this article named ABC guide on how to obtain a Protection Order. Even though you are seeking protection from the law, you can still maintain a relationship with the person, but he or she would be interdicted from committing any acts of domestic violence against you.  If he or she again commits an act of domestic violence, after you obtained an interim, or final Protection order, the law would ensure that he or she gets punished.

Final words to victims of Abuse

If you are a victim of abuse, remember the law is there to protect and help you. Unfortunately, the law cannot change people’s personalities. It further cannot make someone love you or care for you the way they should, or you want them to. However, if you have no option but to remain in a relationship, with your spouse, lover, or other significant person, seek protection. Most times, that is the best you can do for yourself and those close to you.

Sharing is Caring

[caption id="attachment_6387" align="alignleft" width="300"]Business Legal Advice - Cape Town Contact us today[/caption] This and other articles and posts found on this website are written by Adv. Muhammad Abduroaf to assist people with various family law related issues they may have. If you find any of our articles, free resources and posts interesting, or possibly useful to others, please like and share it on Social Media by clicking on the icons below. For more interesting articles and information on Family Law, view our articles and Q&A page. If you have a family law related legal issue and you want someone to answer or reply to it, feel free to post it on our Family Law Blog. Therefore, kindly like and share. Should you require any other legal services and advice, not related to family law, visit Private Legal.  
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Frequently asked questions regarding relocation and consent when it comes to minor children

Relocation – Are you planning on relocating to another country or moving to a different province within South Africa with your minor child? Are you concerned about the issue of consent from the other parent? Below are some frequently asked, and related questions on the topic. We would encourage you to post and answer some of the questions, or just leave a comment. advice-child-maintenance-child-custody-divorce Parents often decide to relocate with their minor children. However, they do not always understand the legal requirements and implications involved. For example, can they just leave the country with the minor child or do they require the other parents’ consent? Furthermore, if consent is required and refused; what are the remedies available to that parent? With regard to the issue of moving from one province to another, unless a court order stipulates otherwise, consent is not required. However, the relocation from one province to another could have an effect on existing parental responsibilities and rights. Under these circumstances, a variation of the court order would be warranted. There are therefore also other issues involved when it comes to relocation. For example, what contact would the other parent who remains in South Africa have to the minor children after relocation? The aforementioned questions and a range of other related questions may be posed and answered below. Feel free to post your question should this blog post not have answered it.

Can I move from South Africa to the United Kingdom with my child without the father’s permission?

If the father has parental responsibilities and rights of guardianship, his consent is required for the relocation to the United Kingdom. For example, if the father and the mother were married, then under those circumstances unless an order of court determines otherwise, the father’s consent is required. If the father was not married to the mother, but in a long term relationship when the child was born, and involved in the child’s life after birth, then his consent under the circumstances would also be required.

What do I do if the father refuses to consent to relocate to Germany?

advice-child-maintenance-child-custody-divorceIf a parent refuses to provide the necessary consent for relocation to another country, in this case, Germany, then the Court must be approached. Basically, you would ask the court to dispense with the requirement of the father’s consent. The court would determine the case based on what is best for the minor children involved.

What type of care and contact would the other parent exercise if I relocate to Saudi Arabia?

In this digital age, there is no reason why a parent cannot have regular contact to his or her child if they live in different countries. Usually, contact would take place via Skype, WhatsApp, FaceTime, or other digital means. Email and other messaging services are also effective. When the children returns for holidays or the parent visits them overseas, then contact should be reasonable. For example, a few days with the non-custodial parent.

May I relocate with my child to Canada or the United States?

advice-child-maintenance-child-custody-divorceYou may relocate with your minor child to Canada, the United States, or to any other country if you have the father’s consent. However, consent is not always required if the father does not have guardianship rights. If you were married to the father or he was involved in the child’s life, by visiting and paying maintenance, then his consent would be required.

My child does not have a passport. Do I require the father’s consent to obtain one?

In terms of the Children’s Act, if a father has parental responsibilities and rights of Guardianship, his consent is required for the minor child’s application for a passport. If the father’s name is on the birth certificate, more than likely the Department of Home Affairs would insist on having his consent.

Can a mother move a child away from the father?

Under normal circumstances, a mother cannot move a child away from the father. However, if it is in the child’s best interest, it will be allowed. It is best to obtain a court order dealing with the parties’ parental responsibilities and rights under the circumstances. Alternatively, a social worker or childcare expert should have advised the mother that that would be in the child’s best interest.

When can a child legally decide which parent to live with?

In South Africa, a child is no longer under the guardianship of a parent when he or she turns 18 (eighteen) years old. Therefore when the child turns 18 (eighteen) years old, he or she can decide where he wants to stay, and with whom he wants to stay. The same applies in the case of the relocation. The father’s consent would not be required should the minor child decide to relocate to another country with a mother. The opposite also applies.

Can I get a passport for my child without the father’s consent?

advice-child-maintenance-child-custody-divorceIn terms of South African law, both guardians’ consent is required for a child applying for a passport. Therefore, if the father is a holder of guardianship, his consent is required. The Department of Home Affairs may insist on the father being present at their offices to give consent.

Can I move with my child without the father’s permission?

If you wish to move to a different province or to a different city within South Africa; technically you do not require the father’s permission unless there is a Court Order stating that you require his consent.

Can I change my child’s last name without the father’s consent?

The Department of Home Affairs would require both parents’ consent. If the child has the father’s surname, you would definitely require the father’s consent. If the mother remarried and wants the child to have the surname of the step-father, and the child currently has a mother’s maiden surname, then in those circumstances the Department of Home Affairs might decide not to persist with the father’s consent if he cannot be found.

Can a mother take a child out of the country without the father’s permission?

This depends on whether or not the father has guardianship rights over the minor child. If the father has guardianship rights over the minor child then, he would require the mother’s consent. Furthermore, the Department of Home Affairs would require the father’s consent before the child may leave the Republic of South Africa if the father has guardianship rights.

Can I take my child overseas without the child’s father’s permission?

If the father has rights of guardianship over the child then you require his permission to take the child out of the Republic of South Africa. This applies whether or not you intend to relocate to another country or you would like to take the child away on a holiday.

Can a mother move a child away from the father in South Africa?

advice-child-maintenance-child-custody-divorceA parent (in this case the mother) has to always act in the child’s best interest. However, under certain circumstances, the mother may have to move to a different province or to another country. Under those circumstances, the court would look at what is best for the minor child. Should the child remain in the province or in the country with the other parent who cannot care for him or her? Obviously not, unless the situation warrants it. Those are the factors that the court would have to look at.

May grandparents take the minor child abroad?

Yes, a grandparent may take a minor child abroad. However, the grandparent would require the consent of both the minor child’s parents if they are both guardians.

Can I get my child a passport without the father’s consent?

In terms of the Children’s Act, both guardians are required to give consent for the minor child’s application for a passport. Therefore, if the father has guardianship rights over the minor child, then his consent is required.

Can a mother terminate a father’s parental rights when she moves overseas?

advice-child-maintenance-child-custody-divorceA mother cannot terminate a father’s parental rights and responsibilities. Even if she moves overseas, she can’t. Only a court of law can do that. However, it is possible under certain circumstances that the father does not have parental responsibilities and rights. In those cases, he can acquire parental responsibilities and rights if he gets involved in the child’s life.   For business legal services, visit Private Legal.    
Posted on by Telelaw

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