Most family law matters come with heightened emotions and stress. It, however, does not always have to be that way. Staying focused and rational is important to get the best results.

Many legal practitioners will tell you, the one aspect of family law, that differentiates it from other branches of law, is the emotions that come with it. It would often happen that a client breaks down, or sheds a tear in your office. This is understandable, as family law issues have a lot of history behind it. Even simpler family law legal matters, for example, the terms of an antenuptial contract, can stir emotion.

Types of family law matters that cause heightened emotions and anxiety

Before we delve into this topic, let us first bring things into perspective. These are some of the family law matters we are referring to:
  • Divorces (Contested or Undefended);
  • Domestic Violence matters;
  • Child maintenance disputes; and
  • Child custody disputes.
The actual list is more extensive. You may even want to consider including last wills and testaments and winding up of deceased estates. As can be seen from the types of matters mentioned, there are always children involved or personal relationships. Some of these relationships have lasted for decades. We often see people who were married for more than 30 years, getting divorced. And in other cases, the relationship, albeit personal, could have been for a very short while, but still, elicit a lot of emotions. For example, a domestic violence family legal matter.

The personal nature of family matters makes it harder to deal with

One of the challenges for a legal practitioner is to try to convince the client that he or she should trust the law, and not focus too much on the other party. For example, in a divorce matter, where a spouse has been abused. The abused spouse would sometimes agree to sign away everything just to get divorced speedily. This is not only unfair but could lead to many issues in the future. This situation must be avoided at all costs.

Intimidation in abusive relationships

Then we have the challenge in a domestic violence matter. A party who has been abused would agree on withdrawing an application for a protection order, even though it is dangerous to do so. Or there is the situation where a party would agree that a protection order is issued against them due to being intimidated either by the other party, or his or her lawyer. This they do not do because of having committed domestic violence, but just to get the matter over and done with. The consequence of that is the applying party would have an interdict and a warrant of arrest against you which may be abused.

Intimidation in child maintenance or alimony cases

We cannot count the number of times we have been told that the reason why a parent does not want to approach the maintenance court, is due to being told by the other parent that he or she will get much less than what they are receiving. This is emotional abuse and not in the child’s best interest. One reason for believing the abuser is due to the relationship the parties had. The abuser was controlling and abusive during the relationship, and the victim has been brainwashed into believing everything the abuser says.

What people must understand in family legal matters?

Although it is understandable for someone to be anxious when dealing with family law related matters, it is important to note that issues need to be dealt with properly. If your spouse was abusive during your relationship, that does not mean it has to continue after your relationship ended. There are laws in place to protect people from abuse and violence. For example, the Domestic Violence Act. If you make use of the law, you would have a better chance of getting the legal results you want. Go to the Police if necessary.

Final words to people who are intimidated by, or is afraid of the other party

Although it is easier said than done, we implore people not to be bullied when it comes to family law matters. This includes being intimidated by the other party, or his or her lawyer. If you have rights; enforce them. Believe in yourself and your cause and others will learn to respect it. Many cases are won by unrepresented litigants who were up against a team of lawyers. Moreover, no one has the right to belittle you or deny you of your rights. Take a stand and fight for what is right. We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well. Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links: Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws    

Most family law matters come with heightened emotions and stress. It, however, does not always have to be that way. Staying focused and rational is important to get the best results.

Many legal practitioners will tell you, the one aspect of family law, that differentiates it from other branches of law, is the emotions that come with it. It would often happen that a client breaks down, or sheds a tear in your office. This is understandable, as family law issues have a lot of history behind it. Even simpler family law legal matters, for example, the terms of an antenuptial contract, can stir emotion.

Types of family law matters that cause heightened emotions and anxiety

Before we delve into this topic, let us first bring things into perspective. These are some of the family law matters we are referring to:

  • Divorces (Contested or Undefended);
  • Domestic Violence matters;
  • Child maintenance disputes; and
  • Child custody disputes.

The actual list is more extensive. You may even want to consider including last wills and testaments and winding up of deceased estates. As can be seen from the types of matters mentioned, there are always children involved or personal relationships. Some of these relationships have lasted for decades. We often see people who were married for more than 30 years, getting divorced. And in other cases, the relationship, albeit personal, could have been for a very short while, but still, elicit a lot of emotions. For example, a domestic violence family legal matter.

The personal nature of family matters makes it harder to deal with

One of the challenges for a legal practitioner is to try to convince the client that he or she should trust the law, and not focus too much on the other party. For example, in a divorce matter, where a spouse has been abused. The abused spouse would sometimes agree to sign away everything just to get divorced speedily. This is not only unfair but could lead to many issues in the future. This situation must be avoided at all costs.

