For the sake of the minor child, try hard to resolve child custody disputes when it comes to divorce or separation.

For the sake of the minor child, try hard to resolve child custody disputes when it comes to divorce or separation.

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How to get urgent Access to your Children without the services of a Lawyer (Attorney or Advocate)

Are you a father or mother of a child and the other parent refuses you access/contact to that child? If that is the case, you have a right to relief from the Court for Urgent Access. A couple would bring a child into this world. Whilst the relationship is ongoing, they can see eye to eye on what is best for the child and both parties form a productive part of the child’s life. Even if the couple is not living together, the father would see the child regularly and bond with the child as is needed. However, once the relationship has severed, it often happens that the parties cannot see eye to eye on what is best for the child regarding regular contact by the father. The mother would either blatantly refuse the father access or would place strict measures on when and how the father can see the child. Should the mother refuse access or prescribe access to the child, which is not in the child’s best interest, the father, in this case, would have grounds to urgently approach the Court for relief. Court procedure is very complicated. It is therefore strongly advised that you approach an attorney with knowledge and experience with these urgent applications. Furthermore, the attorney should have an advocate at hand to move the Application with or without opposition at Court. However, if you wish to do it yourself, read further should you wish to make the Application in the High Court.

The Procedure

Your application is urgent and therefore it is done on affidavit and not orally in Court. You may, however, be called to give oral evidence if the Judge so wishes. This is to clarify certain issues. However, this can mostly be avoided if your papers are properly drafted. You should firstly draft a document called a Notice of Motion and a founding affidavit. I shall explain these documents next. Although reference below may be made to an attorney or advocate, you may attend to the process yourself. Lastly, for the sake of simplicity, the term contact and access is used, as opposed to care and contact.

Notice of Motion

In this document, you state exactly what you want the Judge to grant you. It is similar to the prayers in a summons. Of course, you want the Judge to grant you urgent access to your child. You are making the application urgently and sidestepping some rules of Court regarding time periods and procedure. The first thing you should, therefore, ask the Court is to condone non-compliance with its Rules. You will then ask the Court what relief you want, usually in the form of an interim order to be finalised later. Usually, you will ask for a rule nisi. An example of the prayers in an urgent access application in the High Court are as follows:
  • Condoning the Applicant’s non-compliance with forms and service and time periods provided in the Uniform Rules of this Honourable Court and permitting this Application to be entertained as a matter of urgency in terms of Rule 6(12) of the Rules of Court;
  • That a Rule Nisi be issued, calling upon the Respondent to appear before Court on ____________________ 2026 at 10:00, in order to show cause why an Interim Order should not be confirmed in the following terms:-
    • That the Applicant shall have unsupervised contact to the minor child as follows:
    • Every alternative weekend commencing from Friday 18:00 to Sunday at 18:00.
  • That the provisions above shall operate as an Interim Order, with immediate effect, pending the return date of the Rule Nisi;
This document is signed by your attorney, or by you if, you are acting in person.

Founding Affidavit

In your Founding Affidavit, you provide relevant information under oath. Here you would provide details of you, the mother and the child. You would also need to provide information on a few or more of the following matters:
  • Background information about your relationship with the mother of the child;
  • Past access to the child;
  • Past involvement in the child’s life;
  • When access to the child seized/lessened and the circumstances surrounding it;
  • Past maintenance or attempts to maintain the child;
  • Why the application is urgent and substantive redress in due course would not be afforded to you; and
  • Any other relevant information.

Issue and Service of the Application

Once the Notice of Motion and Founding Affidavit is in order, your attorney would make the necessary copies. Thereafter he would have the application issued at Court. A case number would be provided. If possible, you would have the application served on the mother of the child timeously. The Office of the Family Advocate should also be served.  Here you may make use of the office of the Sheriff or your attorney would serve the papers on the mother.

Opposition

If the mother of the child opposes the relief sort after being served with the Application, she should file an opposing affidavit to which you would have to reply. The parties would then have to argue the matter before the Judge.