Intimidation in abusive relationships

Then we have the challenge in a domestic violence matter. A party who has been abused would agree on withdrawing an application for a protection order, even though it is dangerous to do so. Or there is the situation where a party would agree that a protection order is issued against them due to being intimidated either by the other party, or his or her lawyer. This they do not do because of having committed domestic violence, but just to get the matter over and done with. The consequence of that is the applying party would have an interdict and a warrant of arrest against you which may be abused.

Intimidation in child maintenance or alimony cases

We cannot count the number of times we have been told that the reason why a parent does not want to approach the maintenance court, is due to being told by the other parent that he or she will get much less than what they are receiving. This is emotional abuse and not in the child’s best interest. One reason for believing the abuser is due to the relationship the parties had. The abuser was controlling and abusive during the relationship, and the victim has been brainwashed into believing everything the abuser says.

What people must understand in family legal matters?

Although it is understandable for someone to be anxious when dealing with family law related matters, it is important to note that issues need to be dealt with properly. If your spouse was abusive during your relationship, that does not mean it has to continue after your relationship ended. There are laws in place to protect people from abuse and violence. For example, the Domestic Violence Act. If you make use of the law, you would have a better chance of getting the legal results you want. Go to the Police if necessary.

Final words to people who are intimidated by, or is afraid of the other party

Although it is easier said than done, we implore people not to be bullied when it comes to family law matters. This includes being intimidated by the other party, or his or her lawyer. If you have rights; enforce them. Believe in yourself and your cause and others will learn to respect it. Many cases are won by unrepresented litigants who were up against a team of lawyers. Moreover, no one has the right to belittle you or deny you of your rights. Take a stand and fight for what is right.

We are certain that you found the above article useful and interesting. Please consider sharing it on the share buttons below. They include Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Gmail and more. Someone may find it useful as well.

Should you require business advice or services, feel free to click on these links:

Business SA | Private Legal | Envirolaws

 

 

Related Post

Parental Child Abuse in Child Custody Matters

This article is connected to the topic
Child Custody and Visitation Court Applications. It may be useful to read up on it before proceeding to read further. Otherwise, read on to find out more about parental child abuse and the legal aspects surrounding it. Parental Child Abuse is a common occurrence in our society. This article does not deal with the merits or demerits of parental child abuse. However, it gives light on this aspect in a child custody case.

What are the common forms of child abuse?

Child abuse can take many forms. This includes physical, emotional, sexual or psychological abuse. Each case may be different. However, the common theme, in a child custody situation would be that the child is being detrimentally affected by the parent’s conduct. Therefore, should a parent beat the child, neglect the child, or cause harm to the child, it would be seen as abuse.

What happens in cases of child abuse?

Of course, in extreme cases of abuse, such parent would be refused contact completely. This is especially in the case where the child would be traumatized should he or she have contact with the parent. However, what often happens, is that a parent would be granted supervised contact to his or her child. This is done to benefit both parent and child.

What to do when your child is being abuse by the other parent?

There are various things you can do to protect your child who is being abused. Those include going to the police, obtaining a protection order, or limiting the other parent’s rights with an order of court.

Should you approach the Domestic Violence Court?

As a parent, you may apply to the domestic violence court for a protection order on behalf of your child. This may be the best route to follow.

What about Court Application limiting parental rights?

Should there be a court order in place, affording a parent parental responsibilities and rights, you can apply to vary it. This would be applicable when supervised contact would be in the minor children’s best interests. The court would listen to both sides, and make a decision.

When should you consult with a lawyer?

Seeing that you are dealing with parental rights and responsibilities, it is best to first try to resolve issues with the other parent. If that does not work, then try mediation. Should that still not work, see a lawyer who would advise you on what would be best for you and your child. If need be, a Court application would have to be launched

Sharing is Caring

This and other articles and posts found on this website are written by Adv. Muhammad Abduroaf to assist people with various family law related issues they may have. If you find any of our articles, free resources and posts interesting, or possibly useful to others, please like and share it on Social Media by clicking on the icons below. For more interesting articles and information on Family Law, view our articles and Q&A page. If you have a family law related legal issue and you want someone to answer or reply to it, feel free to post it on our Family Law Blog. Therefore, kindly like and share. Should you require any other legal services and advice, not related to family law, visit Private Legal.  