Urgent Hearing at the High Court

If your matter has been set down on the Motion Court Roll, the Judge would have already read over the papers filed.  You would then wait for your matter to be called up. Should your matter is to be heard before the Urgent Judge on duty that day, you or your Advocate would have to take the file to the Judge beforehand to read. If the mother or her Advocate is present at Court, and the parties cannot settle the matter, they would then have to argue the matter before the Judge. If, however, the mother after having been duly served does not appear at court, then the process is a bit faster.

After the judge decided on the matter, the following might happen:

  • The Judge would grant the urgent access requested;
  • Grant you urgent access but not on the terms as requested;
  • Refuse to grant you any relief without a family advocate report;
  • Dismiss your application for lack of merits and/or urgency.

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Most family law matters come with heightened emotions and stress. It, however, does not always have to be that way. Staying focused and rational is important to get the best results.

Many legal practitioners will tell you, the one aspect of family law, that differentiates it from other branches of law, is the emotions that it brings to their clients. It would often happen that a client breaks down, or sheds a tear in your office. This is understandable, as family law issues have a lot of history behind it. Even simple family law legal matters, for example, the terms of an antenuptial contract, can stir emotion. The lawyer under such cases has to act as a mediator, pacifier and legal advisor at the same time.

Types of family law matters that cause heightened emotions and anxiety

Before we delve into this topic, let us first bring things into perspective. These are some of the family law matters we are referring to:
  • Divorces (Contested or Undefended);
  • Domestic Violence matters;
  • Child maintenance disputes; and
  • Child custody disputes.
The actual list is more extensive. You may even want to consider including last wills and testaments and winding up of deceased estates. As can be seen from the types of matters mentioned, there are always children involved or personal relationships. Some of these relationships have lasted for decades. We often see people who were married for more than 30 years, getting divorced. And in other cases, the relationship, albeit personal, could have been for a very short while, but still, elicit a lot of emotions. For example, a domestic violence family legal matter.

The personal nature of family matters makes it harder to deal with

One of the challenges for a legal practitioner is to try to convince the client that he or she should trust the law, and not focus too much on the other party. For example, in a divorce matter, where a spouse has been abused or constantly been bullied during the relationship. The abused spouse would very often agree to sign away everything just to get divorced speedily. This is not only unfair but could lead to many issues in the future. This situation must be avoided at all costs.

Intimidation in abusive relationships

Then we have the challenge in a domestic violence matter. A party who has been abused would agree on withdrawing an application for a protection order, even though it is dangerous to do so. Or there is the situation where a party would agree that a protection order is issued against them due to being intimidated either by the other party or by his or her lawyer. This they do not do because of having committed domestic violence, but just to get the matter over and done with. The consequence of that is the applying party would have an interdict and a warrant of arrest against you which may be abused.

Intimidation in child maintenance or alimony cases

We cannot count the number of times we have been told that the reason why a parent does not want to approach the maintenance court, is due to being told by the other parent that he or she will get much less than what they are currently receiving. This is emotional and psychological abuse and not in the child’s best interest. One reason for believing the abuser is due to the relationship the parties had. The abuser was controlling and abusive during the relationship, and the victim has been brainwashed into believing everything the abuser said.

What people must try to understand in family legal matters?

Although it is understandable for someone to be anxious when dealing with family law related matters, it is important to note that issues need to be dealt with properly. If your spouse was abusive during your relationship, that does not mean it has to continue after your relationship ended. There are laws in place to protect people from abuse and violence. For example, the Domestic Violence Act. If you make use of the law, you would have a better chance of getting the legal results you want. Go to the police if necessary.

Final words to people who are intimidated by, or is afraid of the other party

Although it is easier said than done, we implore people not to allow themselves to be bullied when it comes to family law matters. This includes being intimidated by the other party, or his or her lawyer. If you have rights; enforce them. Believe in yourself and your cause and others will learn to respect it. Many cases are won by unrepresented litigants who were up against a team of lawyers. Moreover, no one has the right to belittle you or deny you of your rights. Take a stand and fight for what is right.
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