[embed]https://youtu.be/6OFqAsq8HUE[/embed] Questions posed when registering on www.ourlawyer.co.za/live   Question 1: Gauteng

What is the procedure to dispute child maintenance because I am not happy with the maintenance officer’s ruling I want to take the matter back to court for formal enquiry in front of the magistrate?

I have 3 minor kids aged 118 & 6. I have a bond paying 6000 – the officer said I can’t claim for accommodation which I was not happy with because we are not staying for free. Grocery of R3200 electricity R900 municipal water rates and taxes R1200. Domestic Worker 2500 school fees R3030 school transport R1800 medical aid 3060 uniform clothes twice a year. Stationery. House maintenance household expenditure. I want to dispute the order because the officer was baised. The officer told me that I can’t claim for accommodation because its my bond so it’s my problem. The officer said the domestic Worker work at my house. Worst part none of our documents were scrutinised. I felt so frustrated angry and helpless. The officer decided that the father will pay for school fees school transport stationery school uniform and clothes twice a year. I am still doing more and I am earning way less that the father. Atleast is the matter can be taken back for formal enquiry so that they can look at our income expenses and then child’s need. The office took out lots of things from my claim. Accommodation electricity water and rates grocery domestic Worker medical aid and all other expenses household and house maintenance are on me. I want court to re look at this. Please advise me frustrated mother. Question 2: Gauteng My maintenance file spans from December 2010 when I opened a case against my ex-husband at the Randburg Magistrates Court. It is a long involved saga. We tried subeponas a couple of garnishees section 31 section 10 an attachment orderand still he just avoids pays what he feels like if he feels like moves jobs works as a consultant tries to hide his businesses and who he is working with and for. The case started in Randburg then transfered to Pietermaritzburg when we moved there and now is back at the Randburg Courts. I have finally managed to trace his details but feel so despondent because it feels like we are going to just continue in the fight and it will be fruitless. I have 3 children who have suffered through this and I am needing to ask if there is any hope. He is a smooth talker and manages to smooth talk his way through court proceedings even when he doesnt bring his financials. I suspect too that his life partner is also behind hiding financials as she is a financial accountant and has been on scene since the beginning. Not sure where to turn to or how to begin again. Question 3: Gauteng Am i entitled to claim back maintenance? Question 4: KwaZulu-Natal I do not require legal advice. I want to attend the session as I intend to proceed with pupillage in the near future and this is one of the facets that I have a keen interest in. I would like the opportunity to attend this session to gain more knowledge on the topic and to understand how to handle problems of this nature. Question 5: Gauteng I have twin girls turning 15 this Month. their Father had been paying R2500 maintenance for the last 3 years and 1 school fees and helps with School clothes for 1 child – he is supposed to buy them clothing for when he has them for holidays which hasn’t been done over 2 years – I barely can afford to buy them clothing and this holiday I am sending them to him with no much clothing so he is forced to buy for them while they there. He was supposed to get the girls a medical aid which never happened. They have it now because my Job gave that to me as a perk (which I am very grateful for) . My Salary without his maintenance after debt and deductions is only +/- R5000 which I have to buy food/electricity/fuel for my car/pay School Fees. I have asked him to increase it and I am not asking for a ridiculous amount of money but he hasn’t budged. The girls have needs and I feel he needs to play a bigger financial roll then he is. He is married with 2 other children. Beginning of this year he started working overseas. He comes back for 3 Months and goes back. I want to know if he isn’t in the country could his wife be summoned to court on behalf of him? Thank you. Question 6: Gauteng I have a maintenance case we attend our first date than he said I need DNA to make sure that the kids yours DNA date  was on 26 of October 2021 I go to court when I drive I found this guy send doctor letter he said I tested positive for COVID 19 but he come to sign our ob book Maintenance court is gonna help me  

Top tips and tricks from a Senior Family Law Advocate on claiming maintenance for a five-year-old child in Graaff-Reinet.

Child Maintenance is the right of the child, and not that of the parent. It is also not a privilege granted to parents who must pay it. It is their duty to pay child maintenance and support their children. Once the child is self-supporting (being able to care for him or herself), the obligation falls away. This can happen when the child is 18, 20, or even 30. It all depends on the circumstances of the case.

Claiming child maintenance for your child in Graaff-Reinet

Whether you claim child maintenance in Graaff-Reinet, or any other city in South Africa, the procedures would be the same. There are however two (2) courts that can deal with child maintenance matters. That is a divorce court, in a divorce matter, and a Child Maintenance Court. For this article, we will focus on claiming maintenance in a Maintenance Court matter in Graaff-Reinet.

The maintenance scenario – Graaff-Reinet South Africa

In this article, we will deal with the following fictitious scenario, in a child maintenance matter:

  1. The Child is seven years old and attends school in Graaff-Reinet
  2. The child is cared for by the mother who works in Graaff-Reinet
  3. The mother works and earns a Salary of R 10 000
  4. The father sees the child every second weekend. He also lives and works in Graaff-Reinet
  5. The child’s monthly expenses are R 6000 – 00 which includes food, clothing, accommodation, education, travel etc.
  6. The father earns a reasonable salary and can afford the R 20 000 – 00 per month
  7. The mother claims R 4 000 – 00 maintenance as the father earns double her salary

What is the first step the mother must take in claiming child maintenance?

The first thing the mother must do is work out exactly what the child costs by item. She breaks down the minor child’s living expenses, starting from rent or accommodation to groceries to school fees etc. Once she has done that, she would need to determine what exactly does the minor child cost per month, seeing that she will be asking the father to contribute towards that. As best as possible, she needs to collect proof of expenses. This can be in the form of receipts.

How does she start the legal process?

The mother now needs to approach the maintenance court in the area where she lives or works to lodge a complaint for child maintenance. If she lives or works in Graaff-Reinet, it would be the maintenance court in Graaff-Reinet. She will complete a Form A wherein she will provide all the expenses for her and the minor child. She would also have to stipulate her income. Once she completed the form and submitted it to the maintenance court, she must then follow the next step.

What do you do while waiting for the maintenance court date?

While you wait to be informed of the court date by the Maintenance Court of Graaff-Reinet, and up until the actual first court date, you need to ensure that you keep a record of all income and expenses for you and the child. This is very important as the court allocates maintenance based on recent income and expenses.

What happens at the first court appearance at the Graaff-Reinet Maintenance Court?

Once you have been notified of the maintenance court date by the Graaff-Reinet Maintenance Court, you need to ensure that you attend it. On that day, both you and the father of the child would appear before a maintenance officer. The maintenance officer would go through both your income and expenses as well as that of the father. If all the relevant information is not before the maintenance court, then the matter may be postponed in order for the parties to submit it.

The maintenance officer will try to settle the matter and have the parents come to an agreement regarding the amount of child maintenance to be paid. If they cannot come to an agreement regarding the child maintenance to be paid, the matter would have to proceed to a formal hearing or trial before a Magistrate.

How does the Maintenance Court hearing or trial work in Graaff-Reinet?

Essentially, the maintenance court is called upon to make a fair ruling regarding what is a fair amount of child support that needs to be paid. For that to happen, the parents would have to give evidence in that regard. The mother would present to the court what the child costs, what she contributes and what she requires the other parent to pay. The Father would have a right to question the mother and to present evidence as to why he cannot afford the amount requested or why he feels it is an unfair amount. The mother can they also question him.

At the end of the day, the Graaff-Reinet Maintenance Court would be able to properly determine what is a fair and adequate amount of child maintenance to pay after being presented will all relevant information. The Graaff-Reinet Maintenance Court should play an active role in determining what is a fair amount of child maintenance the father should pay.

The above child maintenance application principles should apply to the following provinces and cities:

Eastern Cape:

Alice, Butterworth, East London, Graaff-Reinet, Grahamstown, King William’s Town, Mthatha

Port Elizabeth, Queenstown, Uitenhage, Zwelitsha

Free State:

Bethlehem. Bloemfontein, Jagersfontein, Kroonstad, Odendaalsrus, Parys, Phuthaditjhaba, Sasolburg, Virginia, Welkom

Gauteng:

Benoni, Boksburg, Brakpan, Carletonville, Germiston, Johannesburg, Krugersdorp, Pretoria, Randburg, Randfontein, Roodepoort, Soweto, Springs, Vanderbijlpark, Vereeniging

KwaZulu-Natal:

Durban, Empangeni, Ladysmith, Newcastle, Pietermaritzburg, Pinetown, Ulundi, Umlazi

Limpopo:

Giyani, Lebowakgomo, Musina, Phalaborwa, Polokwane, Seshego, Sibasa, Thabazimbi

Mpumalanga:

Emalahleni, Nelspruit, Secunda, North West, Klerksdorp, Mahikeng, Mmabatho, Potchefstroom, Rustenburg, Northern Cape, Kimberley, Kuruman, Port Nolloth

Western Cape:

Bellville, Graaff-Reinet, Constantia, George, Hopefield, Oudtshoorn, Paarl, Simon’s Town, Stellenbosch, Swellendam, Worcester

 

 

 

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